


i can hear the universe tuning its strings

by Squishney_Lamppost



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Art School, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Artist!Hinata, Falling In Love, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, M/M, Musician!Kageyama, Self-Doubt, Slow Burn, Synesthesia, and I mean it, and also falling in love, and being an artist, it's a slow burn, it's about art
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-09-28
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:54:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 80,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23723404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Squishney_Lamppost/pseuds/Squishney_Lamppost
Summary: A synesthetic painter. A prodigy violinist. A school known for its music and art.Hinata Shouyou and Kageyama Tobio.And the universe begins to bring itself in tune for a song that sounds something like love.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Comments: 333
Kudos: 577
Collections: Haikyuu Fics That Light my soul on Fire, My favorite haikyuu fics





	1. A Letter to New Beginnings

**Author's Note:**

> Hey y'all! This is my first chaptered fic and I'm glad that you're all here for the ride!
> 
> Disclaimer:  
> I am not an artist. I am not a musician. I don't have synesthesia, nor do I know anything about college, art classes, music classes, etcetera. There will be plenty of inaccurate content in here. To my amazing artists and musicians and the like, I apologize for my extremely wrong information, but I do hope the general messages about art come through. So whether you're a painter, a writer, a singer, a photographer, anything at all, I hope this speaks to you.

Love tends to be a difficult thing for many people. It’s a sudden gut-punch, a whirlwind, a slow ascension, a long walk off a short pier, a scrapbook, a pile of forgotten things in the corner of the attic. Everything and nothing all at the same time. Something that can change in an instant, yet something that can also be never-changing. Stone beaten by the sea for years on end, yet it refuses to erode.

Love is something Hinata shouyou thought about. He thought about how he loved his mother, and Natsu. He loved the clean spring air and the lights in the marketplace. He loved paint on his fingers and mixing shades of blue. He loved texting Kenma and Suga and Yamaguchi, and of course he loved them too.

However, Hinata had never quite ventured into the other territory of love. The kind that squeezes your heart out of your chest, the kind that swirls in your stomach and threatens to never let go. A different love from family and friends.

No, he had never experienced that. Not quite yet. Though, without his knowledge, he was about to. But not straight away. In fact, at that moment, he was not experiencing love, but was rather experiencing his canvas as he banged his head into it.

“Shouyou? You’re getting paint on your forehead,” Natsu pointed out helpfully, her voice a playful yellow orange. Hinata just sighed.

“Yeah Natsu, I am. I just can’t get this to look right!” He exclaimed, jumping back from the canvas. There was now a large blotch in the middle of the painting due to the forehead interference, and Hinata’s forehead was a lovely shade of rich navy blue.

Hinata stood in front of his painting. Around him, canvases and sketchbook pages were scattered. Paint stains littered the artist’s floor, with stacks of unfinished ideas gathering dust in all the corners. Amidst the chaos, a small path from the center of the room where the easel sat to the door was created. Behind Hinata, there was a shelf full of brushes and paints and pencils of all shapes, sizes and colors. It was woefully unorganized. A sink sat in the corner of the room, a rainbow of washed out stains. A window was open to let the cool night air in.

Hinata looked at his painting again. He groaned at the sight.

The painting was attempting to be… something. The base was the blue, with colors strewn about haphazardly. It was extremely abstract, but obviously not purposeful. The colors were mixing and forming a sad sort of brown in many places, others getting lost in darker colors. All in all, a bit of a mess. Hinata groaned again, and was highly considering smashing his head back into it when Natsu spoke up again from her spot on the floor next to him.

“Why have you been throwing away so many drawings, Sho? You’ve been painting really fast lately, and not finishing any of them,” she said, looking up at him with big doe eyes

“I need one more piece for my portfolio, it’s in like three days! Three days Natsu! And it needs to be really good!” Hinata was pacing around the room at that point. He began to jump up and down in place. “I need something that’s more ‘gwah!’ ya know? Something with some more ‘pow!’” Hinata punctuated his sentence with a kick and a punch. Natsu tilted her head.

“What about the music paintings?” Natsu asked.

“I haven’t found a good song for one so far. Hm…” A bright smile snuck it’s way onto Hinata’s face. “Natsu, why don’t you grab your flute and play me something?”

Natsu jumped for joy at the idea and ran out of the room. Hinata smiled fondly after her. Natsu was only eleven years old, and had barely started playing the flute. She had come rushing home one day, talking about how some of the high school band kids had visited the elementary school and showed off their instruments. Immediately Natsu was begging their mother for a flute. She wasn’t very good, but Hinata knew it made her ecstatic when she got to play for any reason.

“I got it!” Natsu yelled, running into the room brandishing the flute like a sword. It was a polished silver, gleaming in the light. Quickly she thrust the flute up to her mouth and blew into it.

Nothing happened. She tried again. Still no sound. Her eyebrows furrowed.

“Hey Natsu, isn’t a flute supposed to make a sound?” Hinata teased.

“Oh you be quiet! It’s hard to get your mouth on the right place on the top!” Natsu whined. She tried again. This time, a sound came out.

“There, you see!” Natsu said proudly. She squinted her eyes, looking down the flute. Slowly, she placed her fingers on certain keys, thinking very hard about it. Eventually, it seemed as if all her fingers were in the right places.

“Okay, watch this!” She exclaimed. Carefully, she put the flute to her mouth, being sure not to move any of her delicately placed fingers. Again, she took a deep breath in and blew into the flute. A note rang out through the room.

Hinata saw green. Light, luscious green. The kind meant for rolling hills and days full of sunshine. The kind new enough to still smell fresh, the kind soft enough to never make your legs and arms itch when you lay down in it for an afternoon snooze. The green was gentle and faded as the note did. Hinata looked over to Natsu, who was breathing hard.

“Did you, did you hear? I held that one for, for so long,” she panted. “Was it pretty?”

Hinata smiled, taking down the messy blue disaster of a canvas and replacing it with a fresh one from nearby.

“It was a great color Natsu, a really pretty green! Like the hill where we go on picnics with mom, but like, on the best sunny days! Do you know any other notes?” he asked, picking up his paints. Natsu nodded, and went through the process of placing her fingers carefully on the notes again. Once satisfied, she blew another note.

This one was a perfect compliment to the green. A slightly dark blue, the shade of sky that comes right when the bottom edge of the sun first kisses the ground. He could just imagine sitting on the picnic hill, the lights of the city blurry in the distance, the sun just starting to set as the first few shy fireflies emerged from the grass. Him and Natsu and his mom. Sometimes Suga would come along too, and he thinks he could convince Kenma if he had enough time. The ones he loved most, sitting together, watching the world-

“Yes! That’s it!” Hinata yelped, jumping up and down. “Natsu, you’re a musical genius!” Natsu flushed red at the praise. Hinata turned around and began rapidly grabbing at random paints and brushes, squirting different colors all over his palette. Different shades of blue, green, and yellow, whites and blacks, a few oranges and pinks. Without any planning, any thinking, Hinata began to throw colors up on the canvas.

This was pretty typical of Hinata. He wasn’t a very technical painter. Art was emotion, it was whatever he was thinking or feeling at the time. He wasn’t concerned with anatomy or good shading, it was just about how the painting made him feel. He went with his instinct first, and that tended to lead him down the right path.

Hinata spread greens and blues across the canvas, following his gut on where the edges of the hills were, where the sky started. He couldn’t believe he hadn’t thought of something like this before. He had paintings of the gym, where he loved to play volleyball with some of his friends. He had abstract paintings of what his favorite songs looked like to him. He had still life because of course he had to have still life. Paintings of water drops and bicycles. How could he have forgotten to paint this, to show all those schools the most important thing?

A hilltop started to take shape, with a large tree towering over it. A city began to be laid out below, faint and smudged. It was dotted with careful lights. Hinata wiped his forehead, a smear of paint following it. He was too ensnared with his own process to notice.

A sun started to appear in the sky. It wasn’t completely there, starting to hide itself behind a distant hill that laid next to the city on the painting, but far closer due to perspective. In the darker corners of the frame, a choice few stars began to show their faces, fragile white dots placed just so.

The fireflies began to emerge, some still hidden by licks of tall grass. They seemed to glow on the canvas. Just a touch of pink and orange began to creep around the edges of the sun and distant hillside, like they were trying to hang on to it.

Figures started to appear on the main hill, the one with the tree. Six in all. A smaller brush came and delicately brushed silver hair on one, and two-toned hair on another. Three orange haired figures were given color and shape. Another’s hair was brown, but with just a hint of green, like an old tree hidden deep in a forest.

The six figures all sat together, laughing. They were close to each other. A head leaned on a shoulder. Knees bumped. They all had their backs to any onlookers, choosing instead to watch the sunset. Their faces weren’t seen, but it can only be assumed they were smiling.

In the tree, Hinata finally added a crow. It was hidden away in the branches, almost impossible to see if you didn’t know what you were looking for. But it was there. A little touch, Hinata’s way of signing something before he even signed it.

Stepping back, Hinata came back to reality. Sun was shining through the open window and Natsu was long gone, probably had been for some hours now. Hinata suddenly felt the ache in his arm from being used for so long, the need for his legs to not be holding him up. The sleeplessness hit him. He almost fell over. He didn’t though. His eyes never left the painting.

“How could I have forgotten my family?” Hinata murmured to himself.

There on the canvas were the ones he was closest too, all watching the sunset together. His mother holding Natsu close, Suga teasing Yamaguchi and Kenma looking up from his game for just a moment to see the world. Hinata sat with them all. The painting had a feeling to it. It felt like comfort, like family, like relaxed friendships that never truly ended. 

It felt like a kind of love.

Hinata tilted his head at the painting for just a moment. It wasn’t a technically perfect piece, that’s for sure. Hinata had never taken any actual art classes or anything, simply drawing what felt right. Though he was nervous that might hurt his chances of getting into schools, wasn’t the school supposed to teach him the technical know-how? He hoped his natural instincts and the emotion he poured into each piece was enough.

And this piece, well, they better like it. It was an emotionally perfect piece, if Hinata did say so himself. He looked at the painting again. Strangely, it felt… incomplete. He didn’t know why, his whole family was there, maybe something else was missing?

No, no, it was probably just the sleep deprivation. Hinata just shook his head. He could look again in a few hours. Maybe he forgot something in the city, or a color in the sunset.

However, as he slunk out of his studio and towards his bedroom, he couldn’t help but think it could be a person.

\----------------------------------------------------

Hinata had been anxiously waiting by the mailbox the second he had sent his portfolio off to schools. His mother kept trying to tell him that he wouldn’t find out for a few weeks, but Hinata still insisted on checking the mail every single morning.

The school he was most anxious about was Miyagi University of the Arts. It was an art and music school that Suga went to, and was right near Kenma’s school, Tokyo Tech. The schools often collaborated on arts and science or technology projects. Kenma had told him about how some art students had helped with a game design project he was working on.

The art piece that had convinced him to start painting had also come out of Miyagi U. He remembers seeing it for the first time like it was only yesterday, despite the years that had passed.

He doesn’t remember the artist’s name. Only the picture, a short man with dark black hair and an intense expression. The painting itself was a wonder. A figure reaching towards the sun, with outstretched wings extending from his back. The wings were shiny and black, some feathers dropping off of them as the man flew higher and higher. He was straining, reaching, fighting for something. The rest of the world didn’t matter. It didn’t matter how high up he was, if his wings were tired. He was reaching the sun.

At least, that’s what Hinata thought. Though it was a painting, he felt like it was moving, like the outstretched wings were flapping in front of his eyes. The canvas itself was huge, stretching so far up Hinata had trouble seeing the top. Though Hinata didn’t remember the artist's name, he remembered the name of the piece.

_Fly._

Hinata had always been able to see things others didn’t. Synesthesia would do that to you. But before seeing that painting, he had never thought about expressing himself through art. Yet, looking at those wings, Hinata could almost hear it. The blue of the sky reminded him of his mother’s voice. The feeling of reaching, or desperation for something, of a drive to get somewhere, Hinata knew it. He saw it on the canvas.

He wanted to put himself on a canvas too.

That’s where it all began. Hinata was often inspired by songs or voices or other sounds he heard for colors and shapes in his painting. He loved when something came out right, when you could practically feel the emotion dripping off it. Painting was how he was able to explain his synesthesia to Natsu, how he was able to overcome his frustrations when he felt too short or not smart enough. He expressed his joys and fears into his art, and he wanted to be better at it, to do it for the rest of his life.

Miyagi is where he had to be for that to happen. He wanted to create his own _Fly._

So he was going to check the mailbox religiously until he got that letter.

“Shouyou, come inside! Your dinner is getting cold and the mailman won’t come again until tomorrow so stop checking!” Hinata jumped at his mother’s words. He pouted, but obeyed, walking back inside. Before he went through the door, he looked back at the mailbox one last time, as if it would suddenly have new mail.

“SHOUYOU! STOP LETTING COLD AIR INTO THE HOUSE!” His mother called, voice a bright red-orange.

“SORRY!” He yelled back, and quickly made his way inside.

\----------------------------------------------------

“When are we gonna hear baaaaaack,” Hinata complained to Yamaguchi. The two were out at a park eating lunch together. Yamaguchi said it was to distract them from their school acceptances and rejections, but there was one school the pair was particularly nervous about.

“I think it should be soon,” Yamaguchi responded. Hinata always liked how his voice looked. A hesitant spring green.

“How soon is soon? Like, soon as in right now or like next week soon?” Hinata asked, leaning towards Yamaguchi.

“I don’t know, a few days soon? That soon? Soon, how many days is soon? My mom said soon-ish, what does the ish mean? More or less soon?” Yamaguchi tended to ramble when he got nervous. Hinata recognized it instantly.

“Oy, Yamaguchi! Don’t be nervous! You’re totally gonna get in! I saw that last water color you did, that alone is gonna blow those stuffy professors away!” Yamaguchi laughed nervously at Hinata’s words.

“Well if I shouldn’t be nervous, then you shouldn’t be either. I mean, that last painting was just amazing! You could have like, sold it or something,” he said. Hinata waved his arms.

“No way! I did that in like, one night, it’s way too sloppy! Plus no one would even know who the people are in it! That’d be so random to buy it,” Hinata mused.

“One night! Gosh that’s unfair. It took me forever to even sketch that apple tree picture,” Yamaguchi complained.

“Yeah, and it’s awesome! You put the time in, and you got something really good out. Trust me Yamaguchi, you’re totally in,” Hinata said. 

“I guess you’re right. Hey, do you know what dorm you want to be in?” Yamaguchi asked, changing the subject.

“Karasuno! Sugawara’s gonna be an RA for that dorm!” Hinata said.

“Oh yeah, I remember him saying something about that. He said they only have a few spots, since all the dorms have students from every year,” Yamaguchi said.

“Yeah, it’s cool that you can be roommates with a second or third year already!” Hinata exclaimed. Yamaguchi rubbed the back of his neck.

“Well, I read that it’s pretty rare for that to happen, usually first years are all paired together unless there’s some special circumstances, like a gender divide or someone needing their own room.”

“I still think it would be cool!”

Yamaguchi laughed at that. The subject stayed on dorms and school for a little bit, before it changed to art and then friends and then that one new noodle place that opened down the street and then somehow the topic landed on the best type of dog, despite neither boy owning one. A few hours later, Yamaguchi checked the time and yelped.

“It’s that late already? I told my mom I’d be back in ten minutes!” Yamaguchi quickly stood up. “I’ll text you later Hinata!” He called. Then he began to fast-walk down the path, trying to cut down his fifteen minute walk back home.

“Bye Yamaguchi! I’ll talk to you later!” Hinata called back. He then turned the other way and started the much shorter five minute walk back to his house.

\----------------------------------------------------

When Hinata arrived back, he checked the mailbox. Nothing. But the mail hadn’t been delivered yet when he left to go hang out with Yamaguchi. His mom must have brought it in.

Hinata waltzed inside, calling out “I’M HOME” to the entryway.

“Shouyou! A letter came for you!” His mother responded.

Hinata swore he felt his brain short-circuiting.

He threw off his shoes as fast as possible and sprinted to the kitchen, almost slipping on the way there. He skidded down the hall risky business style and ended up in front of a pile of papers on the kitchen table.

“Over here Sho,” his mother said from behind a kitchen counter. She was holding up an envelope. A larger-than-normal envelope. Like one a university might send. Hinata rushed forward and plucked it from his mother’s hand.

“Thanks mom!” he said, already ripping open the top of the envelope. He reached inside and pulled out a piece of paper that was far nicer than most papers had a right to be, with a seal on the folded part facing out. Hinata quickly broke the seal, but did his best not to rip the paper.

He eagerly unfolded the envelope.

A few seconds passed, Hinata’s eyes scanning the page, careful not to miss a word.

His mom stared at him, nervous for her son.

Suddenly, Hinata yelled.

“I GOT IN!” He cried out.

“Shouyou that’s fantastic!” His mother said, doing a little jump of her own.

“I can’t believe it! Miyagi! I get to paint there! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!” Hinata could barely contain his energy on the best of days, but now he was practically jumping on the couch and sprinting around the room, yelling.

“Wait!” Hinata came to an abrupt halt. “I have to text Yamaguchi!” He raced out of the room, the letter falling out of his hands. His mother smiled and shook her head, walking over to the letter and picking it up.

_Dear Hinata Shouyou,_ the letter began.

_We would like to congratulate you on making it into Miyagi University of the Arts! The best years of your life await you, and we hope you choose Miyagi to celebrate them. You’ve been accepted into the Fine Arts major, and Karasuno dorms._

The letter continued on, detailing more congratulations and acceptance options. Hinata’s mother smiled. Her baby was going to his dream school! She carefully placed the letter down on the kitchen table, smiling at it as she went back to the stove to prepare dinner. She may even make a dessert, just as a little present to Shouyou. He had worked so hard on his portfolio. She couldn’t be prouder.

\----------------------------------------------------

Far away, but not quite too far away, a very similar letter found its way into another pair of hands. Long fingers, slightly calloused, and very well manicured. They crushed the paper under their grip.

_Dear Kageyama Tobio,_

_We would like to congratulate you on making it into Miyagi University of the Arts! The best years of your life await you, and we hope you choose Miyagi to celebrate them. You’ve been accepted into the Music major, and Karasuno dorms._

Kageyama sighed, not bothering to read the rest quite yet. All the other music schools must have seen that concert disaster. He had gotten plenty of rejections, and Miyagi certainly wasn’t his first choice. He looked at the letter again.

His grandfather had always said that the universe would always put itself in tune. That it didn’t make mistakes, and even if the first few notes were a little rough, they always righted themselves in the end. He had laughed as Kageyama struggled to fit his small fingers on the strings on the violin, or reach both sides of the piano.

“Follow the music, Tobio,” he said. Kageyama re-read the letter. Miyagi University. Well, it wasn’t like it was a bad school. It was actually ranked pretty high, prided itself on creativity and collaboration. Kageyama wasn’t very good at those two things, but maybe that’s why this letter was sitting in his lap.

Love itself wasn’t something Kageyama had experienced for a long time. Not the comfort that came with familial love, nor the platonic warmth of friendship. And he had never, not once, felt the stone-beaten, heart-eating, mountain-climbing, river-rapid-moving type of love. Not yet.

Follow the music. Closing his eyes, Kageyama could almost hear it, softly, softly. The universe tuning itself. It was getting ready for a very important performance.


	2. Welcome to Karasuno Dorms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata and Yamaguchi arrive at Karasuno dorms, and we meet our cast of characters, though someone seems to be missing.

The wheels of Hinata’s suitcase were barely on the ground as he rushed out of the car. 

“Hinata! Wait up!” a voice called from behind him. But Hinata didn’t slow down. Not until he had gotten to a large sign. He came to a quick halt, his beaten suitcase bouncing along beside him. He looked up in awe and excitement, sitting still for a just a moment.

Looming over him was a colorful sign, bigger than he could have imagined. Once, it simply read “Miyagi University of the Art: Where Creativity and Collaboration Combine” in bold black script. However, that script was both faded and colored over at least 10 times. The previously empty sign had been filled to the brim with the signatures and drawings. It was a tradition of the art seniors to sneak up to the sign before graduation and make their mark, whether it was the signature they always used, some doodle they wanted to draw, or anything else. Hinata was enraptured by the marks of so many different artists who had graced the halls of Miyagi.

“Hinata, thank goodness you stopped, what are you… oh.” Yamaguchi stopped as well, taking in the sign.

“Yamaguchi, one day, our names will be up there!” Hinata said. He bounced up and down a little at the thought.

“Hinata, we’re first-years, and classes don’t even start until next week. We’ve got a long way to go,” Yamaguchi responded, but he still held a fond and hopeful smile on his face.

“We made it Yamaguchi.”

“Yeah Hinata, we did.”

A moment of silence passes between them, but a moment is all Hinata could take.

“Well what are we waiting for? Let’s go to our dorm! Meet our roommates! See what the world has in store!” Hinata sprung to life once more and began running down the sidewalk, much to Yamaguchi’s dismay.

“Not again… HINATA! WAIT UP!” Yamaguchi shouted once more. Then he sighed, shook his head, and took off at a light jog.

During his run, Hinata tried to take in as much of campus as he could. The outdoor stages he passed by. The large tree kids were sitting under to talk. The statues scattered around campus, the fountains and classrooms and students milling about. He couldn’t believe it. He just couldn’t believe it. He pinched himself as he ran, laughing when no dream melted away. This was reality.

He ended up in front of a small-ish building, colored orange and black with abstract shapes. A large and clearly homemade sign that read “WELCOME FIRST YEARS!” On the side of the building, it’s name was painted: Karasuno Dorms.

Hinata squeaked in excitement. His new home for the next four years. Hopefully.

At most schools, living arrangements change and shift every single year. However, at Miyagi, the dorm you’re assigned as a freshman almost always becomes the dorm you stay at for the next four years. Of course, certain situations can cause people to move dorms or live off-campus, but most find a new family in the dorms, and choose to stay.

Panting, Yamaguchi finally made his way next to Hinata.

“Finally caught up with you,” he said through deep breaths, wiping sweat off of his forehead. He too looked up at the building, taking in the colorful shapes and signs.

“So this is it?” Yamaguchi asked.

“Yup! Karasuno dorm!” Hinata replied. Finally moving at something other than breakneck speed, Hinata made his way towards the door, a spring in his step.

Opening the door, Hinata and Yamaguchi found what one would expect for a small dorm. They came into an entry room with some tables and chairs. To the right sat a large whiteboard with a creative welcome message. A long hallway sprawled out with a multitude of doors. At the end of the hall, there seemed to be another room, probably a larger living room. Karasuno dorm was quite small, as most of the Miyagi dorm rooms were. Just one story.

A face popped up from the room at the end of the hallway.

“Ah! Hello, you must be the new freshmen!” The voice was a light, wispy blue and Hinata recognized it immediately.

“SUGA!” He yelled out. Suga came into view, walking down the hallway to greet the two friends. He had light silver hair, a kind smile, and a slight mischievous glint to his brown eyes.

“Ah, Hinata, Yamaguchi! Welcome!” He said, arms open. “I’m so happy I got you two as my residents!” Sugawara Koushi was a third year and one of the two RAs, or resident assistants. There to help with welcomes, activities, events, and emotional breakdowns. Though Hinata hadn’t met the other RA, Suga had spoken highly about him.

“Suga! This is amazing! The campus is amazing! It’s so pretty!” Hinata said, once again unable to keep still.

“I can’t help but wonder how you saw the campus when you were moving so fast through it,” Yamaguchi mumbled, but there was a small grin on his face. Suga laughed at that.

“Well, you’re going to be seeing so much of the campus from now on you’ll probably be sick of it! Let me show you to your rooms. You guys are the first ones here, besides me and Daichi of course, so you can have first pick on the beds. This year’s rooming situation was a little… complicated, but we got it all sorted, and both of you have roommates.”

The trio walked down the hall. All the doors were labeled with little pieces of paper that had names on them. Suga explained everything as they walked, pointing at the various doors.

“This first one is my room, which I share with Daichi and now Asahi. It used to be different, we were in room three and Asahi was rooming with someone else, but we have someone who requires their own room, so we did a little switch. Room one is the biggest, so it made the most sense.

“Room two is for Takeda, one of our advisors. It’s weird that we have two, but that’s just what happened. Ukai is new this year, needed someplace, some other teachers were retiring or moving around. I don’t know the full story, but we ended up with two. So Ukai is in room three.

“Next is for Yachi and Kiyoko. It’s weird that we only have two girls this year, but I’ve heard that sometimes the numbers are just strange. There have been almost all girls' dorms too. Yachi is a freshman like you guys, and Kiyoko is our year.

“Then it’s Ennoshita and Tanaka, both second years. I’m sure you’ll meet Tanaka soon, he and Nishinoya are always pretty early. After that, Narita and Kinoshita, also in their second year. And then we have- oh!” Suga stopped in front of this door.

The sign on the door read “Tsukishima Kei! Yamaguchi Tadashi! Welcome!” and had a little cartoon dinosaur drawn on.

“This is your room Yamaguchi! Go ahead and put your stuff in, claim a bed real quick. We’ll wait.” Yamaguchi nodded and opened the door, anxiously looking from bed to bed.

“What if I choose the bed my roommates wants?” He wondered out loud.

“I’m sure he won’t care, first come first served anyway,” Suga said. Yamaguchi still looked nervous, but eventually chose the bed on the right. He place his suitcase gently down on the plain mattress and then joined the others in the hall.

“Alright!” Suga clapped. “Now, next is your room Hinata!” Suga stopped in front of the next door, labeled with “Hinata Shouyou! Nishinoya Yu!” and a cartoon crow squawking.

“Awesome!” Hinata yelled, then raced in. He looked from bed to bed, quickly deciding on the left bed and throwing his suitcase on it. The suitcase bounced on the mattress, but lay still after that. He rushed back to the hallway.

“Well, now you both have your rooms! And I’m sure you’ll meet your roommates in a bit. Yamaguchi, you have a first year roommate, but Hinata, because of the strange circumstances, your roommate is actually a second year. He’s a bit… excitable but trust me, I’m sure you’ll get along great.”

Suga continued down the hall. He pointed out the bathrooms and the supply closet, but skipped over the last door. Hinata caught a glimpse of the sign. “Kageyama Tobio!” it said in colorful letters. 

_That must be the guy who has to have his own room,_ Hinata thought. His attention was quickly brought away as Suga continued down the hall, the name Kageyama Tobio fading from his mind.

At the end of the hall, the room opened up into a large lounge. There was a kitchen, a big table, and tons of chairs. A huge couch sat in front of a TV, and a shelf full of games sat next to it. Other comfy chairs and beanbags were scattered about, pillows and blankets placed nicely. A man was sitting and reading on one of the chairs. He turned.

“Ah, you two must be our first freshmen! Welcome! My name is Sawamura Daichi, but just Daichi’s fine,” the man said. Hinata liked the way his voice looked. It was a warm brown that seemed to watch the man’s eyes and hair, and had a sort of sturdy quality to it. Different from the wispy blue of Suga.

Hinata immediately stepped forward.

“Hi! I’m Hinata Shouyou! I’m a painter!” He said. Daichi looked a little taken aback by the energy for just a moment, before giving Hinata a big smile.

“Nice to meet you Hinata! Glad to see we have another artist. I’m a sculptor,” Daichi said proudly.

“WOW! That’s so cool! A sculptor!” Hinata’s eyes were wide with excitement. “I’ve always wanted to try, but never knew how! It must be so cool to make sculptures! I wanna try!” Daichi laughed.

“Well, that’s why you’re here! We have some pretty great sculpting classes, from beginning to advanced.”

“Alright, thank you professor Daichi,” Suga interrupted. Daichi frowned at him, but Suga only responded with a playful smile. “And this is Yamaguchi.” Yamaguchi stepped forward at the sound of his name, looking a little nervous.

“Hi, hello, yes I’m Yamaguchi Tadashi! Nice to meet you!” He got through the sentence shakily.

“Good to meet you Yamaguchi. What are you here to study?” Daichi asked.

“Oh! I’m a painter too, but I like watercolor better. I mean, I’m not against oils! Or not oils! I’m just not very experienced with other types of art, I guess,” Yamaguchi finished lamely. Daichi only grinned.

“Well, like I said to Hinata, that’s what you’re here for. We have all sorts of classes, from beginner to advanced, for you to learn whatever you desire.”

“Daichi, they’re already enrolled, you don’t need to advertise,” Suga deadpanned.

“Wh- I’m not advertising! I’m just telling them they have options!” Daichi sputtered. Suga only laughed at his discomfort before turning to the two boys.

“Well, you two can go ahead and start to unpack, hang stuff up, get settled in, the works. Daichi and I will be in here if you need anything, and your dormmates will be here soon I’m sure. Once everyone is here and settled, we’re having a group dinner and game night! Now scoot!”

Yamaguchi and Hinata each gave a quick wave before walking back to their respective rooms.

“I wonder what my roommate will be like… I hope he’s nice,” Yamaguchi said as they approached the rooms.

“I’m sure he will be! And if he isn’t, I’ll kick his ass for you!” Hinata punched the air, showing off his “fighting skills.” It did manage to make Yamaguchi smile.

“I hope you're right,” he said. Both boys then went into their rooms, looking at the blank walls before them.

Hinata got right to work.

Firstly he threw on a black fitted sheet. Then his bright orange sheets and pillowcases, and his comforter. He had just gotten all the new bed coverings for this room, orange and black for Karasuno. After making his bed, he unpacked everything else.

He plopped down his clothes less than neatly in the drawers of the dresser at the foot of his bed. He put a lamp down on his bedside table, grinning when he flicked it on and off. He added a framed photo of him, his mom, and Natsu to the bedside as well. Then an alarm clock, which he set to the correct time. Finally, he added a small crow trinket his mother had bought for him, putting it next to the photo.

Then it was time to tackle the blank walls on his side of the room. He pulled out the corkboard first. It was the same one he kept in his room. On it were tons of pictures of different people and places. Kenma, Suga, Yamaguchi, Natsu, and his mother all made frequent appearances. The pictures were of all sorts of things, from a day out on the town to a picnic to simply washing dishes. Next to this, he hung a painting. It was the last one he had made for this portfolio, of his family all sitting together on the picnic hill watching the sunset.

Hinata stepped back and smiled, seeing all the people he loved and cared about up on his wall.

He continued to hang a multitude of other photos, posters, and art pieces on the wall. Some of the art was from others, and some of it was his own. Some people thought he was vain for putting up his own art, but Hinata didn’t see it like that. Seeing his favorite pieces helped inspire him to make more art, making him feel proud even when stuck in an art block. Seeing past accomplishments reminded him how far he had come. Plus, like the painting of the sunset crew, some of them remind him of important people or moments in his life. Like his whole story strewn up on the wall.

As Hinata was hanging up pieces, he almost fell off the bed in surprise when someone burst through the door.

Just as short and just as energetic as Hinata, the stranger had a blonde streak in his gelled up hair and a wild look in his eyes. He pointed at Hinata.

“You must be Hinata Shouyou, my dear underclassman! I am your super-cool new roommate, Nishinoya Yu! And because we are roommates, you may have the privilege of calling me Noya!” His voice was an electric red, bright and overbearing despite his short stature.

“Uwah!” Hinata exclaimed. How was he lucky enough to have someone this cool as a roommate? Before he could say anything, another voice piped up.

“Noya, stop scaring the freshmen!” A light blue voice drifted in the room.

“Sorry Suga!” Noya called back, but turned back to Hinata.

“So, tell me about yourself! Looks like you’re an artist, yeah? Awesome! I’m a music guy myself.”

“That’s so cool! Yeah, I like painting! What music do you make? What instrument do you play? Is it hard to be a music major?” Hinata barraged him with questions, but Noya seemed to bask in the attention.

“I play lots of different instruments, though they all belong in the coolest section: the brass section! My favorite is probably the trumpet, though I’m great at all of them,” Noya bragged. Hinata’s eyes were alight with curiosity and amazement.

“Wow! I can’t even play one instrument!”

“Well, good thing you’re here for art not music then!” Noya laughed. “But, I would be happy to teach you how to play, you are my roommate after all!”

“Really? Teach me the trumpet! You must be so good!” Noya held his chin high with a smile at the praise.

“Indeed I am,” he replied. He was about to say something else, likely about how cool he was or how amazing his trumpet skills were, when another voice interrupted him, just as loud and booming.

“NOYA! LET ME MEET YOUR NEW ROOMMATE!” It yelled. This new voice was an in-your-face orange, exploding like a firework in Hinata’s field of vision. In ran a man with just as much energy as Noya, with a shaved head and no shirt on.

“Tanaka, please put a shirt on, you’re embarrassing yourself,” another voice broke through. This voice had a similar color to Daichi’s, but a little darker, like a rich dark chocolate. It was substantial and seemed to be able to break through the alarming reds and oranges present with Tanaka and Noya. Tanaka turned at the voice, body stiff at being caught.

“Ah, Ennoshita. I didn’t think you were here yet?” Tanaka tried, rubbing the back of his head. Rather than a response, he was met with a shirt being thrown at his head. Grumbling slightly, he put it on. Then he whipped right back around to Hinata.

“You must be Hinata!” he exclaimed.

“That’s me! Hinata Shouyou, I like painting!” he responded. Tanaka smiled at this.

“A painter! Exciting! The art majors are so cool! I’m in music, in the best section: percussion!” 

“Amazing!”

“Aren’t I? Say it again!”

“Amazing!”

“Haha! I like you!”

That enriching conversation was broken by the owner of the deep brown voices making an appearance. He had short brown hair and a tired look to him.

“Tanaka, stop bothering the first years,” he said, emotionless.

“Ennoshita, that’s our job now that we’re in our second year!” Tanaka complained. Ennoshita looked at him. A beat passed.

“Ah fine, fine. We’ll talk more at dinner, Hinata Shouyou!” Tanaka exclaimed. He then followed Ennoshita out of the room, whining a bit more to the unreactive Ennoshita.

“Isn’t Ryu the coolest?” Noya said. Hinata nodded enthusiastically. “Now then, it’s time to set this room up! We’re gonna have the most awesomest room in the dorm!”

“Yeah!”

The two quickly got to work unpacking Noya’s things, including the many cases of instruments, from trumpets to trombones to saxophones. Noya’s side of the room was covered in posters of bands and music albums. He also had photos of his friends and family. Hinata saw Tanaka and Ennoshita present in a lot of them. The other person that was featured constantly was a man with long hair and a goatee. Nishinoya caught Hinata looking at one of the photos.

“That’s Asahi! He’s a third year, isn’t that awesome? He lives here too, he’s rooming with Suga and Daichi this year! You’ll meet him at dinner,” Noya said. He smiled fondly at the picture of Asahi, before going back to unloading his clothes into the drawers. He was just as neat as Hinata.

Eventually, all photos were hung up and clothes were in drawers.

“Come on, let’s go to the lounge, I’m sure a lot of other people are here now,” Noya said, leading the way out of their room. Hinata followed dutifully behind, excited to meet new people.

\----------------------------------------------------

Noya was right about there being some new people. Hinata spotted Suga talking to a very pretty dark haired lady, and Daichi to the man Hinata had seen in Noya’s photos. Ennoshita and Tanaka were talking to two other people Hinata didn’t know, but he had also occasionally seen them in Noya’s photos. All the chatter in the room made colors pop up left and right, a rainbow to Hinata’s eyes. Hinata also spotted Yamaguchi, sitting nervously alone.

“Yamaguchi! What’s up? Did you meet your new roommate?” Hinata said, running up to Yamaguchi. Yamaguchi looked very relieved that Hinata was there, the stiffness in his figure fading.

“Oh, Hinata! Yeah, I met him. He’s um… well, he didn’t really talk to me that much? He just said hi.” Lowering his voice, Yamaguchi leaned in towards Hinata. “To tell you the truth, he’s really tall and kind of scary. I don’t know if I’ll survive this rooming situation.”

Hinata leaned away from Yamaguchi after hearing that.

“Well, if he tries anything, just let me know! He won’t mess with my friend!” Hinata nodded at Yamaguchi, who smiled up at him.

“I will, but you might be a little short to fight him. He’s pretty tall.”

Hinata was flabbergasted at Yamaguchi’s words.

“You don’t think I can take him? Point him out to me Yamaguchi, I’ll give him a piece of my mind!” Hinata huffed, but Yamaguchi grabbed his arm before Hinata could stand and start to try and fight his dormmates.

“He’s not here! He’s still in our room, he said he’s gonna wait until dinner to meet everyone, which should be pretty soon from what I heard from Suga,” Yamaguchi said. Hinata relented, the defiant anger seeping out of his body.

“HI! SORRY I’M LATE! IS THIS KARASUNO?” A voice suddenly rang out across the lounge. Hinata was surprised by its cotton candy pink coloring, though it had a slight anxious edge to it that he often saw in Yamaguchi’s voice.

Everyone turned to see a small blonde girl gripping at a bunch of bags and suitcases, knees shaking. Suga was the first to respond.

“You must be Yachi! Yes, welcome to Karasuno dorm! Here, let me show you your room,” he said, unphased by Yachi’s entrance.

“I’ll go as well,” someone else said. Hinata looked to see it was the dark haired woman Suga had just been talking to. Her voice was a royal purple that almost seemed to have a velvet texture. Hinata quite liked it.

“Oh! Yes, thank you Kiyoko. Yachi, this is Shimizu Kiyoko, your roommate,” Suga explained.

“I’M YACHI HITOKA! VERY NICE TO MEET YOU!” Yachi said, at the same volume as before. As she yelled that, she stuck out her hand for a handshake, dropping at least two bags in the process. Kiyoko simply smiled and took Yachi’s hand in her own for a handshake.

Yachi looked as if she may faint from the touch.

“This was Yachi! Once you get settled, we can start dinner,” Suga said, helping pick up the bags that were dropped.

“O-okay!” Yachi stuttered, at a thankfully normal volume. The trio disappeared down the hall, and the chatter in the lounge resumed. Hinata stayed with the clearly nervous Yamaguchi, talking about classes and art supplies and who knows what. He noticed that two more men entered the room as well. One short with a green jacket, messy black hair, and glasses, and the other a bit taller with dyed blonde hair and piercings.

 _I wonder if those are the teachers. The one with the piercings looks a little scary,_ Hinata thought to himself. But these thoughts were interrupted by the re-entry of Suga and the two girls, with the announcement that dinner was ready to go.

Immediately, Noya and Tanaka were out of their seats and running towards the kitchen, Suga right behind them, berating them and telling them not to touch anything yet. Everyone else also got up, albeit much slower, and made their way over the kitchen and the large table, chatting away.

It took a little while, but eventually everyone had a bowl filled with a classic crowd-pleaser: spaghetti and meatballs. One more person had also joined the fray, who Hinata assumed to be Yamaguchi’s mysterious roommate. He was a tall blonde with glasses and a sharp frown glued to his face. Hinata didn’t really like him.

They all found themselves sitting around the table, eating noodles and continuing to talk. Hinata found himself between Yamaguchi and the girl who had yelled, Yachi. She was a bit shaky, but warmed up to Hinata quickly and the two had a fun time talking. However, during their conversation Hinata couldn’t help but wonder why there was still one empty chair.

“Everyone! Can I have your attention please!” Suga called. His voice was drowned out by the chatter. “Hello?”

“I got this,” Daichi said. He cleared his throat.

“HEY!”

Dead silence immediately.

“The floor is yours Suga,” Daichi said with a smile.

“Thank you Daichi. Now, everyone, I want to first say welcome, or welcome back, to Miyagi University and Karasuno!” Suga said. This was met with a plethora of cheers, applause, and the occasional bang on the table. Suga held his hands out for quiet.

“Now, I know we’re all excited to be here. I know I am. And I know we’re all excited to catch up with friends. But let’s stop the talking for a little bit, and go around and introduce ourselves. We’ll start with your name, year, and whether you’re a music or art focus. Then either tell us the instrument you play or like best, or the art style which you like best. I’ll start!

“My name is Sugawara Koushi, or just Suga, I’m a third year here at Miyagi and I’m a music focus. I play the violin and viola. I’m also one of the RAs here, so if you have any questions or concerns or need anything, come talk to me.” Suga then looked to his left at Daichi, who began to talk.

“My name is Sawamura Daichi, but I prefer Daichi. I’m in my third year as well. I’m an art student with a focus in sculpture. I’m the other RA, so same as Suga said. Any issues, come talk to me.”

They continued down the table, Asahi up next.

“Um, hello. I’m Azumane Asahi, but just Asahi is fine. I’m uh, I’m a third year too, and I’m an art focus as well. I like, well, um, colored pencils, yeah. Th-those are my favorite to work with.” Asahi clearly didn’t really like talking in front of all those people, but Noya still gave him a playful slap on the back. Hinata noted that Asahi spoke in a smooth maroon color.

“I’m Nishinoya Yu! I’m a second year music master, and I love the trumpet!” Noya’s energy still hadn’t gone down, his introduction to everyone just as excited as the one to Hinata.

“I’m Ryunosuke Tanaka! Also a second year music master, and king of percussion!” Tanaka then proceeded to start drumming on the table with a knife and fork, before being stopped by Ennoshita’s hand on his wrist and a glare. He put the fork and knife down.

“I’m Ennoshita Chikara, second year. I’m an art focus and I prefer digital art and design.” Ennoshita’s color and speaking pattern were quite similar to Daichi, Hinata noticed. He had thought about it before, but it was clearer now that they were in the same room.

“Hi, I’m Narita Kazuhito. I’m a second year with a focus in music, and I like playing the flute best.” His voice was a nice yellow-green.

“I’m Kinoshita Hisashi, also a second year, art student. I like charcoal the best.” Kinoshita’s voice was very similar to Yamaguchi’s, but the green was a few shades darker. It was a nice medium green.

Hinata looked to see the next person was the empty chair. Suga very quickly spoke up.

“We’re missing one more person right now, he got delayed, but he’ll be here tonight. Just carry on,” he said. Next was the annoyed looking roommate of Yamaguchi.

“Tsukishima Kei. Music. Piano.” He said in a bored tone. His voice was a dull yellow, flat and short. Hinata wasn’t a huge fan.

“Oh, it’s me! Hi, I’m Yamaguchi Tadashi! I’m an art focus, and my favorite thing to work with is watercolors!” Yamaguchi blurted out. “Oh wait, I'm a first year!” His face was red at the addition. Then it was Hinata’s turn.

“Hi! I’m Hinata Shouyou! I’m a first year artist and I like painting the best!” He said with gusto.

“He-hello, I’m Yachi Hitoka, first year! I’m an art student, and I like digital art and comics! Thank you for having me!” Yachi said, her sentences short and concise and just a bit rushed. 

“Hello, I’m Shimizu Kiyoko. I’m a third year music student, and my favorite instrument is the harp,” Kiyoko said. Her voice was steady and practiced. Across the table, Nishinoya and Tanaka clapped a little too eagerly for her. Then came the teachers. First up was the shorter one with the dark hair.

“Hello everyone! My name is Takeda Ittetsu, and I’ll be your teacher and advisor this year. I’m a music teacher, and I have only been at Karasuno dorm for a few years, but it has been one of my favorite places to stay. If I had to choose an instrument that was my favorite, it would probably be the xylophone. It’s very nice to meet you all!” Takeda smiled warmly at the group. His voice was a rich forest green, and even though he seemed very put together, his voice still seemed to have that anxious edge found in Yamaguchi and Yachi’s colors.

“I’m Ukai Keishin,” The scary piercing teacher started. “I’m an art teacher, and I’m new around here. If I had to pick a medium, probably painting. I’m glad to be here and meet all of you,” he said. Now that was everyone, and they were back around to Suga.

“Well, it’s nice to meet everyone! I’m sure we’re going to have an awesome year here at Karasuno dorm! Now go ahead and continue your eating and conversations,” Suga announced. Like a switch had been flicked, all the conversations started up again, colors flying before Hinata’s eyes.

It was cool to be able to hear from everyone, but there was something still bugging Hinata. That empty chair. Suga had said the boy was held up. Hinata didn’t know why, but he felt a slight pull to that chair. Who was this stranger?

The feeling only lasted a second, as Yachi asked him a question about his paintings and he quickly turned to her, pulled back into the various conversations around the table.

\----------------------------------------------------

It was late. Dinner was long over, dishes washed and put away. The lounge had been slightly cleaned up, a few pillows and blankets scattered around on the floor. That’s to be expected though. The walls of the dorm were quiet now, a juxtaposition from the constant conversations and boisterous voices bouncing around it before. Most everyone was asleep, and even Tanaka and Nishinoya were snoozing away.

Most everyone was asleep.

Hinata Shouyou was not asleep.

He was wide awake, staring at the very uninteresting ceiling. He wasn’t quite sure why he was awake. Usually he was pretty consistent, falling asleep and waking up without any big issues. It was probably the excitement and stress from the big day, he concluded. At least he had a few days until classes started to get himself back into a rhythm.

He checked his phone again, the fifth time in thirty minutes. 2:12AM blinked back at him. No new messages of course, it was two in the morning. Hinata was checking out of habit and boredom, really.

After a seventh time checking his phone, Hinata decided to stretch his legs. Maybe a snack from the kitchen would do him good. Quietly, he slipped out of bed and onto the carpeted floor, bare feet inching carefully towards the door.

Nishinoya shifted and made a noise.

Hinata froze. It would be really rude to wake up his new roommate on the first night. He couldn’t do that! It would be a pretty bad first impression.

A minute passed, and Hinata breathed out again. It seemed like Nishinoya had just shifted over in his sleep. The coast was clear to keep moving towards the door.

Eventually, Hinata made it, turning the handle slowly and deliberately, checking back to Nishinoya every time the door so much as squeaked. It was quite the process, and Hinata felt like he should be singing the Mission Impossible music as he opened the door and slipped out.

Just as slowly, Hinata closed the door, turning the knob back and forth, waiting for the satisfying click to let him know his silent escape had been successful.

_Click._

Hinata could have cheered if that wouldn’t have defeated the whole purpose. He was now free in the hallway to raid the kitchen like a ninja. Proud of his skills, Hinata turned on his heel, tripped, and promptly fell over with a dull thud.

“Owww,” he mumbled into the floor. Okay, so Ninja Shouyou needed some work. He sat up off the floor, rubbing the arm he fell on top of. It was probably going to be bruised, but that was the worst of it. As he sat up completely, he listened for any doors opening. None. He supposed his fall wasn’t very loud anyway, it’s not like anyone would hear it.

At that moment, a door right in front of Hinata opened, hitting him with a sliver of light. It was room nine, the one that had the single guy in it. Hinata looked up, trying to shield his eyes from the sudden light they had to adjust to. Blinking, a figure came into view.

He was backlit, so it wasn’t a perfect image, but Hinata could tell he was tall, and had flat dark hair that covered his forehead. His face wasn’t super easy to see, but even with the strange lights Hinata could tell he was frowning. And then there was his eyes.

Despite the backlight, Hinata could see the stranger’s eyes perfectly. They were a dark blue, piecing into his, squinted slightly in judgement and annoyance. However, Hinata also thought he saw something behind them. A spark. A light. A curiosity.

“Uh, hi.” Hinata started, whispering as quietly as he could while still being heard. “Sorry, did I wake you-” Hinata was cut off as the stranger turned away, closing the door behind him. The hall was dark again, Hinata’s eyes having to readjust.

Sitting on the floor, blinking like an idiot, Hinata went through the last minute. He fell, this random guy opened the door, looked at him, and then closed the door. A little rude if you asked Hinata. However, the image of those deep blue eyes seemed ingrained into Hinata’s brain. He wanted to draw them immediately, and had no idea why.

But it was two am and he didn’t have access to a studio and he didn’t want any more late night issues with other people in the dorm, so any painting would have to wait. Plus, that guy seemed like a jerk.

His eyes finally adjusted, Hinata stood up off the floor, ready to head to the kitchen. Before he started walking again, his eyes drifted back to the door. Light was still peaking in under the door. No sound came from the room. Hinata looked at the center of the door, the piece of paper on it still hung up.

“Kageyama Tobio!” and a doodle of a blueberry.

Kageyama Tobio, huh?

Hinata started to walk down the hall again. His eyes lingered on the paper for a moment though, even as his feet moved him forward.

_Kageyama Tobio._

He wanted to know more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2 y'all! For all those thinking "isn't this a kagehina fic" I promise that they exchange words next chapter. Thanks for reading and for any comments and kudos! Hit me up @squydneyyy on tumblr if ya wanna chat! Have a lovely day, and as always the next update will be within the week!


	3. Critiques and Violin People

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a hard day, Hinata meets the mysterious man from across the hall.

Almost a week later, and still no sign of the elusive Kageyama Tobio. His door always seemed to be closed, and Hinata was never able to catch him coming in or out. He was never there for group game nights or activities. He didn’t come around for group dinner. However, there were the occasional signs of him. A noise from the room. The milk in the kitchen being gone faster than usual. A door opening at random late hours.

It was like having a ghost in the dorm.

For some reason, Hinata’s mind was still stuck on this particular ghost. Though his week was filled with activities, class sign-ups, club fairs, and more, late at night his thoughts would drift to the strange silhouette he caught one night.

However, his thoughts were about to be taken over by classes. School was finally in session.

It was quite exciting to walk into one of the Miyagi studios for the first time. The smell of paint and the old splatters on the floor and walls that have been there for far too long. Each student got their own station that was theirs to use for the next four years. It was open to them 24/7, allowing night owls and early birds alike to create whenever inspiration struck. It was one of the things that made Miyagi somewhere Hinata wanted to go. Now, sitting at his own station, he could barely contain his excitement.

The other classes were just as engaging. Classes in sketching, still life, painting, and even sculpting were on the agenda, ranging from the extremely basic classes to more intermediate classes depending on what arts you were better at. Hinata was enraptured with all the different people and styles he saw around him. It was like living in an artists’ dream.

Which of course meant that one day, reality would rear its ugly head.

School had been in session for a week and a half when one of Hinata’s teachers asked them to bring in a work. It can be something old or something new, anything they want. She wanted to give them their first critique, simply to get them used to the idea and understanding how it will work in the future. She also warned that she wouldn’t be holding back.

Hinata was a bit nervous after hearing that. He had never had any professional art classes or teachers, and the most critique he got was from Yamaguchi, who was usually nice to the point of it not really being a critique as much as a compliment session. He knew critiques were meant to help you improve, but he had been improving just fine on his own! At least, he hoped.

The day of the critique, Hinata realized he had been underestimating his nerves. He felt a bit sick, and constantly needed to go to the bathroom that morning. Of course, other people in the dorm noticed. He was sitting in the lounge with Suga, Daichi, and Yachi when Suga spoke up.

“Hinata, that’s the third time you’ve had to go to the bathroom,” he said, eating some of the community cereal between sentences. “Plus, I haven’t seen you eat anything and I know you have class in like, thirty minutes. What’s up?”

“It’s nothing Suga!” Hinata hastily replied. Suga raised an eyebrow.

“Really? It’s nothing?” Suga said, clearly not convinced that it was nothing. Hinata shriveled under Suga’s stare.

“Okay, fine, I have my first critique today and I’m nervous!” Hinata squeaked out. Daichi turned at his words.

“Oh, I remember my first critique. I’m sure you’ll be fine Hinata, everyone gets critiqued at some point or another and it’s meant to help you get better,” Daichi said.

“Yeah! It’s not that bad, as long as no one is really mean. Oh gosh, what if someone is mean?” Yachi said.

“Are people usually mean?” Hinata nervously replied.

“We-well, not usually! Usually they’re super nice and supportive! But there was this one time I had this teacher who was really awful, she made me cry! I’m just happy I got that over with though, and it’ll probably be the exact same as the other art classes you may have taken,” Yachi said.

“I haven’t taken any art classes before.”

There was some silence at that remark.

“It’s pretty impressive that you got here without a single art class,” Daichi said, breaking the silence. “It’s nothing to worry about Hinata, you’ll be fine.”

“Daichi’s right. Now you better eat and run because you’re gonna be late,” Suga added, taking his bowl over to the sink. Hinata quickly checked the time on his phone, yelped, grabbed an energy bar, and ran to his room to get his piece and other supplies, yelling hasty goodbyes to everyone in the room.

As he stepped out the door and started making his way across campus, he felt his knees shake. What did his mom always say to him when he was like this? His mind traveled back to the times when he hated his work and felt like he was never improving. She always told him the same thing:

_Shouyou, take a deep breath, and remember: you are good._

So Hinata took a deep breath. In, and out. He had made it Miyagi. He had made tons of paintings and drawings over the years. He was just as talented as everyone else, and he was going to make it through critique and improve and get better.

He was good.

\----------------------------------------------------

Hinata Shouyou was not, in fact, good.

He had just gotten out of class and beelined towards the dorm, going straight to his room and shutting the door behind him before the tears started. Critique was not what he was expecting.

He had brought in the last thing he made for his portfolio, the piece of his family on the hill. He didn’t think it was that bad, but the teacher dug into every little thing. The proportions of the people, the perspective, the lighting, the colors, the shading, everything! He felt like he had gotten the longest critique out of everyone in class. Just sitting there, for like, thirty minutes, hearing everything wrong with his artwork from every other person in the class and then a special extra long one from the teacher.

How was he supposed to feel good about his art after that?

Through tears, he hung the painting back on the wall where he had it originally. He wasn’t going to let his teacher win, wasn’t going to throw it in the corner or under the bed. It still had his family on it, it was still important to him.

Even so, Hinata found himself looking away from the painting rather quickly, his eyes landing on every mistake every time he saw it now.

Without any other classes that day to fill his time, Hinata thought maybe a nap was in order. It was a little past one pm, so Hinata closed the curtains to the afternoon sun, shut the lights off, and burrowed under his blanket. Crying is quite draining, after all.

\---------------------------------------------------- 

When Hinata blinked his eyes open, it was dark. Well, darker. He inched out from under the blanket, coming into his now pitch-black dorm room. Nishinoya was sound asleep. He sat up at the sound of a door close by opening and closing, but it wasn’t his. Probably just someone out to get a late night snack.

Thinking about snacks made Hinata’s stomach rumble. He realized in that moment that he had barely had breakfast, and skipped lunch and dinner for his extremely long afternoon nap. Hinata blinked at the harsh light of his phone screen, squinting at the time displayed. _12:37 am_. Great. He had really slept for a long while.

Maybe he needed it. He hadn’t really been sleeping well the week before, always a little too antsy to sleep, and then with classes he was up early and went to bed late. It was nice to get some rest in, rather than constantly working and doing things.

However, now that he was awake, he really wanted to be constantly working and doing things. A rumbling pulled Hinata out of his thoughts.

Right. Food.

Using the ninja sneaking skills he had perfected on the first night, Hinata successfully creeped out of the room and into the hallway. Walking into the lounge, he was surprised to find a lamp on and a note on the table.

_Hinata!_ It read in Suga’s swirly font, _we saw you were sleeping and thought it was best to just let you sleep. But! I did save you some food! I knew the mess halls would be closed by the time you woke up. Heat it up, but don’t let the microwave beep! Have a good night :) ~ Suga_

Hinata smiled at the note, and grabbed the bowl of what seemed to be some kind of soup to heat up. Following the note’s instructions, he made sure to stop the microwave right at one second, keeping the loud beeping from waking anyone else up. He then sat down, blowing on the bowl and grabbing a spoon on his way to the table.

It was a very strange feeling, eating soup at almost one in the morning all alone in a semi-dark room. Oh well, college was a first time for everything.

Once he had (quietly) finished the rest of his soup, Hinata put the bowl in the sink as he thought about the day before. Why had he taken a nap again?

Well, that morning, he was eating a power bar, and he had to rush to class because he was talking to Suga and Daichi and Yachi, and he kept having to go to the bathroom too, all because he was nervous for- oh.

Critique.

Hinata couldn’t believe he had forgotten, a rush of emotions hitting him square in the chest. He remembered all the student’s eyes picking apart his piece. His teacher’s highlighter yellow voice blinding him with her criticisms and opinions. Tears picked at the corners of his eyes, but they didn’t fall.

Rather than sadness, Hinata’s emotions had given way to frustration. He felt antsy and wanted to rant at someone or punch a pillow or something. And whenever he felt like that, Hinata knew what he had to do.

Racing out of the dorm, Hinata breathed in the nice cool night air, appreciating the feeling as it hit his face. He then made his way, determined, to the art studios. That was the benefit of Miyagi. His own space in one of the studios, available 24/7 with the swipe of his key card.

\---------------------------------------------------- 

Hinata approached the studio building and let himself in. It was a long hallway with a bunch of different doors leading to different types of studios on both sides. Each room fit four to six students, depending on the room. This studio was also very unique for a different reason: the rooms on the right were actually studios for the music students. Because no classes were taught in these buildings and they were purely for practice or creating new pieces, the school thought it was fine to combine one of the buildings into both art and music. Most of the others weren’t like that, but the rooms worked out weirdly, so this particular one was a combo. Some students found it annoying, others thought it was cool to hear the music flowing in, inspiring even.

Hinata found it to be a mix of the two. Yes, it was cool to hear the music and see all the different colors, but it could be annoying to be paining green and hearing blue. However, at night, the building was almost always blissfully quiet.

Hinata made his way down to his studio, thinking about what he would create. He was mad. Upset. Frustrated. He was thinking about aggressive brush strokes, bright colors that wouldn’t let you look away. He wanted to capture his feelings on the canvas.

But something stopped him.

Almost to his studio, Hinata was stopped by the careful crowing of a violin.

_Huh,_ Hinata thought. _One of the music students must be here too._

The music drifted through the hall, and Hinata closed his eyes, letting it wash over him. The colors still danced in front of his closed eyes, a soft array of colors spinning and swirling, melding together and melting off of each other.

Hinata had never really listened to classical music. He didn’t know it looked like… this. Abruptly, a color that seemed slightly off appeared, and the music suddenly stopped. The silence pulled him out of his stupor and he blinked. Quietly, he continued his trek down the hall, towards both his studio space and the previous sound.

As he opened the door, the sound started again. The same song, being played just as elegantly and perfectly as before. It sounded difficult, not that Hinata knew anything about how easy or hard it was to play music. Again, Hinata let the beautiful colors paint themselves in front of his eyes. He sighed. All the previous frustration he had was melting away. Music always relaxed him, allowing him to see new colors and come up with new ideas. He couldn’t believe he hadn’t listened to any before.

Opening his eyes, Hinata made his way into the art room, keeping the door open. Despite much of the anger being gone, the itch to paint was something much harder to keep away. And now there was something new, different, and beautiful in the form of a violin making its way through the open door.

Hinata began to describe his sight with brush strokes. Calm, steady, and even, the colors were a rainbow that faded into each other smoothly. He remembered a piece he had tried to make months prior, the colors covering each other and coming out mangled and brown. This wasn’t like that. He was almost painting with his eyes closed.

The scene morphed itself into something radiant. The iridescent and constantly changing wings of some mystical butterfly. Hinata noted the strong greens and purples as stems and flowers, leaving the rest of the colors floating aimlessly in the wings.

Eventually, the last note of the violin stretched into the corridor, leaving a silence that was not necessarily unwelcome. The song could not go on forever, Hinata knew this. The end was almost a part of the piece itself. Still, he was sad to see it go.

Wiping his brow, Hinata took a step back to see what he created.

A large butterfly sat delicately on a purple flower, the colors in its wings almost moving despite the still image. The colors all melted perfectly into each other, like it was meant to be. Hinata supposed it was, music had that effect. Songs of any kind, the colors just seemed to work out.

The door across the hall opened, causing Hinata to jump. Quickly he raced out of his corner of the room and towards the art room door, hoping to catch the mystery musician. He had to at least show them what he made. And hey, maybe they could be friends!

Skidding into the hallway, Hinata caught sight of the back of a retreating figure, tall with black hair and a stiff, heavy walk. He squinted. This figure was familiar, sort of, but he couldn’t quite place it. Instead, he yelled.

“HEY! VIOLIN PERSON!”

The so-called violin person turned around sharply at the words. Hinata almost gasped when he saw the man’s face. It was in the shape of some sort of permanent frown. He would recognize those blue eyes anywhere.

“Kageyama Tobio! The single room guy!” 

“... Aren’t you the idiot who tripped on nothing last week?”

Hinata squawked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> backstreet's back ALRIGHT  
> I hope y'all enjoyed that chapter, and I did say last time that they technically would talk this chapter. And they did. But don't worry, next chapter has plenty of dumb conversations between the lads.  
> Thank you for any and all comments and kudos! If you wanna chat, hit me up @squydneyyy on tumblr!  
> As always, I'll be updating within the week, so look out for a new chapter before next Wednesday! Thank you for reading! <3


	4. Forest Fires and Late Night Painting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The two boys finally actually talk, and maybe start to work together

Hinata and Kageyama faced off in the hallway.

“It’s rude that you say that! You didn’t even help me up that time!” Hinata said, annoyed.

“Well you tripped, you can get up,” Kageyama responded, an odd angry twinge in his voice. His words were a dark blue, matching his eyes. However, unlike the calm ocean Hinata associates with the color, it was choppy and icy.

“Still rude!” Hinata crossed his arms, feeling unusually confrontational. “I haven’t seen you at all around the dorms. You’re worrying Suga, being all holed up like that. What’s your deal?”

“None of your business dumbass. Is that all you’re here to tell me?”

“Well, actually no. I was here to paint, and I heard you playing, and I wanted to see who you were, and then it was you, Kageyama Tobio, single room guy!”

Kageyama’s eye twitched,

“How do you know my name anyway shorty?”

“Okay, firstly I’m not that short!”

“You’re short.”

“And secondly! Your name is on your door and you’re the only person I haven’t met in the dorm and your door is always closed and I never see you come in or out so I was curious and I remember your face from that time I fell over in the hallway and you didn’t even help me up so I recognized you and your name!”

“Oh.”

They stood, looking at each other for a moment. Then Kageyama turned to leave.

“Wait!” Hinata called out. He didn’t know why, Kageyama had been pretty rude, but he felt like he should at least see the painting.

“What?” Kageyama replied sharply.

“Well, when I heard you playing I got inspired to make a painting, and I think you should see it. Even though you have been very rude and called me short, I’ll still let you see.”

Once again, a silence hung between them. Then Kageyama turned to leave again.

“It’s probably a pretty boring painting,” he said as he walked away. And Hinata was too surprised to stop him, the door falling softly closed.

It wasn’t the painting comment that surprised him. It was Kageyama’s voice.

Now Hinata has seen this a lot, the texture and feel of a voice he sees changing depending on tone or feeling. He’d seen Suga’s light blue become sharp as ice when he demanded Noya and Tanaka stop doing whatever life-threatening kitchen-ruining thing they were about to do. Yamaguchi’s light green stiffened up and was more choppy-looking talking to someone he didn’t know. There were subtle changes in their actual voices, but Hinata’s synesthesia could tell tones apart pretty well.

And Kageyama’s voice at the end wasn't as sharp or stormy like before. 

Hinata wanted to know why.

\---------------------------------------------------- 

The next few days Hinata found himself too busy to go back to his studio at night again. His sleep schedule became more regular and he still had assignments to do. Even still, his mind continued to drift back to Kageyama in the hallway in the music room.

He was surrounded by musicians, they practiced in the lounge and around the school every day. But Kageyama’s violin playing still looked the nicest, the most vibrant. Hinata missed it. Plus, he continued to be curious about Kageyama himself.

“Suga, what’s the deal with Kageyama?” he asked bluntly one day. 

“What do you mean?”

“Well, he never comes and hangs out, he’s always stuck up in his room and he has his own room and he’s really rude, he called me short right to face when we barely even knew each other!”

“You are short,” Tsukishima piped up from the corner. “And you never see him around because the king doesn’t like to be among the common folk.”

“Tsukishima!” Suga scolded, but Tsukishima didn’t look perturbed, continuing to read some random book on music theory or something. Hinata could’ve cared less about what he was reading. It was about what he was saying.

“King?” Hinata asked.

“Hinata, let’s not gossip about Kageyama, okay?” Suga asked nicely.

“Just google him shrimp,” Tsukishima once again cut in. Suga glared at him, but Tsukishima hadn’t even looked up from his book. Suga turned back to Hinata.

“Hinata, I don’t know everything about Kageyama. I know he’s had a bit of a… rough time, and that he needs his own space. Try to be nice, okay?”

“Okay, I guess,” Hinata grumbled. Suga smiled at him, and Hinata retreated back into his own dorm. But he still googled Kageyama.

There were a few articles about a “Kageyama Tobio.” They were mostly about how he was some sort of violin prodigy, destined for greatness by high school. Hinata raised an eyebrow. _Then why was he here?_

It wasn’t that Miyagi wasn’t a good school. But it wasn’t a music-only school and there were some better ones, ones for the so-called prodigies of the world. It was strange that Kageyama would go here if these articles were to be believed.

Scrolling more, Hinata didn’t find much. A prodigy, went to Kitagawa Daiichi, a school for gifted musicians, in high school. Then, nothing. Like he existed one day and then didn’t. The “King” nickname still wasn’t explained through the google search, but at least he had something to talk about next time he caught Kageyama.

Which, as it turned out, would be pretty soon.

\---------------------------------------------------- 

Another day, another critique bringing Hinata down.

He was frustrated. He knew this was a hard school, knew they weren’t gonna baby him, but still. He had never taken any professional art classes, could no one cut him some slack? He thought his technique was just fine, thanks. Even after lights out, Hinata was itching with the need to get the energy out of him. Once again, he found himself sneaking to his corner of the studio.

And once again, he heard music.

It was a different song from last time, it seemed to be a lot faster and more angry. The colors all came rushing by, making Hinata feel like he had to dodge them or he’d get struck down by an angry streak of plum or cactus green. It made Hinata think of a colorful fire overtaking a calm wood. Fast and unforgiving, racing through the trees with ferocity.

Hinata had to paint it.

It was the same thing as last time. The music invigorated him, inspired him, put images in his head. The school assignments had dragged, giving him less freedom than he wanted. His inspiration had felt like it was empty. Then the music came and it was like a switch was flipped.

Hinata had to admit, this piece would be a little… abstract. He was painting almost with the music, his hands not quite moving fast enough to capture the notes. It was messy, but still bright and colorful and lively. It was like the colorful fire was burning right through the canvas.

Breathing hard, Hinata almost didn’t hear the music stop, so caught up in his own world of color. He started to add finishing touches, unaware of the door opening on the other side of the hall, and a figure in the doorway.

“You again?” 

Hinata jumped at the words, leaning out from behind his canvas to see Kageyama again. Immediately he scrambled to his side.

“Don’t run away again! I don’t care what you think, I want you to look at what I made!” Hinata was like an excited puppy, grabbing a surprised and unwilling Kageyama by the arm and dragging him over to the canvas.

“See! Look, this was what you were playing tonight!” Hinata proudly proclaimed. Kageyama looked at the piece. He said nothing.

“Oh, and this was that last time!” Hinata said, pointing to the side. The butterfly was still there, wings of color taking up the whole canvas in a shimmering rainbow. Kageyama stared at that too, blinking. The angry look that usually overtook his face had softened slightly, replaced with something vaguely confused.

“Oi, Kageyama? What do you think? Cool, right?” Hinata was practically bouncing up and down to get Kageyama’s opinion. Still, he said nothing.

“Stupidyama! Stop staring at them, what do you think?” This seemed to bring Kageyama back to reality, as he balked at the nickname.

“Stupidyama? Really, dumbass?”

“Oh, and dumbass is the best you can come up with?”

“Shithead!”

“So vulgar Kageyama!”

Kageyama flicked Hinata in the back of the head at that, to which Hinata yelped and protested, an evil smile on Kageyama’s face.

“Do you even like the paintings Stupidyama?” Hinata finally asked. There was a slight edge to his voice, just a hint of nerves, and well, he was nervous. Critique sucked, and now he could be setting himself up to get torn down again.

Kageyama once again looked at the paintings.

“These are… this is my music, you said?” Kageyama asked, still seemingly transfixed by the paintings.

“Yeah! I have synesthesia, so I can see what the music looks like for real, and then paint it! Usually it looks really pretty, though one time when you messed up the colors looked all wonky, I didn’t paint that though, plus it was only one time which is pretty impressive, not that I know anything about music,” Hinata rambled.

“You can tell when I messed up?” Hinata looked up at Kageyama’s words, seeing Kageyama looking back at him. _Telling when he messed up? That’s what he focused on?_ Thought Hinata. But he responded anyway.

“Yeah, I mean I couldn’t really hear it, the piece sounded complicated that time, but I could see it!”

“Hm.” That was the only response Kageyama gave, before looking back at the paintings. Hinata waiting anxiously.

“They’re nice,” Kageyama finally said.

“Really? You think so?”

“I guess. I’m not an artist.”

Hinata ignored that last comment, choosing to focus on the “it’s nice” said before.

“I know they’re a little sloppy, but I haven’t been this inspired ever before! I never really heard classical music so it was a whole new experience and I just had to paint it! I mean just like you’re not an artist I’m not really a musician, but I think you’re pretty good, everything sounds really nice and I only heard you mess up once! That’s pretty amazing!”

Kageyama seemed stuck in place at Hinata’s words, face showing a faint blush.

“You’ve only heard me twice,” he mumbled.

“Well, I think twice is enough! Plus aren’t you some prodigy or something?”

“What?” Kageyama turned sharply towards Hinata. “What do you know about that?” Hinata took a step back, Kageyama’s eyes intense.

“Nothing really! Just something Tsukishima said about you and he told me to google it, but I didn’t really find anything interesting, just that you were a prodigy, nothing about that king nickname!” Hinata held his arms up as he went through his words quickly. However, Kageyama tensed up even more at the word _king._

“Don’t call me king,” he said lowly. At that, Hinata found himself tilting his head, confused.

“Why? I wish I had a cool nickname like that!” Kageyama frowned even harder than before, which Hinata didn’t think was possible.

“Whatever. It’s late. I’m leaving.” With that, Kageyama turned, stomping towards the art room door.

“Wait!” Hinata called out. Surprisingly, it worked. Kageyama stopped, but didn’t face him. “Are you here at night all the time?” Kageyama didn’t answer at first, considering it. Eventually, he spoke.

“Usually, yeah.”

“Cool! I’ll visit you more often then!”

“You’ll- what?” Kageyama finally turned around, extremely confused by Hinata’s words.

“Well, these paintings are cool and fun to make and I like your music, so I’ll keep coming back!” Hinata was unperturbed by Kageyama’s confusion, anger, or reluctance. They had one more stare off, Hinata’s excitement winning out overall. Kageyama turned away again.

“Fine. I don’t care.” He took more steps to the door, but stopped short right before leaving. “You know, I didn’t write those pieces. I’m just playing other people’s work.”

Hinata considered this for a second. He didn’t really understand why Kageyama was bringing it up, but he responded anyway,

“Well, maybe they weren’t written by you, but I assume everyone plays kind of different, right? So it’s still yours, in a way. Like, in art, we can all draw the same bowl of fruit but everyone’s looks different right? I guess it’s something like that in music too.”

Silence stood between them, which Hinata expected. Even he wasn’t ready for how eloquent his response was. Maybe it was the sleep deprivation. Then, without a word, Kageyama rushed out of the room and down the hall, leaving.

Hinata looked at the spot he had just stood. He didn’t know why or what it was, but something was telling him to come back again. He wanted to see the colors, hear the music echoing in the empty moonlit halls. Shaking his head, he began to clean up his paints. And as he did, he began planning when he could next afford to drop by at 2am.

\---------------------------------------------------- 

It was actually sooner than Hinata thought. A cool Wednesday evening and an art assignment due the next day that hadn’t even been started brought Hinata down to the art room once again, hoping that inspiration in the form of Kageyama Tobio’s violin playing would hit him.

It wasn’t as late as usual, maybe 11:30pm, but Hinata hadn’t seen any light coming under the door from Kageyama’s room. He doubted Kageyama was asleep. Or at least hoped he wasn’t asleep.

A smattering of people walked around the campus in the dark, some holding large portfolio cases and others dragging instrument cases along behind them. It made Hinata smile to see artists and musicians all around him all the time. It made him feel like he belonged there.

Coming up to the door, Hinata saw a few other people in the halls.

_Drat, I doubt Kageyama will be playing with all these people around,_ thought Hinata. He has assumed Kageyama played in the middle of the night to avoid people hearing him or something like that.

He didn’t recognize most of the people in the hall, but he got a glimpse of one of his dormmates, Kinoshita, in one of the art rooms. There were only a few people still working, many Hinata passing by leaving the building. When he arrived at his room, he was surprised to see Yachi there at her station.

“Hey Yachi!” Hinata greeted her with a smile. Yachi jumped at the greeting, Hinata’s voice surprising her out of her work.

“Oh! Hi Hinata!” She nervously replied. Hinata made his way over to Yachi, checking out the pieces at her station. There weren’t too many around, unlike the colorful chaos of Hinata’s workspace.

“Whatcha working on? Ooo that looks cool!” Hinata pointed at a drawing Yachi was working on. It was a simple piece in pencil that looked to be a face. It was… okay. Well, actually it was pretty bad. But Hinata didn’t tell Yachi that.

“Really? You like it? I was really used to drawing cartoons and digitally so this class in realistic drawing on paper has been tough. I’m learning a lot though!” 

Hinata smiled as Yachi’s cotton candy pink swirled around in the air, light and relaxing. Very different from her panicked first entrance into the dorms.

“Yeah Yachi! It looks awesome! I think you could fix this part though…” Hinata leaned down and began pointing out a few areas that he thought she could work on, like the shading on the nose. As soon as he said it though, he jumped away.

“Not that this is bad or anything! I didn’t mean to offend you!” Hinata hastily said, scrambling for words. He of all people knew how much it sucked to have your hard work torn down, he didn’t want Yachi to feel that way. However, Yachi simply smiled.

“It’s okay Hinata! I know I’m not super great at realistic stuff like this yet, especially on paper! Your tips are actually really helpful,” she replied.

“Oh. Well that’s good!” Hinata said, but he still felt a bit nervous. “Well, I’ll leave you to your drawing!”

Hinata left Yachi erasing some pencil marks and went over to his own station by the door. He heard the occasional whisper of some music, but all the music doors were shut. Kageyama usually left his open.

Standing in front of the canvas, Hinata looked right at it. It looked right back. This continued for a minute. Hinata picked up a brush. Then put it down. Picked another one up. Put it down. Reached for some colors, but stopped his hand right before they touched the paints.

“Ugh! Yachi, I don’t know what to paint,” Hinata whined. Yachi looked up from her paper. It had only been two minutes since Hinata left her station. She laughed to herself at his impatience.

“Well Hinata, what’s the assignment?”

“It’s something about using color creatively in a landscape piece, but I just can’t find any inspiration! The landscapes around here aren’t particularly colorful, I guess? And what does that even mean, use color creatively? Like use it weirdly? Or make it more colorful? Or maybe less colorful?”

“I mean, maybe all of those are right? I think it’s whatever you want it to be? When I first started making my own pieces, I tried to just look around the room to see what I saw!”

_Look around the room. Hm._

Hinata looked left. Looked right. There were art pieces everywhere, in varying degrees of completion. The walls were stained with faded paint splatters, likely from the more abstract artists or someone doing a Jackson Pollock homage. Each station had different materials, some with tons of charcoal whereas others were littered with pencil shavings from sharpening colored pencils, still others with trash bins full of dried out markers.

Hinata turned back to his canvas.

Nothing.

“UGH! Yachi that didn’t work! What am I gonna doooo,” Hinata once again whined, pouting at the blank canvas.

“Hm, well, is there anything else around at all? Maybe just choose a particular color you like or something, I did this one piece inspired by this tree I saw because I really liked the green so I did it all in green, though in retrospect it looks really weird and bad I was still learning I guess, and I still am, I mean look at this drawing here.” Yachi continued to ramble on, but Hinata caught himself paying more attention to her voice than her.

“Yachi that’s it! Thanks!” Hinata yelled to her, excitement taking over. Yachi jumped back at the loud noise. Hinata immediately turned around and grabbed paints and brushes, throwing color up on the canvas. Yachi could only scratch the back of her head with a nervous smile.

“Glad I could help Hinata!”

Hinata began to swirl his brush all over the canvas, priming it and then grabbing colors he wanted to use. He mixed reds and whites until he was happy with the shade of soft pink on his brush. Lightly, he began the real work.

Eventually, Yachi left, saying a quiet goodbye to Hinata, though she knew he was in “the zone” as he and Nisinoya liked to call it, and probably wouldn’t respond, too caught up in his work. The halls emptied themselves out, lights flicking off in every studio except two.

One occupied by Hinata, putting the finishing touches on a piece.

The other across the hall, door wide open.

Hinata finally took a moment to look at the painting. It was pretty good so far, if he did say so himself. Which he did.

The top half of the canvas was dominated by a beautiful swirling pink sky. The clouds were soft and textured, looking like floating cotton candy with softer wisps occasionally flying by. It was a lot softer than usual. Hinata had taken more time on this one than usual. However, it was the lower half of the painting that was more concerning.

Because there was nothing there.

Yachi’s voice had inspired the candy clouds floating above. Hinata thought that was a creative use of color. But he couldn’t quite manage to figure out what went below. It was a landscape after all, he needed land.

Sighing, Hinata sat down on his stool. He looked to the windows at the top of the room, seeing the pitch black sky. He didn’t hear anything. What time was it?

Looking at his phone, 2:12 AM blinked in harsh white.

Oops.

Hinata stretched his arms and legs, looking like a starfish on the stool. He would just need a lot more coffee than he thought to make it through the next day. Or, the current day? Hinata rubbed his eyes, and then looked back at the painting.

He just needed some kind of ground. He could go simple and make it just rolling hills, maybe the clouds would speak for themselves? But that seemed too simple. A beach? No, also wrong, the sand would just be bad. The ideas weren’t terrible, just off The pink was so striking that boring green or pale yellow would really throw it off. It needed to be a little more… magical? That feels like the wrong word.

Hinata was thrown out of his spiraling thoughts about hills and words when he heard something very familiar. Soft music flooding the halls. This song was slower, the notes taking their time to reach Hinata’s ears. This song seemed to have a very distinct color palette.

The colors flowed languidly together, deep and rich blues mingling with lighter lavenders and sky shades. It reminded Hinata of water, lakes, but also of the moment right after the sun sets when it’s like the world is bathed in a darker color than before.

Hinata’s eyes flew open, having closed by themselves.

“KAGEYAMA!” He yelled out. The nice easy notes sharply diverged, a shocking red of a misstep seen. Then Hinata heard footsteps, and a figure stomped into the art studio.

“Dumbass! I was in the middle of a piece!” Kageyama barked out, brandishing his violin bow at Hinata.

“Play it here!” Hinata said, completely unperturbed by the angry shouting

“Huh?”

“Play it here Stupidyama! I want to see it better!”

Kageyama looked extremely surprised at the statement, but after a moment, he surprisingly relented. With a still angry look on his face, Kageyama put the violin under his chin and began to play once more.

Hinata drank it in. It was better than before, so up close and personal, the colors practically melting in front of him in a display of artistry no artist could ever achieve. Overrun by the colors, Hinata began to paint.

Kageyama didn’t seem to notice Hinata’s flurried movements over brushes and paints, caught up in his own world of music. Elegant blues and purples danced off of Hinata’s paintbrush, his hand subconsciously moving in time with the music. The two artists, not even looking at each other, were perfectly in sync.

The world may have moved around them, but they couldn’t have cared less. They were trapped in their own little bubble of music and art. Kageyama could almost hear the sound of Hinata’s brush falling across the canvas in time with his bow running across the strings.

It was like no time had passed at all when Kageyama played the haunting last note and Hinata’s brush finally left the canvas for good. Both of them were brought back to reality when Hinata tripped over his stool trying to step backwards.

“Shut up!” Hinata yelled when Kageyama snickered at his blunder. A paintbrush hit Kageyama’s forehead with a small ‘whap’ and Kageyama angrily whipped it back at Hinata, who dodged it just in time.

“Kageyama rude!” Hinata said, sticking out his tongue. He turned away from Kageyama’s ever-permanent frown and back to his art piece.

A large lake in the middle of a field of grass blowing gently in the wind had taken over the bottom of the canvas. The colors were quite different from the average field however, the grass overtaken by dark blue and hints of light blue highlights, the lake a gentle purple with smudges of pink barely reflecting the sky above. It looked like the world on the cusp of the sun.

“Wow,” Hinata breathed. It was beautiful.

“Is that this song?” Kageyama wondered, having suddenly appeared at Hinata’s side. Hinata jumped in surprise, much to Kageyama’s amusement, but regained himself.

“Well, the top part isn’t, that was a different thing, but the whole bottom is, the lake and the grass and all that!”

Kageyama stared at it.

“You’re sure?”

“Uh yeah? I painted it of course I’m sure!” Hinata said, poking Kageyama in the side. “The teacher is gonna think this is so cool! The ones I painted from your other songs weren’t for any project so I didn’t turn them in or anything.”

Kageyama still stood looking at the paintings, seeming enrapt like he did last time he looked at the work Hinata had made. And Hinata really couldn’t blame him. The pieces he made when listening to Kageyama had a certain edge to them he was lacking in the other projects he was doing in school. For so much of his time as an artist, his best work had been from the heart, and emotions were at the center of it. But in school, he found so much of that heart slipping away as he tried to be more technical. However, in the pieces he made with Kageyama, he could feel the emotion again. It was like they were alive.

“Kageyama, are you gonna be here on Friday night?” Hinata suddenly asked, surprising even himself.

“Yes?” Kageyama replied, confused. Hinata brightened as his response.

“Perfect! I’ll be here too, so bring a new song to play! I have a project due next Friday!” Hinata then began to clean off his brushes, humming the tune Kageyama was playing, though he was not great at it.

Kageyama stood stark still, frozen in the room, before his signature scowl returned.

“Whatever dumbass,” he replied, and stalked out of the room. Hinata only smiled. Though his words were harsh, his colors said otherwise. The dark blue was silky smooth, washing over Hinata like a freshwater lake or a waterfall. He couldn’t wait for Friday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo! Thanks for reading another chapter! I'm super excited for where we're going with the story, so hopefully y'all stick around! Comments and kudos are super super appreciated!! As always, look for chapter 5 within the week!


	5. Comfort Paintings and Uno Games

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yachi meets Kageyama, and Kageyama learns Uno.

Hinata skipped out of Karasuno dorm on Friday night with a shouted promise to Suga that he wouldn’t stay out too late. Suga wasn’t happy when Hinata was falling asleep in his cereal Thursday morning after staying up to almost five in the morning painting. He was ordered to take a nap after class and wasn’t allowed to paint past ten on Thursday. Suga really was a mother hen.

However, he relented and let Hinata go on Friday when Hinata told him he was meeting Kageyama. Suga’s eyebrows rose up so high Hinata thought they were going to fly away. It made sense though. Kageyama was rarely seen or heard from, even by the RAs who worked hard to talk to everyone and make sure they were ok. If Hinata could get through to Kageyama, well, that couldn’t be a bad thing.

As it was Friday, there were more students in the studios working on projects. He heard a faint yellow melody from a nearby piano as he passed by. Luckily, the room he was stationed in was pretty much empty. Except for-

“Yachi!” Hinata happily bounded in to say hi to his friend.

“Oh, Hinata! Wow, we’re here at the same time a lot!” she said, smiling up at him.

“Whoa, what’s that?” Hinata pointed at the tablet in Yachi’s hand, where she was doodling something.

“Nothing really! Just a comic I was working on for a project, it’s not really anything exciting or important…” Yachi trailed off, rubbing the back of her neck sheepishly. Hinata read the cute font on the screen, declaring the comic title: _The Tales of Townsperson B_.

“What’s it about?” Hinata asked.

“You really want to know? Wow, um, so it’s about the adventures of the background character in a story, where all these events are happening all around them. Like, a different perspective, what does a sweeping heroic tale look like from the view of the shopkeeper, you know? It’s nothing crazy, just an idea.”

“That sounds so cool Yachi! You’ll let me read it when you’re done, right!”

“O-of course!” Hinata gave Yachi a huge smile, before surveying the room again. Empty except for them.

“Hey Yachi, why are you working in the studio if you have all your supplies and stuff on your tablet?”

“Um, well, it’s like with the pencil drawings I was doing a few days ago. I could do them at the dorm, but I focus better here. Plus, it’s nice to be surrounded by so many different pieces of art. A few other artists dropped in too, I didn’t really recognize anyone from our dorm, but it was cool to see them working. Inspirational, even!”

“That’s a good point Yachi! It’s like me listening to the music people, it’s so cool to be surrounded by all this!” Hinata was practically jumping up and down, Yachi smiling at his infectious excitement.

Then Yachi suddenly froze with terror. An aura had entered the room, brooding and dark. Hinata turned to see what she was so scared of.

“Oh Kageyama! You’re here!”

Kageyama was standing in the doorway, his signature frown on his lips. He gave off a vibe that said _Don’t talk to me_ , but softened a little bit as Hinata ran up to him. Yachi was still frozen in her chair.

“Kageyama, did you pick a new song? I can’t wait to hear it, it’s gonna be amazing, I’m gonna paint like _swoosh and blam_! And you’re gonna play like waa! Awesome!” Hinata made gestures of swinging a paintbrush around and very poorly playing a violin to accompany his sound effects.

“Whatever dumbass,” Kageyama replied, but still walked past Hinata to where he stood last time, and began to tune his violin, playing a few notes and adjusting his fingers and the knobs on the end.

Hinata went to join him, but then saw a shaking head of blond hair out of the corner of his eye.

“Ah I forgot to introduce you! Yachi this is Kageyama! Yama, this is Yachi, she stays at our dorm, she’s a digital artist! She’s making a really cool comic!”

“Hey,” Kageyama said, barely looking up.

“H-h-hi!” Yachi managed to squeak out. Then she promptly hid under her desk. Kageyama paid her no mind, but Hinata laughed and walked over to her.

“Yachi, don’t be scared of stupidyama, I know he has a mean face but he isn’t that bad,”

“Shut up!” Kageyama shouted. Hinata only smiled at him.

“It’s true though! You have a mean face but you play really cool music!” Kageyama blushed just slightly at Hinata’s excitement towards his playing, but quickly turned away, frown fixing itself back in place.

“Let’s just go already,” he mumbled. Hinata turned back to Yachi, crouching down. His smile had turned slightly mischievous, and he was practically vibrating with excitement.

“Just watch and listen to this, Yachi, I promise you won’t regret it!” He then shot back to his feet and walked over to his station. He pulled out many different colors of paints, not yet knowing what the song would sound like. A fiery rainbow? A delicate butterfly? A beach, or a forest? He could barely wait to see. A blank canvas laid before him, something new and beautiful hidden somewhere within it.

The first note rang clean and true into the air. Nothing less from Kageyama. In front of him, Hinata saw colors emerging. The song was relatively upbeat, but the colors weren’t insane or lively. They were warm and comforting, drifting in his vision like honey. Yellows and oranges glowed before him, but were put off by deep greens mingling in. Hinata found himself remembering feelings of being bundled up in Winter and stealing extra marshmallows for Natsu’s hot cocoa. He opened his eyes suddenly, and grabbed a brush.

He began to brush on warm tones, mixing in greys for a fireplace, browns for cabin walls, and the deep green became an old chair, worn from years of use, but loved all the same.

Hinata found himself remembering his mother. It had been a few weeks at the school, away from his family. He still got to see Yamaguchi and Suga, still texted Kenma all the time and was planning on visiting soon. But he hadn’t talked to his mother as much as he liked.

He painted her down in the easy chair. She always supported him through thick and thin, reminding him that he was good, that he would make it. Buying paints and canvases and making him food when he was so caught up in the pictures he forgot to eat. He hoped she was resting, now that she wasn’t in charge of wrangling him in. Only Natsu, though she was still a handful.

Time flew by once again, though it wasn’t as long this time. Kageyama can only practice a song so many times, and Hinata wasn’t focused on the details. He usually wasn’t, and that went double for the pieces he made while listening to music. It was more about the feeling than the insignificant perfections, right?

Eventually, Hinata’s brush made its last stroke and the last note of the violin gently sang out. A deep feeling resonated with Hinata. Something like home sicknesses, but not quite as bad. A feeling of happiness drifted in there as well. Sad, but content. He smiled at his mother in the easy chair. 

“Who’s that?” Kageyama asked. Hinata then remembered there were other people in the room. Kageyama was leaning over his shoulder.

“My mom,” Hinata responded. It was an unusually short response for him, but he didn’t feel the need to say anything else.

“Hm,” was Kageyama’s only reply. Hinata looked back at him. His frown had softened considerably looking at the warm living room that was inspired by his playing.

“Did the song,” Kageyama started with hesitation. “Did it remind you of her?”

“Kind of. The colors were really warm and soft and comforting, and I started thinking about her.”

The two sat in silence for a moment, before being interrupted by a sound from the door.

“Tch, didn’t know the king existed outside of class.”

Tsukishima stood in the doorway, Yamaguchi behind him with wide eyes. Kageyama’s face immediately morphed into one of anger.

“Don’t call me that,” he growled. Tsukishima looked unconcerned, re-adjusting his glasses.

“Well, good job playing that piece like a robot, as usual. I’m sure you’re excited to know we’re working on accompaniment next week. Hopefully your pianist won’t just stop playing in the middle of the song. Though I’m sure you’re used to it.”

Kageyama’s fists were clenched at his sides, ready to deck Tsukishima if he said another word. The air between the two was tense, almost about to snap. They looked at each other for a moment, and Hinata’s head flipped nervously between the two. What happened if there was a fight in the dorm? Would they get expelled? Would Hinata get expelled?

Luckily, the moment was broken by a surprising voice piping up from behind Tsukishima.

“Tsukki, I wanted to get back to the dorms so we could watch that documentary,” he said quickly. Tsukishima immediately turned to Yamaguchi at his words.

“Yeah, sure, let’s go. We’re wasting our time with these idiots anyway,” Tsukishima said. He turned away and began to leave. Yamaguchi made eye contact with Hinata before mouthing “Sorry” and then followed Tsukishima. The two boy’s voices trailed off into the hallway

“I also heard that there’s some leftover strawberries in the fridge, aren’t those your favorite?”

“Shut up Yamaguchi.”

“Sorry, Tsukki!”

Dead silence weighed over the heads of those remaining in the art studio. Broken, of course, by Hinata.

“Since when was Yamaguchi friends with THAT guy? I thought he was terrified of him!”

Kageyama turned to Hinata and gave him an incredulous look.

“That’s what you focus on?” he grinded out.

“What else would I focus on? The rest was just stingyshima being a jerk as usual,” Hinata grumbled.

“For what it’s worth, I think the song sounded really pretty Kageyama,” a voice nervously piped up from behind them. They both turned to see Yachi, peeking her head out from behind a chair.

“Yachi! I forgot you were even here!” Hinata yelled.

“Shut up dumbass it’s like, midnight!”

“That was louder than me Kageyama!”

Yachi watched the two bicker with amusement, throwing a few extra insults back and forth before Hinata turned back to her.

“Did you see my painting Yachi? Do you like it?” Yachi stood up completely from behind her chair, her knees still wobbling a bit.

“I did, I saw you paint the whole thing, it was incredible! I didn’t say anything at first because I was in shock, and then I didn’t because you two were talking and it seemed like you were having a moment and I didn’t want to interrupt, then that scary tall guy came in, why are there so many scary people here? And so tall, I’m surrounded by giants!” Yachi exclaimed, a waiver to her voice.

“Well Kageyama’s not really scary, and Tsukishima’s just mean. If he’s mean to you, tell me, and I’ll give him a piece of my mind!”

“Please don’t!”

Hinata laughed as Yachi’s face went white imagining Hinata getting killed by the giant.

“This guy’s pretty good though, right?” Hinata said, gesturing to Kageyama. Yachi shook herself from her anxious thoughts.

“Yeah! He’s really awesome!” Yachi said. Kageyama looked like he genuinely did not know what to do, eyes wide and slightly confused.

“He’s awesome, right? He barely ever messed up, only once in the second time around and it was really fast I almost missed it!” Kageyama immediately turned on Hinata.

“How the hell could you tell I messed that up? I covered for it immediately!” There was an edge of desperation to his voice, and slight fear. The navy blue swirled in front of Hinata’s eyes.

“Like I told you before, I saw it. I couldn’t hear it at all, but there was this, I don’t know, this color that looked a bit out of place for a moment,” Hinata replied. Kageyama looked to calm down a little at knowing no one could hear the mistake.

“I didn’t hear any mess ups at all!” Yachi put in. Kageyama turned away.

“It doesn’t matter. Are we done?” He said shortly.

“Yeah, my arms are beat. Yachi, you wanna walk back with us?” Hinata asked. Yachi nodded.

“Wait, you guys are walking back? I wanted to practice more,” Kageyama said.

“But Kageyamaaaaa, Suga said I could only stay for a few hourssss, and it’ll be fun to hang out at the dorm! We can do more work tomorrow! Let’s go!” Hinata began rapidly putting away his things, leaving no room for argument. Kageyama just sighed, relenting. Yachi also began cleaning up, and soon the trio was out the doors and heading over to Karasuno.

\---------------------------------------------------- 

Yachi had immediately gone into her room the second they arrived, saying she needed to go to sleep. Kageyama had tried to do the same, but Hinata was hungry and didn’t want to eat one-in-the-morning cereal alone. He dragged Kageyama to the kitchen, both of them whisper-arguing to each other. Eventually he had Kageyama sitting in a chair with a bowl in front of him.

“So Kageyama, this is the kitchen,” Hinata quietly introduced.

“I know that, I live here,” Kageyama grumbled back.

“I was just making sure, since I never see you in here like, ever.”

“I just don’t like group stuff.”

Hinata shrugged at that, taking a bite of the way-too-sugary cereal he’d convinced Suga to buy for him. They ate in relative silence for a few minutes after that, before curiosity got the best of Hinata.

“So, why does Tsukishima call you king?” He asked innocently. Immediately Kageyama stiffened.

“Don’t call me that.”

“I wasn’t! I was just wondering why he calls you that.”

“None of your business.”

“Alright, alright, sheesh! I think it’s a cool nickname though, I don’t know why you wouldn’t want it. If someone called me king, like king of painting, that would be awesome!”

Kageyama didn’t respond, eating his cereal and not meeting Hinata’s eyes.

 _Damn it!_ Hinata thought. _This was going pretty okay too! I got him into the kitchen and everything! I thought he would finally stop being a hermit!_

“Just so you know,” Hinata said, hastily trying to fix things, “you are a really good violinist. I don’t think you sound like a robot or anything. He’s probably just jealous.”

Kageyama seemed to mull that over, the stiffness leaving his body. He slumped down a little bit.

“You don’t know anything about music, but thanks,” he replied. Hinata dramatically put his hand over his heart.

“Excuse me! I go to a music school!”

“You’re in the art program.”

“And! I can tell when you mess up!”

“That’s because of your weird color-thingy.”

“Excuse me, it’s called synesthesia and it’s cool.”

“I didn’t know you could say a word that long.”

“Oh shut up stupidyama!”

Kageyama gave the smallest smile at Hinata’s annoyed face. It was small, but it was there. Hinata sat struck for a moment. He wanted to see Kageyama smile.

“Hey Yama, have you ever played Uno before?”

\---------------------------------------------------- 

It turns out that Kageyama had not played Uno before. Which led to a really bad explanation of Uno by Hinata, and a very intense game with a lot of whisper yelling and an almost thrown table. However, both were having fun.

At least, until Daichi came down the hall with a death glare on his face.

Kageyama quickly apologized and slipped to his room before Daichi could even say anything, which left Hinata at his mercy. But after Kageyama left, Daichi just rubbed the glare out of his eyes and yawned.

“Hinata, try not to play Uno loudly at almost two in the morning,” he said. The warm brown of his voice was grainy at the edges, heavy with sleep.

“Sorry,” Hinata said sheepishly. He packed up the cards and walked up to Daichi, who was leaning against the doorway.

“Alright. To bed,” Daichi said with a yawn. The two stopped outside Hinata’s room. Across the hall, Kageyama’s door was closed and the light off. Daichi stopped for a moment.

“Hinata, it’s… you’re good for him. It’s good that he’s talking to people, has a friend. I think that he didn’t really have friends before. So, while I prefer you don’t do it at midnight, thanks for getting him out of his room.”

With that, Daichi made his way down the hall sleepily, and disappeared into the room he shared with Asahi and Suga. Hinata retreated into his own room as well, Daichi’s words ringing in his head as he slipped under the covers.

If Kageyama needed friends, then Hinata was determined to be one. By the end of the month, Kageyama would be hanging out with everyone whether he wanted to or not! Which, he probably didn’t. But that wouldn’t deter Hinata.

 _Besides,_ Hinata thought to himself, _maybe if he gets more friends, if he hangs out with everyone more, then he’ll smile more too._

_He has a nice smile._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!! This chapter was a little shorter than usual I think, but I hope you enjoyed it anyway! I also wanted to give a shoutout to fake-plant, who did some amazing paintings inspired by the ones Hinata does!!!! They were beautiful I cried :,)
> 
> As always, update will happen within the week, and check me out @squydneyyy on tumblr! love y'all!


	6. Accompaniments and New Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama is given a new assignment and has to work with someone he's... less than compatible with.

For the next week, it became routine for Hinata and Kageyama to meet up in the art room and hang out. Mostly, they painted and played music, but sometimes Hinata would just paint while Kageyama watched, or Hinata would sit down and close his eyes and listen to Kageyama play. Yachi was often there, and Yamaguchi also stopped by occasionally. They fell into a comfortable routine that was only broken the next monday.

Hinata entered the building only to hear a squabble down at the end of the hall that had many of the students peeking out from music and art doorways alike. They were whispering about who it was, but Hinata already knew. He could see it from a mile away, the dark blue ocean crashing into the pale yellow sand.

Tsukishima and Kageyama were fighting.

Hinata raced down the hall to the final music room, the sound of arguing reaching a crescendo. The door slammed open, revealing an irritated Tsukishima.

“Call me when you finally decide to stop acting like a spoiled king. I’m not failing this assignment just because you’re incapable of working with another human being,” Tsukishima hissed back into the room. He then made his way down the hall, hitting Hinata with his shoulder on the way. Hinata watched him stalk down the hall, students hurried to get out of his way, and disappear out the door.

“Asshole,” Hinata heard someone mutter. He turned to see Kageyama, brows furrowed in anger.

“What’s with him? What’s with you? What happened?”

“The stupid professor thought it would be a good idea to pair us up for the accompaniment project.”

“The what?”

Kageyama sighed and grabbed Hinata’s arm, dragging him into the art room and away from any curious eyes of students wanting to know what the dramatic fight was about.

As soon as the door closed behind them, Hinata immediately turned to Kageyama.

“What’s an accompaniment?”

“It’s when a pianist and another musician play together idiot. In our situation, a pianist and a violinist. But Tsukishima is unbearable! He never listens, and keeps messing up!”

“Why did the teacher pair you two up?”

“Some ‘learning to get along’ bullshit”

“Kageyama! So vulgar.”

“Whatever. If he wants to fail the project, I don’t care.” With that, Kageyama turned on his heel, looking like he wanted to leave.

“Wait! Weren’t we gonna paint?” Hinata called after him. That made him stop for a moment. “Pleeeeaaaaseeee?” 

“Fine,” Kageyama mumbled. Hinata jumped up and bounced over to his station, digging around for a new canvas.

“Alright! You can play out your anger against Tsukishima, and then I can paint it!” He said excitedly. Kageyama, who had walked over and began tuning his violin, stopped at Hinata’s words.

“Play out my anger?”

Hinata tilted his head. Did Kageyama really not know what he meant? It was kind of obvious.

“You know, like when I’m mad and I go all ‘bwah!’ on my canvas and use big red colors and hit the canvas with the brush like ‘boom!’ and then I feel less mad! For you, I don’t know, I guess you can just play what you feel, make something up!”

At the words “make something up” Kageyama frowned.

“I’ve never ‘made something up’ before. It would probably sound horrible. And if I play something angry, then I doubt it’ll sound right.” Hinata tilted his head. What wasn’t Kageyama getting?

“It doesn’t need to sound like anything! Half my paintings are really bad but they were just for fun, to get some energy out or practice colors or something. It doesn’t need to be good, it just needs to be you, and you’re a super good violin person so I’m sure it’ll sound super awesome anyway!”

Kageyama still looked reluctant.

“I don’t want to. Just drop it, okay? Let’s go play cards or something,” he grumbled. Hinata wanted to press more, but thought for a moment. He would say he and Kageyama were friends by now, but it hadn’t been too long. He didn’t want to scare him away just yet. He was different from his other friends. Hinata felt different around him. He didn’t want to just throw that away over something stupid.

So, he dropped it.

“Alright stupid-yama, let’s go back to the dorm! I bet I can beat you at war,” Hinata teased.

“That game is completely based on luck!”

“Well, I guess I’m just luckier than you! Race ya!” With that, Hinata was running out the door.

“Wait- Dumbass! That’s not fair!” Kageyama shouted after him, racing out the same door. Hinata laughed as he ran out into the crisp air. It was starting to get a bit colder as September continued on. He stopped for a moment, giving Kagayama a second to catch up, before sprinting off again, the comforting sound of someone else’s footsteps behind him, running in tune with his.

\---------------------------------------------------- 

The dorm was pretty active, but that was normal for a Monday night. Suga and Daichi were tucked away in a corner of the main room, both writing something or another on papers. Occasionally, Suga would scribble something or write a smiley face on Daichi’s paper, at which Daichi would pretend to be annoyed at, but the telltale twinkle in his eye said otherwise.

Kinoshita sat in a chair at the kitchen table, hands black with charcoal. Across from him, Ennoshita was clicking his tablet pen against the table, tilting his head at whatever work was on the screen in front of him, before shaking his head and starting to draw again.

Light sounds of someone practicing flute could be heard from one of the dorm rooms, presumably the resident flautist, Narita. There was a comfortable silence in the room, which was likely about to be broken by the entrance of Kageyama and Hinata.

Kageyama was still strangely shy around the people in the dorm. He didn’t really talk to anyone or look at them. But in the past week, he was seen more out of his room and around the dorm. However, it was really only with Hinata.

Kageyama sat down on one of the couches as Hinata ran over to the games shelf and grabbed a deck of cards. The sound of shuffling and dealing filled the room, followed by the over-aggressive slapping down of cards in a not-so-silent game of war. Hinata and Kageyama tried to be quiet, especially after the Uno incident, but it was like their presence itself was loud.

The hitting of cards against the coffee table got faster and louder until on final WHAP on the table was heard, followed by Kageyama’s complaints.

“Dammit Hinata! How the hell do you always win! That should be statistically impossible!”

“Who knows Kageyama, maybe it’s the law of diminishing returns or something.”

Daichi snorted from the corner at this remark.

“It’s a good thing you’re an artist and not a mathematician,” he remarked.

“Do you guys not have homework or class? It’s Monday night,” Suga said from next to Daichi, eyes still focused on his paper.

“Well, all my classes are in the morning anyway and I was super productive last week so I got a head start on my assignments and stuff!” It was true, Hinata was a lot more productive due to Kageyama’s inspiration. Even his teachers noticed, commenting on his color palettes and asking where he was getting inspiration for so many new paintings. Of course, Hinata also had a still life drawing due for a technical critique on Wednesday, but he wasn’t gonna tell Suga that.

“I tried to get my work done, but there were some… issues.” Suga perked up at Kageyama’s voice. He was always trying to talk to him and get him to open up, so now that he was talking all eyes were on him.

“What do you mean issues?” Suga pressed. Kageyama’s face twisted even thinking about it.

“I got paired up with Tsukishima for the accompaniment project, and it is not going well,” Kageyama grumbled. Daichi whistled.

“Wow, what teacher came up with that combo?” he asked. Though he had rarely seen Kageyama and Tsukishima actually speak, anyone who was in the same room as the two for any amount of time could tell they clearly hated each other. Daichi’s question went unanswered however, as Suga pressed on.

“I remember that project. Well, I barely remember who my partner was, but I do remember how awful our project performance was. We had practiced forever but still didn’t sound quite right. The pianist had never done accompaniment before so we were really thrown into it without much direction. However, even though it was a bit of a disaster, it was also an important learning experience. Especially in your first year here, Miyagi likes to throw a ton of new projects at you to get you out of your comfort zone and exposed to a lot of new things. So, don’t worry about Tsukishima or having a flawless performance or any of that. Just try to work with him and have fun. It doesn’t need to be perfect.”

Silence followed Suga’s short speech. Kageyama looked at him, seemingly conflicted. A moment passed in which he looked like he was going to say something, but he closed his mouth. Eventually, he stood.

“Thank you Sugawara. I’ll think about that,” Kageyama said in a blank sort of tone. He then excused himself to his room, everyone watching him leave.

There was another bout of silence.

“Was it something I said?” Suga wondered out loud.

“I don’t think so,” Daichi replied. “I mean, I’m no musician, but I thought it sounded pretty good.

“Yeah,” Ennoshita chimed in from the table, “I think it’s just Kageyama.”

“I worry for him,” Suga admitted. “He just holes up in his room all the time. Plus, he doesn’t have a roommate. I don’t know…”

“Don’t worry Suga!” Hinata suddenly announced. “I won’t let you down! I’ll make sure Kageyama doesn’t fail his accompaniment and isn’t a recluse in his room!

Suga smiled at that, laughing a little at Hinata’s exuberance.

“Thanks Hinata, I’ll count on you!” Suga said with a soft smile. With that, Hinata ran over to Kageyama’s room, banging on the door.

“Kageyama! You ditched me! I wanted to play another round of war!”

“I don’t want to play that dumb game! It’s rigged!” A muffled voice came through the door.

“Well, we can play something else? Or get some food, I’m starving and I heard that the food truck over near the Fukurodani dorms was selling meat buns!”

“Fine, let’s go,” the muffled voice responded, and then Kageyama emerged. The two then went down the hall as if nothing had happened, Hinata happily chatting away and Kageyama occasionally interjecting with insults. When the pair was gone, everyone in the dorm exchanged puzzled looks. Except for Suga, who smiled softly.

“Well, I guess I didn’t have anything to worry about after all,” he said, and settled back into the couch next to daichi, continuing to write and erase music notes on the paper in front of him.

\---------------------------------------------------- 

Hinata happily bit into his meat bun as the pair walked through campus aimlessly. It was getting late, the last drips of sunlight vanishing over the horizon. Hinata had started rambling about Kenma’s video game project and how he was visiting soon because his project partner Kuroo lived in the Nekoma dorms at Miyagi campus. Kageyama nodded along, eating a pork bun of his own. This continued until something caught Hinata’s eye, making him suddenly stop talking.

“Kageyama! Check that out! We have to go see!” he shouted, grabbing Kageyama’s hand and pulling him along.

“Dumbass! What are you doing?” Kageyama yelled after Hinata, tripping over his feet to keep up pace and trying not to think about their linked hands.

“Look!” Hinata pointed forward to a large mural being thrown up on the wall of a building. An excitable man with wild dual-tone hair was enthusiastically painting, while another man holding a violin case stood silently next to him.

“SO COOL!” Hinata yelled, now close enough that the two men turned to see who was yelling. The one with the wild hair smiled proudly.

“Isn’t this awesome already? And it’s barely begun! Check this out.” The man gestured wildly all over the wall as he spoke. “Over here, there’s gonna be a legion of owls swooping in, claws gleaming, an epic electric storm brewing on the horizon!

“And then, on this side,” he said dramatically, running to the opposite side of the wall, “my bro Kuroo is painting his cat army, hissing and scratching upwards at the owls! It’s going to be the moment before battle strikes, land versus sky, cats versus owls! A showdown for the ages! All on this awesome wall! Hey hey hey! It’s gonna be great, right Akaashi?”

The man with the violin case looked passive, almost bored at the dramatic speech, but there was the slightest glimmer in his eye.

“I’m sure it will, Bokuto. Also, a group of owls would not be referred to as a legion, nor a group of cats as an army. The correct terms are a parliament of owls, and a clowder or a glaring of cats.”

“Wow! You’re so smart Akasshi!”

Hinata watched everything unfold with bright eyes. The man, Bokuto he was called, had a brilliant voice, exploding before him like golden fireworks. The other guy, Akaashi, had a contrasting silver voice that was smooth and polished, like a river.

“This is awesome! I wanna paint on a wall too!” Hinata gushed, earning back the attention of Bokuto.

“I know right? Took us forever to convince our teacher that this was the perfect idea for the collaboration project. What better idea to show teamwork than to work on painting an entire wall? Plus, now the whole school can see our greatness!” Bokuto then puffed his chest out proudly.

“Considering this wall is hidden in a corner of the school where only students from Nekoma or Fukurodani will even possibly see it, I doubt the whole school will observe your painting,” Akaashi said bluntly.

“Kaaaashiiii,” Bokuto whined. “But these two found it, and I don’t think they’re Nekoma and definitely aren’t Fukurodani. Right?”

“Nope!” Hinata chirped. “I’m Hinata Shouyou, first year art student at Karasuno! And this big grump is Kageyama, first year music student, also Karasuno!”

“Well, I’m Bokuto Koutarou, and this is Akaashi! I’m a third year, and Akaashi here is a second year, and the best violin player ever!”

“I wouldn’t say the best,” Akaashi cut in. He then turned to Hinata and Kageyama. “Akaashi Keji, second year at Fukurodani with a focus on music, specifically the violin.”

“Nice to meet you!” Hinata replied. Kageyama simply nodded at the two.

“So, what brings the Karasuno kids around here? On a date or something?” Bokuto asked, his eyes travelling down to their linked hands. Hinata and Kageyama both blushed, hands immediately breaking free of each other.

“What? No way! We were just getting meat buns because grouchy over here was being all dramatic about his music company project, and then I saw you painting on the wall and I dragged him over here to see!”

“It’s called accompaniment, not company, dumbass,” Kageyama remarked. Hinata stuck his tongue out at him, and Bokuto laughed.

“Well, Akaashi is once again the best violin player ever, so you could ask him for tips!”

“Are you scaring the first years while bragging about Akaashi again?” another voice cut in. Hinata found this voice particularly interesting. It was a void of black, both spikey and smooth at the same time, and playful. Like a cat’s soft paw revealing sharp claws underneath. The four turned at the voice to see a tall man with an absolute disaster of a hairstyle sauntering over to them.

“BRO!” Bokuto yelled. “I wasn’t scaring them! They were interested in my amazing talents!”

“Sure,” the newcomer said sarcastically, an easy smirk falling onto his face. He looked over to Kageyama and Hinata.

“Hey, I’m Kuroo, the person making the better half of this painting.”

“Hey!”

“Ignore him.”

“Nice to meet you, I’m Hinata Shouyou and this is Kageyama!” Hinata said excitedly. He was always one for meeting new people. Kageyama however, was looking a little overwhelmed, a dark aura surrounding his perpetually frowning face.

“Hinata Shouyou? You’re Kenma’s friend right?” Kuroo asked. Hinata’s eyes lit up in recognition.

“Oh yeah! You’re the one working on the video game with Kenma!”

“Well, I’m just doing the art, Kenma’s the real brains behind the situation.”

“It’s still super cool! I can’t wait to play the game! And you’re also doing this art project?” Hinata gestured to the colorful wall, still in the very early stages of development.

“Yup, it’s gonna be sick,” Kuroo said. “You a painter too kid?”

“Yeah! It’s my favorite!” Hinata bounced up and down in front of the two, causing Kuroo to laugh.

“Ah, to be an excited youth again,” he mused. Bokuto hit him in the shoulder.

“Shut up, you’re not even twenty-one!” Bokuto said.

“Anyway, what’s your thing? Like what do you paint?” Kuroo asked after leveling a playful glare at Bokuto.

“I don’t really know, I guess landscapes and stuff, but I paint other things too! I like big stuff that’s simple, lots of color, less detail,” Hinata replied. Kuroo snorted.

“You sound like this idiot when he was a first year,” he said, gesturing at Bokuto, who once again protested.

“I mean it’s just because it’s easier and more fun! Especially with synesthesia,” Hinata speedily returned. Both boys tilted their heads at the last word.

“Synesthesia?” Kuroo asked. Bokuto looked like he was going to ask the same thing, but couldn’t figure out how to pronounce the word.

“Yeah, technically chromesthesia which is sound to color, so like people’s voices and music. It’s not as common as the other one, grapheme-color I think? But it’s still really common.” Synesthesia was something Hinata could talk about and sound sort of smart in. It helps when you actually have the condition. Kuroo and Bokuto blinked at him.

“Wait, so my voice right now is a color?” Kuroo asked.

“Yup!”

“That’s so cool? What color?” Hinata was used to these questions, getting them all the time in middle and high school. From what color a certain note was, to a whole song, to everyone’s voice in practically the entire grade. He wasn’t bothered by it though. It was cool! He understood that people would want to know more.

“Your voice is black, and it’s sharp but also not sharp? It’s like… I don’t know, just trust me it looks cool I promise!” Kuroo looked a little too smug at the idea of his voice looking cool.

“Me too! Me too!” Bokuto yelled out.

“Yours is amazing, like golden fireworks!” Hinata said. Bokuto’s smile broaded.

“Hey hey hey! Did you hear that Akaashi! My voice is golden!” He shouted to his friend. Akaashi looked over to them, away from Kageyama, whom he had been having a conversation with.

“Okay Bokuto,” he replied. He then turned back to Kageyama and began talking again, saying something about the speed of playing or the complexities of a piano piece. 

“What about Akaashi?” Bokuto said, pulling Hinata away from Kageyama and Akaashi’s conversation.

“Oh, he’s silver, and really smooth too, like a river,” Hinata said.

“I knew he would sound cool! Akaashi, did you hear? Your voice is silver!” Bokuto yelled to Akaashi.

“Yes, I heard Bokuto. It’s very interesting,” Akaashi responded. Despite the blunt delivery, there was an undercurrent of sincerity and fondness to Akaashi’s silver river that made Hinata smile.

“Hey Hinata, we should get back to the dorms. It’s late,” Kageyama suddenly said. Hinata checked his phone, and sure enough, it was gaining on midnight.

“Shoot, you’re right! I told Suga I wouldn’t stay out super late anymore!”

“Well, midnight is hardly late in college,” Kuroo added in. Hinata did consider that. He and Kageyama had been out later before. But if Kageyama wanted to leave, well, there was probably good reason.

“It’s also Monday night, and I know you have an eight AM figure drawing class Kuroo,” Akaashi said.

“Shit you’re right! I totally forgot about that! I better bounce too then, I still have some homework to finish up,” Kuroo said, already starting to leave. “You should come back Shrimpy, check out the painting when we’re done!”

“Shrimpy?!?” Hinata cried. Kuroo only laughed, waving a goodbye and sauntering back from the direction he came from.

“He’s right though, you should visit! See our art wall in action! I can teach you some awesome art moves!” Bokuto said.

“Totally!”

“Alright then my new pupil! I’ll see you around! And definitely come see this in the daytime! It looks way more awesome in the sunlight than under the streetlamps!”

“Yeah!”

Hinata then turned to Kageyama, who was saying goodbye to Akaashi.

“Good luck Kageyama, and come back if you need any more advice. I’m happy to help,” Akaashi said.

“Yeah. Thanks,” Kageyama responded quietly. Akaashi gave him a slight smile.

“I’m sure you’ll be fine. As I said before, I’ve seen you play. You’re very talented.” Kageyama blushed just slightly.

“Th-thanks,” he stuttered. “I’ll be sure to take your advice. Goodbye.”

Hinata and Kageyama then left, Hinata waving excitedly to Bokuto and almost falling over trying to walk backwards, Kageyama’s hand on his arm keeping him upright.

“They were super cool right? I can’t believe they get to paint a whole wall!” Hinata gushed. Kageyama nodded along. “Was Akaashi nice? Did he give you advice on the whole company situation?”

“Accompaniment. And yeah. He’s really smart.”

“Well good! The sooner you and Tsukki are done with the project and stop arguing, the sooner we can keep painting and playing together again!”

“Dumbass, we can still do that now! Not like that asshole controls my life,” Kageyama grumbled.

“True! But maybe you’d look less grumpy all the time.” Hinata put his hands on Kageyama’s face at his words, pushing his cheeks up. Kageyama swatted away Hinata’s hands, faintly red in the cheeks.

“Get off me idiot! And maybe I’m grumpy all the time because I have to hang out with you.”

“No way! You love hanging out with me, I know I got you hooked on Uno!”

“I could play Uno with anyone, you’re not special.”

“Well, no one would stay up until three in the morning playing Uno with you!”

“Last time we did that, Suga threw Asahi’s colored pencils at us. Which I still blame you for by the way.”

“Not my fault you couldn’t handle the draw four!”

“And even with that draw four you still lost.”

“Shut up, I’m still up seventeen games to fifteen!”

“That’s only because you’re also counting your stupid wins in war!”

“Still technically wins! And I’m about to get another one right now!” With that, Hinata began sprinting off in the direction of Karasuno, Kageyama at his heels in an instant.

“Not fair again! That’s twice today! This doesn’t count!” Kageyama yelled after him. Hinata could only smile. And he knew Kageyama was smiling too, the deep blue color swirling to life in front of eyes.

When the two boys made it back to their dorm rooms panting, the score was now eighteen to fifteen, though Kageyama swears Hinata cheated. Both of them dragged themselves back into their rooms, Hinata falling on the bed in a heap. He fell asleep to the sounds of Nishinoya’s snores, a smile on his face. Unbeknownst to him, Kageyama was smiling in his own room too.

Everything was gonna be fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact the most research I have done for this fic is what animal groups are called and Kuroo’s birthday
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this chapter! I love Bokuto and Akaashi so legally they had to show up at some point. Comments and kudos are super super appreciated! As always, an update will happen within the week! If you wanna chat about this fic, Haikyuu, or anything else, hit me up @squydneyyy on tumblr. Thanks for reading!!


	7. Arguments and Mountaintops

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama and Tsukishima's problems continue.

Everything was not gonna be fine.

The more days that passed with the stupid accompaniment project, the worse things got. At that moment, Hinata was sitting on the floor of the practice room with Yamaguchi, both sketching haphazardly in their notebooks and listening to the sweet sound of their roommates arguing.

“You’re supposed to speed up here!”

“We’re not supposed to do anything, why do I have to listen to what you deem is best? The same pace sounds fine.”

“That’s not what it should be!”

“Who cares about that, I’m not speeding up. Plus, there’s a ritardando in the second measure in section B, so maybe we should focus on that instead of you getting your pants in a twist over some irrelevant part of the piece.”

“I am slowing down at the second measure, you’re just playing like a turtle!”

“Maybe you should try to match my turtle playing then?”

“Why don’t you match me? I’m better, and I know that I’m right, so match me instead!”

“There he is, the tyrant king, always thinks he’s right! Maybe if you weren’t playing like a maniac or a robot, I could try to match up to you better.” Kageyama stiffened at the nickname being slung against him, clenching his fists.

“Well maybe if you weren’t playing like a… a turtle!” He managed. Tsukishima snorted.

“Ooh, original. Couldn’t think of anything else? Like a sloth, or maybe sluggish, how about a snail’s pace, or maybe like syrup or molasses, maybe I was playing at a leisurely pace, dawdling, or lacking?”

“Shut up! Let’s just play this again.”

“Whatever.”

As they attempted the song again, Hinata wished he had earplugs. It wasn’t that it sounded bad, not that it sounded good either. It was how it looked. The notes were all wrong, colors clashing and breaking against each other when they should have been flowing smoothly together. He’s heard Kageyama play the whole thing on violin before, and it sounded fine, even if a little empty. Hinata assumed that the accompaniment would fix that. But now, with Tsukishima accompanying him, it was just... messed up.

“You played the wrong note!” Kageyama said abruptly, stopping Tsukishima, whose face looked far more irritated than usual.

“So what? Not like you can stop us during the performance because of one wrong note, your highness. We can’t all be perfect like you,” Tsukishima sneered.

“You’ve been playing that one wrong every time though!”

“Tch.” Tsukishima pushed up his glasses before dramatically putting his hands on the keys, a note ringing out harshly as he pounded his fingers onto the piano.

“There. The right note. Happy?”

Kageyama clearly wasn't happy, but didn’t say anything, choosing to sharply turn away from Tsukishima instead and bring his violin back to his chin. Tsukishima huffed and rolled his eyes, before beginning again.

They lasted thirty seconds longer than usual before Kageyama stopped them again and another squabble started.

It had been at least two hours of nothing but this. Tsukishima’s harsh and sarcastic pale yellow voice was like sand in Hinata’s eyes, and Kageyama’s voice wasn’t much better, waves of aggressive blue hitting him like saltwater.

Hinata smacked his forehead onto his sketch pad with a groan.

“Um, Hinata?” Yamaguchi’s light green voice nervously cut in, “I think you’re getting pencil marks on your forehead.”

Hinata pulled the notepad off of his face, a stubborn pout hanging on his lips.

“I’m so booooorrreeed, they’ve been arguing for like yeeaaarrrssss,” Hinata complained, falling onto Yamaguchi. Yamaguchi gave him a slight smile.

“Hinata, it’s only been a couple hours. Their performance is soon, they need the practice.”

“Yeah, I can tell,” Hinata replied, turning to face Tsukishima and Kageyama. They were gesturing to music sheets and yelling things about performance and occasionally speaking what sounded like Italian.

“Hey Yamaguchi, why are they speaking in Italian?”

“Oh, well, I think it’s that a lot of music words are in Italian. Like, um, crescendo? It’s like how in ballet they use French.”

“How do you know about ballet?”

“I don’t know, how do you know about Italian?”

“I don’t know about Italian!”

“Hey!” a voice rang from Yamaguchi and Hinata’s side. Kageyama was staring down at the two with what Hinata had creatively dubbed, his ‘scary face.’ “Can you two stop arguing? We’re trying to get some work done.”

Hinata tried not to laugh at the situation. As if he and Yamaguchi’s arguing was getting in the way more than Kageyama and Tsukishima’s constant back and forth. But Hinata relented, sitting up and going back to his sketchbook.

And the song started anew. This was going to be a long afternoon.

\---------------------------------------------------- 

After a few more hours, the dreaded rehearsal was finally brought to an end. Thankfully no fully-fledged fights broke out, though Hinata was absolutely ready for one by the end. He was surprised neither boy’s voice was hoarse from shouting at each other. It was lucky the practice studios were soundproof, or they definitely would have gotten a noise complaint.

Hinata and Kageyama walked alongside each other on the way back to the dorm. Yamaguchi and Tsukishima had gone in a different direction, saying something about food, so the dorm was technically safe.

“So, what’s the problem with you and Tsukishima? Can’t you guys just like… play the song?” Hinata asked.

“It’s not that simple! We aren’t just playing it, we’re both playing it at the same time, together! So he needs to match me, but he’s refusing to try at all,” Kageyama grumbled. He crossed his arms, face scowling at even the mention of Tsukishima.

“Gah, why does music have to be so complicated!”

“Well, you do need to have a brain to understand it.”

“Shut up! You told me about your math scores!”

“Well, yours were even worse than mine anyway.”

“But you had the worst English scores in the class!”

“I did not!”

The two continued their bickering all the way to the dorms. Unlike Tsukishima and Kageyama’s arguing previously, this one felt comfortable. Even a little fun. It wasn’t harsh or really biting. It was nice. Hinata found he and Kageyama fell into this comfortable pattern of teasing often, and he liked it.

The arguing continued as they entered the dorm, sat down in the lounge, and got out cards. Daichi said no Uno, so the two had taken to playing crazy eights. As they played, people came in and out, usually for snacks or working at the kitchen table with headphones on. Hinata and Kageyama paid them no mind, content to dramatically slap cards down and ignore the world around them.

After Kageyama lost a round (which made it tied up at 20-20), he fell back into his chair.

“I still don’t know what to do about the accompaniment thing. Why do we even have to do it anyway?” he said.

Before Hinata had a chance to reply, someone else spoke up.

“You and Tsukishima are still having issues with your accompaniment?” The immediately recognizable light blue of Suga’s voice drifted over to them, making the two boys turn their heads. Suga came over and sat beside the pair.

“Yeah, he and Tsukishima practiced for like, ever, and it still sounded sucky!” Hinata said.

“Hey! It wasn’t that bad!” Kageyama argued. Suga looked at him. “Okay, so it wasn’t great. But Tsukishima is impossible to do anything with! He’s playing it wrong!”

“How do you know?” Suga asked.

“Well, I’ve heard it, and Tsukishima is playing it wrong!” Suga shook his head.

“Firstly, it’s bad form to listen to a piece before you play it. Your teacher should tell you that. And secondly, there isn’t a particular right way to play something, especially now. You’re in your first year, there’s time to explore different ways to do something. Maybe you could try matching up with Tsukishima a bit better instead?”

“No way!” Kageyama protested. “He’s way off! He should match me!”

“Kageyama,” Suga said, voice strained, “an accompaniment isn’t meant to be an argument. You both need to adjust to each other. It’s like… a conversation. Or maybe a dance. Like a paux de deux in ballet.”

“Why does everyone keep talking about ballet?” Hinata murmured. His contribution went ignored.

“Look, if I try it his way, it’ll just sound bad! I’d rather play the violin and piano pieces by myself,” Kageyama snarled. Suga took a breath, trying to keep himself level.

“Kageyama, how do you know it would sound bad? Different isn’t bad. And even if it does sound worse, that’s not the end of the world. The point of this assignment isn’t to do something perfectly. It would be insane to give two first years only a few weeks and minimal help to make a perfect accompaniment. The point is to learn what an accompaniment is, how to play one, and more importantly, how to work together. You’re going to have to put aside your pride for a moment and listen to Tsukishima.”

Kageyama looked thoroughly scolded. He seemed to want to rebuff Suga, but couldn’t think of a better answer than ‘I don’t want to.’ His scowl set deeper into his face.

“Fine. I guess we can try it his way,” he mumbled.

“Great!” Suga said brightly, standing up. “Don’t stay up too late, and talk to me if there are any problems.”

“Okay! Thanks Suga!” Hinata called. Looking at his phone, he saw it was about eleven thirty. They could squeeze in one more round. “Kageyama! One more game?”

“I don’t want to,” Kageyama replied shortly.

“Fineee, go to be grumpy-yama.” Hinata began putting away the cards, and Kageyama was already gone.

 _Probably off to think about what Suga said and finally stop arguing with Tsukishima,_ Hinata thought. Well, he hoped that was the case. But with those two’s stubborn attitudes, it was doubtful there would be much change.

\---------------------------------------------------- 

The next day, Hinata was holed up in the studio painting. It was meant to be simple, but the picture was frustrating Hinata. He was inspired by something Yachi made, a cool colored pencil drawing of water droplets. While he wasn’t doing water droplets, he was doing something water-themed. A neon city street with wet pavement reflecting the flashing lights. It was gonna look awesome!

Well, that is if Hinata can figure out how the perspective was working.

All the letters looked wonky. The buildings seemed to curve and lean in. The road was like a jagged rectangle. Why wasn’t this coming together?

Hinata resisted the urge to throw a paint brush dramatically against a wall. He was working in the afternoon, and there were more students milling about than usual. Ones who would probably not appreciate projectile paint brushes.

Except for maybe the ones working on some abstract piece. They might want a little randomness.

Hinata settled for slumping back down on his stool, and considering just throwing the painting away, unless anyone had use for an example of bad art. He huffed, thinking about what to do.

As he was considering his options, the banging of a door followed by familiar swatches of colorful voices rang out.

 _Ah, Kageyama and Tsukishima must finally be done_ , Hinata thought. 

And he was right, as Kageyama burst into the studio, grumbling something about ritardandos and accompaniments and other music things that Hinata could never wrap his head around.

“So, how was rehearsal with Tsukishima?” Hinata asked cheekily. Like he didn’t already know the answer.

“Still bad! I know what Suga said, how I should try to like, compromise or whatever, but I don’t know what he wants to do, and he’s being a jerk whenever I try to do anything, and it just sounds wrong!” Kageyama’s face was twisted, breath huffing out.

“Well, why don’t you play something and I’ll paint it! Just to do something else that isn’t practicing for your thingy,” Hinata suggested. He didn’t like to see Kageyama so frustrated, especially when the distress was palpable in his voice. He really didn’t want to fail this accompaniment project.

Kageyama sighed, letting some of the stress leave his shoulder. Hinata put aside his messed up attempt at perspective and grabbed a fresh canvas, ready to leave his problems behind too.

Kageyama began to play, almost timidly at first. Then the music picked up, his fingers moving deftly to each position on the string, filling the studio with a melody.

Hinata breathed it in. It was fresh, full of sharp winter blues, greys, and dark moody purples. The indigo stood sturdy, draped with soft pieces of white and frost. He knew exactly what to paint with this one.

Tools at the ready, a new landscape began to form. It was simple but robust, a lone mountain above the last layer of clouds. The mountain became a shadowy purple, the sky just falling night around it. Snow sat quietly on top of it, untouched except for the delicate top layer moved by the winds that traveled at high altitudes. The sky sat almost empty. A few stars were dotted in, the brightest ones. The planets. The north stars. The ones that came up before the others. A layer of clouds decorated the bottom of the piece, moving slowly.

It was peaceful.

It was lonely.

Hinata stared at it. Tall and strong and all alone up there in the big sky. He looked to his right, seeing Kageyama playing his final few notes. The crease was gone from his brow, his face smoothed back to his more neutral playing expression. Yet, a tightness still remained. A conflict, a frustration in the back of his mind.

He lowered his bow and violin, eyes opening.

“Kageyama, where’s that song from?” Hinata asked. Kageyama blinked at him for a moment.

“Oh, I… don’t really know. I heard someone playing it. It was stuck in my head,” he replied. Hinata’s eyes shined.

“You played that whole thing after just hearing it? Wow! You really are awesome! That must be why they call you king, you’re like, the king of music!” Kageyama blushed at the words, standing stiff. However, a sandy voice decided to make an appearance.

“Yeah, king of copying. Nice rendition of Suga’s playing, I must say.” Tsukishima leaned in the doorway. “And shrimp, he isn’t called king for his so-called genius. He’s called king because he’s a tyrannical asshole who can’t change his tune, much less change it for anyone else.”

“Why are you even here?” Kageyama growled. The blush was long gone from his face, replaced instead with a furious red anger.

“I forgot my bag. I guess being in a room with you for too long rotted some of my brain cells. Luckily you’re friends with Hinata, he doesn’t have any brain cells for you to poison. Now, I’ve got to go. Unlike you two, I actually have work I want to finish and classes I don’t want to fail.”

Without giving either boy a chance to respond, Tsukishima swept out of the doorway, leaving Hinata and Kageyama glaring after him.

“I hate that guy,” Kageyama mumbled. Hinata shook his head.

“Don’t worry about him, I’m sure your project will be fine!”

“I doubt it.”

“Who cares anyway? Let’s just not think about it for now,” Hinata rushed, eager to not put up with anymore Tsukishima-Kageyama fighting. He wished Kageyama could always have the serene face he wears when playing music he likes. Just a hint of a smile. Not the angry wrinkles he wore in his forehead whenever Tsukishima was around.

Kageyama sighed again, rubbing his face with his hand.

“Whatever,” he said under his breath. He went over to Hinata’s station, looking at the piece.

“You like it?” Hinata asked.

“You should show this to Suga,” Kageyama responded, surprising Hinata.

“What- Suga? Why?”

“Well, Tsukishima was right. I’m a copycat at best. I heard Suga playing this, it’s probably something he wrote. He might think it’s cool to see his piece on canvas.”

“You can think it’s cool too. I mean, this is from me hearing you play it, right?”

“Yeah, I guess it’s nice,” Kageyama said. He then moved his eyes away from the painting in front of him and to the one that was laid to the side. Perspective attempt 1.

“This is what you were working on before, right?” Kageyama asked, lifting the piece up against Hinata’s protests. “Why is it so wonky? Don’t you use rulers?”

“Rulers are restrictive!” Hinata complained, reaching across Kageyama to try to grab the painting. Kageyama still held it out of reach.

“Don’t you listen to your teachers? They should teach you how to make this look right,” he observed. Hinata groaned.

“I do listen! Most of the time! It’s just hard, they talk about like, shapes and making things align and horizons and blah blah blah, I mean I just want to paint fun stuff! Not boring stuff,” Hinata huffed. An overexaggerated frown found its way on his face.

“I think technique is important.”

“You do music though! And you’re like, a genius perfectionist!” Hinata protested. He finally reached the painting, snatching it away from Kageyama and putting it back down. Kageyama rolled his eyes. Hinata punched him in the side.

“Hey, dumbass! What the hell was that for!”

“Don’t steal my stuff!”

“Yeah yeah, don’t look at your lame art, got it.”

“It’s not lame! It’s a work in progress!”

“Sure.”

“Shut up!”

The two continued their “conversation” as Hinata packed up his art supplied and Kageyama put away his music. As per usual, they walked back to the dorm together, bickering evolving into conversation about their days and classes. Of course, it all circled back to the Tsukishima issue.

“I just don’t know what to do! I try to compromise, but I never know what he’s going to do next! He just orders me around and ignores everything I say.” Hinata hummed, skipping along side Kageyama.

“I’m sure we can figure out some solution! Maybe ask Suga again?”

“I’d rather not… He already gave me advice.”

“Double advice?”

“No.”

With that, the subject was dropped. The pair heated up some leftovers from when Suga went on a cooking spree with Daichi the previous day. They made sure to do the dishes too, not wanting to leave their RAs with mess to clean up. They then went their separate ways, disappearing into their respective rooms.

Hinata had learned that he didn’t need to be super quiet around Nishinoya. The guy was pretty asleep most of the time. He quickly changed and shuffled into bed, yawning. It wasn’t too late, only a little past midnight, but he had early classes tomorrow like most of the dorm.

Closing his eyes, Hinata thought about Kageyama’s problem. Now, he was no musician, but he wanted to find a way to fix it. He would never tell Kageyama this, but he actually didn’t hate him. In fact, he kinda liked him. Liked how he played the violin, liked his deep blue voice, liked his face when he had that half smile on it right when he played the last note, hearing it ring out in the room.

Not that he really liked Kageyama or anything. He just thought he was talented, that’s all.

But Hinata hated seeing the constant cloud of irritation and frustrating surrounding him these days. It wasn’t like Kageyama was usually all sunshine of course, but recently it was worse because of one Tsukishima and an accompaniment project. Hinata squeezed his eyes shut harder, willing his brain to think. He was sure he could come up with something for Kageyama to try. Even if he wasn’t a musician.

Eventually, Hinata drifted off to sleep, words of music and Kageyama and project and something about meat buns flowing through his head.

He would find a solution tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all, back again with a new chapter! I hope you liked it! ALSO the amazing @constellation_salad on Instagram made me some ART! and it's AWESOME! She's the best and also helps me edit this story, so go check out her stuff! https://www.instagram.com/p/CATDDI_g4rc/  
> https://www.instagram.com/constellation_salad/
> 
> As always, thank you for reading! Kudos and comments are super super super appreciated! If you wanna chat, hit me up @squydneyyy on Tumblr! Next chapter will be posted within the week! Thank you and have a good day/night/evening/morning/afternoon!


	8. Pancakes and Friendly Visits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata has some pancakes, comes up with a maybe-solution to the whole Kageyama-Tsukishima problem, and sees a friend.

That morning, Hinata was woken up by a very loud brass instrument playing in his ear. He was slightly ashamed to say he screamed and jumped out of bed so high he almost hit his head on the ceiling. Nishinoya was laughing next to him when he got his wits, holding a trumpet.

“I got you so good! You should have seen the look on your face!” he laughed.

“Shut up!” Hinata said, face blushing a lovely shade of red. “What was that for anyway?”

“Suga’s making pancakes.”

With that statement, Nishinoya was immediately forgiven.

“SUGA’S PANCAKES? NO DINING HALL BREAKFAST?” Hinata yelled. He rushed out of bed and to his dresser, tugging on a pair of sweatpants and racing out of the room, Noya on his heels. As soon he crossed the threshold into the kitchen area, the warm smell of pancakes filled his senses.

Suga stood over the stove, pouring pancake mix from an absolutely massive bowl. He hummed as he worked, flipping pancakes with practiced ease. Daichi sat at the head of the table, looking at something on his computer. Yachi was there too, chatting with Narita, and Tanaka was happily eating pancakes with far too much syrup. He looked up when they entered.

“Hey bro! Finally get this sleepyhead out of bed and into delicious pancake wonderland?” he said. His voice was slightly muffled from the food in his mouth.

“You know it bro! Now don’t eat all of them, save some for me!” Noya responded, running to grab a plate.

“Don’t worry,” Suga interjected. “There’s plenty more where that came from. I may have gone a bit… overboard with the batter.”

“By overboard he means there’s another bowl that size in the fridge and two smaller ones,” Daichi said. Suga hit him with a spatula.

“You guys are just lucky I like cooking and baking so much. I doubt any of you have eaten in the dining halls all year,” Suga grumbled. But he continued pouring batter and adding more pancakes to the already impressive stack next to him. Hinata’s mouth watered just looking at it. Then he stopped.

“I should get Kageyama! I bet he’d love pancakes!” Hinata exclaimed, and turned back to the hallway, missing the nervous glance Suga and Daichi shared. Kageyama had never joined the dorm for meals, and was only really seen with Hinata playing card games or talking in the lounge.

“Oi, Kageyama! Suga’s making pancakes!” Hinata shouted, banging on Kageyama’s door. There was no reply, only spurring Hinata to bang harder on the door. Eventually, he almost threw his hand into thin air when the door opened abruptly.

Kageyama stood there, in boxers and a loose t-shirt. His hair was messy, like he had just gotten up, and his eyes were set in a glare at Hinata, who was standing frozen with his hand stuck in the air. For a second time that morning, Hinata’s face was flushed red.

“What?” Kageyama said. The blue of his voice was gravelled at the edges with sleep. Hinata pulled himself together, ignoring that this was the first time he had seen Kageyama in shorts and oh my god he had legs and they were very nice and maybe Hinata shouldn’t be staring and should be responding.

“O-Oh! Yeah Suga’s making pancakes! You should come eat with us!” Hinata rubbed the back of his neck, willing the blush and nervous feeling in his stomach to go away. Kageyama yawned and stretched his arms, his shirt riding up a little bit and _WOAH ok this is not helping look literally anywhere else!_

“I don’t know, I don’t usually eat with you guys,” Kageyama said. His voice still had his bored tone, but there was a slight edge of nervousness to it. Hinata hated that edge. He put his widest smile on.

“Come on Kageyama! No one cares, and it’s pancakes for crying out loud! You have to come!” Kageyama looked at Hinata, who was doing his best puppy dog eyes.

“Fine, let me change.” Kageyama turned, closing the door in Hinata’s face. Hinata jumped up in celebration, waiting eagerly outside the door. When it opened again, Kageyama was wearing slacks and a button up, a common outfit for him. He always looked like he was about to do a presentation or something. Hinata thought it was weird, but cute, like a little quirk.

“Let’s go!” Hinata grabbed Kageyama’s arm, pulling him into the kitchen. Daichi looked like he was trying to hide his surprise behind his laptop. Same with Narita and Yachi, who tried to be normal and continue their conversation without sneaking glances at Kageyama. Suga just smiled.

“Glad you could join us!” he said cheerfully. Kageyama mumbled a greeting under his breath in return as Hinata pulled him to the table.

“Trust me, these are the best pancakes you’ll ever have, Suga has this amazing recipe where they aren’t too thick but aren’t too thin, and he never overcooks them so they’re all perfect, and if you ask he can put chocolate chips in them which makes them way better in my opinion but other people say they’re too sweet, which is ridiculous! They’re pancakes, that’s the point! Want me to get some for you? How many?”

“Two is good.”

Kageyama took Hinata’s rambling in stride, surprising the residents of the kitchen. Even they were thrown off by Hinata’s chatter sometimes, but Kageyama seemed to hear every word clearly.

Hinata sat down again, putting a plate with two pancakes in front of Kageyama, and a plate with maybe five in front of himself. Kageyama glanced over at his plate.

“You’re gonna get fat eating that many pancakes.”

“Kageyama, rude! I am not! This is the perfect amount of pancakes for a growing boy!”

“Considering your height I don’t think you’re growing anymore.”

“Shut up, string bean!”

“String bean?”

The bickering continued, with the rest of the table slowly falling back to what they were doing. At the stove, Suga smiled to himself, happy that Kageyama had a friend and was finally joining them for food.

About halfway through the pancakes, Hinata brought up the dreaded accompaniment performance.

“Kageyama, I had an idea for how you could fix your accompaniment thingy!” Instantly Kageyama’s mood soured, face pinching up.

“Nothing can get me to work with Tsukishima,” Kageyama said darkly. Hinata hit him on the shoulder.

“At least listen to this idea! You were able to copy music you heard, right?” Kageyama nodded warily. “Well, maybe you could record Tsukishima playing the whole piece, and then match up to him! You can hear how he plays, and then play the same!”

“No way.” Kageyama immediately responded. Hinata frowned.

“What, you aren’t good enough to match up with him?” he challenged.

“Of course I’m good enough! I’m way better than him! I could match up with him easily!”

“Then why don’t you?”

“Because he’s playing it wrong!”

“Who cares? It sounds fine, and if you match up with it I’m sure it would sound even better! Are you saying you can’t match up to it?”

“I just said I could!”

“Then do it!”

“Fine! I will!”

“Good! I’ll ask him for a recording after pancakes.” Hinata smiled cheekily at Kageyama’s irritated face and continued eating his pancakes. Kageyama glared at him for a moment, but in the end, he too turned back to his plate.

To everyone else listening in, Hinata’s baiting was obvious. Suga had a small smile on his face, Daichi was struck with disbelief at the interaction, and Yachi looked terrified that the two were fighting. Narita rolled his eyes at the interaction and Yachi’s response. Tanaka and Noya were far too occupied with pancakes to pay attention to Hinata and Kageyama’s discussion.

After a minute of relative silence in the kitchen, Hinata spoke up again.

“I almost forgot! I won’t be around that much today after class because Kenma’s visiting so I’m going to see him today.”

“Okay.” Kageyama replied. It wasn’t short though, and had no anger laced underneath it. It was like neither of them was bothered by the previous “argument” and had gone right back to their normal routine. Hinata launched into a story about something Kenma had said yesterday, and everyone fell back into what they were doing.

Eventually Hinata realized that he had class in 10 minutes and wasn’t even dressed, so he half-hazardly washed his plate and ran back to his room. Kageyama followed, disappearing into his own room. A minute later, the sound of Hinata’s door opening and rushed footsteps down the hall could be heard. 

“How are those two friends?” Daichi questioned out loud.

“No idea, but I think it’s a good thing for both of them. They bounce off each other well,” Suga replied.

“It was scary when they started arguing! I know they have their little spats but that time Kageyama actually looked angry. What if they had like, hurt each other?” Yachi said, voice wavering slightly thinking about it.

“They argue, yes, but I wouldn’t worry about it getting serious. That’s just how they are,” Suga said, flipping another pancake. “I think they’ll be fine.”

\---------------------------------------------------- 

After his class, Hinata sat at a small cafe on campus, fidgeting in his seat. Earlier, he had texted Yamaguchi to ask if Tsukishima had a recording of his piano performance. Luckily, he did, and it was sent off to Kageyama, who was no doubt listening to it and working on his part at that moment. Hinata sipped on the water he had gotten, not wanting to order anything else until Kenma got there. After only texting Kenma for the past month, it would be nice to catch up in person.

After a few minutes of playing games on his phone and drinking sips of water, Hinata spotted Kenma walking up to the cafe.

“Kenma! Hey!” Hinata called, waving his arms. Kenma smiled, just barely, as he approached the table and sat down. He looked the same as Hinata remembered, though maybe his roots were showing a bit more than they were over the summer.

“Hey Shouyou. Sorry I’m late, my project partner held me up.” Kenma’s voice was a flatly delivered goldenrod, subtle and quiet. Hinata smiled at seeing the color again, but perked up even more at the mention of the project partner.

“Ooh! I met him! Kuroo right?”

“You met him? Sorry.” Hinata laughed.

“Don’t worry, I thought he was cool! He was doing a mural with Bokuto!” Kenma made a face at both those names being featured in the same sentence.

“You met them at the same time? What a nightmare,” Kenma grimaced. “I see them both enough when I visit.”

“Yeah, how’s the project going with Kuroo?” Hinata asked.

“It’s going pretty well, I guess. Kuroo may be annoying but he makes good character designs and doesn’t complain about all the backgrounds I’ve planned. I’ve been coding a lot, and it’s starting to come together.”

“Cool! When can I play it?”

“Wait another year, maybe. It’s still not very good.”

“I’m sure it’s awesome! Also, I’m super hungry because I haven’t had lunch yet, so do you wanna get some food now?” Kenma nodded his assent and the two headed inside. The food talk made Hinata get on the topic of breakfast, which of course led to how Suga was doing, which led to talk about the dorm, and of course, Kageyama. He had texted Kenma about him, relaying his new plan.

“I bet he’s already perfected his playing to the recording by now,” Hinata said as the pair sat down, now with sandwiches. “He’s super talented, he played a piece just by listening to it once! Isn’t that awesome?” Kenma nodded, choosing to take a bite of his sandwich rather than reply.

“He’s super nervous about the performance, even though he won’t admit it. I can just tell, you know? But he’s gonna be great!”

“I’m sure he will be,” Kenma replied. He was used to this, Hinata loved to talk about Kageyama. He and Suga had already started a betting pool for when they would start dating. But for now, Hinata was talking about Kageyama like he was the coolest person he knew, and was probably completely oblivious to any feelings. He’d always been like that.

“Nothing else has really been happening around here, apart from all those things. Your school probably has tons of awesome stuff happening!”

“Hm. Not really. What about your art classes?” Hinata was immediately quieted when Kenma said “art classes.” He hasn't really talked much about them once he started. It wasn’t that they were bad! He was learning a lot! But he didn’t really want to admit how he was struggling in a lot of them.

“They’re fine. It’s fine!” Hinata said, trying to quickly cover for his bout of silence. Kenma raised an eyebrow, and Hinata knew it was no use to lie.

“Okay! They aren’t completely fine! I’m just really not good at all the technical know-how and stuff! How should I know the ratio of arm to leg to head or whatever on a human body? I have no idea how perspective works! People have said my birds look like weird blobs in critique, and I hate using rulers! The assignments just feel really restrictive, and I want to be creative!” Hinata finished his rant, dramatically laying his head on the table.

“Hm.” Kenma took a sip of his drink, looking at Hinata draped on the table. “I don’t know about art, but maybe you can think about it like coding.” Hinata sat up off the table.

“Coding?”

“When you’re coding something, you have to be precise. If one bracket is missing or one period is misplaced, everything will far apart. But, you can still be creative anyway. Even though there are rules, you can still make things that are really fun and interesting. Video games, websites, all that. The rules are there to expand the possibilities.”

Hinata tilted his head at Kenma, taking in everything he said. Kenma didn’t really talk much, so when he did, it was usually important. Hinata wanted to understand, he really did! But Kenma’s words still had trouble getting through to him.

“I don’t know, I just don’t get how rules help expand possibilities! Maybe I’ll figure it out later,” Hinata said. A small pout was still left on his lips. He wanted to understand, but all the art rules just made him feel stifled.

“I’m sure you will,” Kenma replied quietly.

“Oh, something else cool that happened was Daichi let us help him glaze some pots he made! He said they were for an assignment about the structure and shape and pottery techniques so the color didn’t matter, and it was really fun!”

Hinata continued to carry the conversation steering it away from art classes. The two continued to sit and talk for a few hours. Hinata was able to get a little more information from Kenma about his new game, Kenma asked about how his roommate was, all basic things. Eventually Kenma had to leave so he could head back to Tokyo Tech. Hinata got him a slice of apple pie to go from the cafe as a parting gift, and Kenma was gone once again.

On the walk back to the dorms, Kenma’s words still stuck in his mind. Rules and specificities were always pretty useless to him. Wasn’t it about how the painting felt more than it was about if your shading was right? Well, his teachers didn’t think so. But why? Art is purely creative. At least, in Hinata’s opinion. Rules just muddied the water.

\---------------------------------------------------- 

After a quick stop at the dorm, Hinata walked to the studio, aiming to finish a homework assignment. Paint the room you were in. It was a bit boring if you asked Hinata, but at least the art studio was full of stuff. It was colorful and exciting to look at. If he was painting a tree or something, well, then it was questionable if he would even do the assignment.

He noticed the practice room Tsukishima and Kageyama used had it’s door closed with a “Practice in progress!” sign on the handle. He hoped that actual practice was happening rather than the constant arguments.

Slipping into the art studio, Hinata pulled up the piece he was working on. The teacher had wanted them to focus on detail, so this project was taking a little longer. The basics were done, but Hinata still had to go in and add the smaller touches, colors, all that.

He got to work.

And then, only twenty minutes later, his work was interrupted by the door across the hall opening and familiar colors filling his vision.

“I still think you could slow down more in the second measure in section B.”

“I still think you could stop flubbing the notes in section C.”

“Tch. Whatever.”

Tsukishima and Kageyama’s telltale voices drifted in the halls, but they weren’t as on edge as usual. There was still tension in the air between them, but it seemed to have lessened a significant degree. Hinata looked in the doorway to see Tsukishima leaving, throwing his bag over his shoulder. Kageyama came into view after that, but looked into the art studio room. Hinata’s eyes met his. Kageyama then changed course and headed into the art room to where Hinata was painting.

“How did it go? Sounded like you two weren’t at each other’s throats for once,” Hinata said.

“Yeah. It was better. We actually got through the whole thing for once.”

“Awesome! So my plan worked!”

“I still think we’re playing it wrong, but I guess for the purpose of the project.” Hinata frowned at those words. Why was he so obsessed with it being played “right?”

“How is it wrong? It’s music, as long as you’re playing the right notes then it’s right? Right?” Kageyama rolled his eyes at Hinata.

“There’s a way it’s supposed to be played. A way it’s supposed to sound.”

“Really? I mean, I thought music was fun and creative! Can’t you mix it up?”

“No! Music is precise! There’s a right way to do it! It’s not like painting!” Kageyama’s brow was furrowed, and his eyes were intense. Hinata looked right back at him.

“I don’t know much about music, but I think it’s still something creative! It doesn't have to be perfect or whatever, ” Hinata argued.

“I think it does.” Kageyama’s statement held an air of finality to it. Hinata wasn’t one to back down, but he also knew that he wasn’t going to get anywhere anyway. He had already solved the Tsukishima problem, so maybe he should take it one victory at a time. Hinata turned back to his painting.

“If you want to stick around, I have to finish this painting. You can practice if you want,” Hinata said. Though the subject change was abrupt, Kageyama was accepting of it, opening his violin case.

Hinata painted while Kageyama played, their usual routine. However, Hinata felt a slight strain in the air. He was holding his brush a little tighter than usual, and Kageyama’s playing felt a little aggressive. 

_It was probably just because he was with Tsukishima and then I pushed him on his whole perfection issue,_ Hinata rationalized. As time went on, his grip on the brush loosened and Kageyama’s playing calmed down. When Hinata finished, they both packed up their things, Hinata yelling at Kageyama to race him to the dorm once they had left the building.

Hinata’s laughter in the air and the sound of Kageyama’s feet steadily behind him, things were better. Looking back, Hinata saw Kageyama right on his tail, with a small smile on his face. His hair was messy from the wind and sweat, and his eyes held a determined gleam. Hinata didn’t want to look away, but he managed to pull his eyes forward again so he wouldn’t trip.

The two collapsed in the entryway to the dorm, breathing heavily.

“I won that time,” Hinata panted.

“That’s only the second time you’ve won running,” Kageyama responded, also breathless.

“Puts me up by 1 though. 31-30.”

“It’s those stupid card games.”

“You’re just mad because I’m better at cards than you.”

“Shut up.” Kageyama playfully hit Hinata as they both lay on the floor. They turned their heads to each other, breaths finally evening out. Kageyama’s face was mostly free of tension, mouth still frowning slightly but eyes twinkling. After a moment of looking at each other, Kageyama quickly turned away and stood up.

“Come on dumbass, I’m hungry and there’s probably food in the fridge.”

Hinata stood up after him, the two walking down the hall to the kitchen. As they raided the fridge, making fun of each other’s food tastes, Hinata smiled.

He didn’t ever want to let this go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all, thanks for reading! Fun fact: we’re at over 100 pages in my google doc! (I am a few chapters ahead in writing as of now, I like to stay ahead of the game for the bad weeks when I don't have good things to write so I can always have something to post on time!)
> 
> ALSO ALSO ALSO Please check out this post from fakeplant, they did some amazing artwork!  
> https://fake-plant.tumblr.com/post/618681040424386560/paintings-inspired-by-i-can-hear-the-universe
> 
> Thank you again for tuning in to this fine fanfic, as always the next chapter will be up within the week, and come chat with me @squydneyyy on tumblr if ya wanna!


	9. Wall Murals and Backstories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The accompaniment is putting Tsukishima and Kageyama on edge. With Kageyama doing a bit of a disappearing act, Hinata finds other friends to talk to.

Tsukishima and Kageyama’s performance was coming up fast. It wasn’t a performance for the public, just one for the class. Still, it was putting both of them on edge. Tsukishima was more irritated than usual, and that was saying something. Kageyama too. Everyone could sense the growing tension every time they were in the room.

“It’s probably just nerves. Everyone gets nervous sometimes, even those two,” Suga said when Daichi asked him about it. Tsukishima had dropped in, not speaking to anyone in the kitchen before immediately leaving. And no one had seen Kageyama all day.

“Are performances really that scary?” Daichi asked. Suga shrugged.

“Depends on the person, and the performance. Those two don’t like working with each other, and from what I know, they both seem to be perfectionists. This project isn’t meant to be perfect, but they can’t stand that idea. They don’t want to give a mediocre performance. And they don’t want to perform together. So even for this little class show, they’re on edge.”

“Wow Suga. You’re pretty observant.”

“Well, I’m the RA, it’s my job to look out for everyone in the dorm. Hey, aren’t you an RA too?” Daichi frowned, swatting Suga on the arm.

“Shut up! I’m stuck with Nishinoya and Tanaka a lot more than you.” Suga hummed at this, looking up when a door slammed. He recognized the footsteps of Kageyama leaving the dorm in a hurry.

“I still worry about them though. Kageyama and Tsukishima both,” Suga said, turning back to his paper on the dining room table.

“Don’t be too worried. They each have someone to turn to,” Daichi responded from next to him.

“I guess so,” Suga sighed. “I can only hope Hinata and Yamaguchi can keep them from killing each other or someone else before the performance date.”

“It’s only a day or two away, right? They’ll be fine.”

\---------------------------------------------------- 

Hinata could not find Kageyama. Which was very strange, because Kageyama was not really the type to go out much. If not with Hinata, he was almost always in one of four places:  
1\. Class  
2\. His room  
3\. The practice room  
4\. Walking between those areas

Hinata knew he didn’t have class, and Suga told him that Kageyama had already left his room. However, the practice room was empty. Hinata even tried texting him, but that was a lost cause too.

With his classes being over and no Kageyama to bug, Hinata found himself standing in the quad doing absolutely nothing for about a minute. And a minute was about as long as he could stand there doing nothing before he set off in search of something to do.

Walking through the campus, Hinata took the time to admire the place. A few murals were being added to for projects by older students, some classes were being taken outside, and many students were simply sitting at benches or under trees getting some work done while the weather was still good. Autumn was about to hit the campus, trees already showing signs of oranges, reds, and browns. A slight chill had hit the air, and soon it would be too cold, windy, and rainy to do anything outside. It was nice to see people taking advantage of it.

Hinata wandered through the music buildings, hearing symphonies of color coming from some of the open windows. He found himself stopping and enjoying the view, wisps of bright hues dancing and shifting right before his eyes. He snickered when he saw the occasional wrong note, but overall, it was pretty clean. Lost in the music and color around him, Hinata didn’t notice two figures approaching. That is, of course, until one decided to make his presence known with a very loud-

“HEY HEY HEY! Hinata!”

Hinata was shaken out of the music to see Bokuto waving, Akaashi standing politely beside him.

“Bokuto! Hello!” Hinata waved back. Bokuto walked up to him and dramatically put an arm around his shoulder.

“My young student! It seems it is fate that we run into each other again!”

“I wouldn’t say fate as much as chance. You do go to the same school,” Akaashi cut in.

“Well, I say fate! It’s a big school!”

“Sure.”

“ANYWAY, Akaashi and I were just about to go to the mural so I could work on it some more! Wanna come?”

Hinata considered his options. Keep wandering, or hang out with Bokuto. Well, considered is a strong word. The choice was pretty obvious.

“I’d love to come along!” Hinata responded excitedly. Bokuto whooped, his voice echoing along the walls.

“Bokuto, please try to keep it down. Classes are still going on.”

“Akaashi, you’re no fun!”

Hinata laughed as Akaashi ushered along a pouting Bokuto, the three heading to where the mural was.

\---------------------------------------------------- 

The dorms weren’t too far away from the music building they were in front of. As they walked, Bokuto explained how he was at the music buildings to see Akaashi after class before working on his mural. The mural had gotten a lot better recently, the shapes of the cats and owls appearing. Of course, it was still pretty abstract at that stage, details not really coming in until later. Bokuto described how awesome it would look, Akaashi walking silently behind them.

Eventually, they made it to the wall, where someone was already working. Kuroo turned around at the sound of their approach.

“Took you long enough, bird brain! Oho, and it seems you’ve brought a friend.” Kuroo smiled slyly as Hinata waved. “Where’s your boyfriend today, shrimp?” Hinata felt his entire face go very red.

“My who-what? I don’t have a boyfriend! And Kageyama’s working on his performance thing today!” Hinata said quickly. Kuroo laughed.

“Ah, no boyfriend, yet you knew who I was talking about.” Hinata’s blush went back into overdrive. He stammered, trying to find words.

“Kuroo, quit antagonizing him. You’re no better, pining after one person for two years. In fact, I would say you are far worse. Make fun of others when, or should I say if, you get your own life together,” Akaashi said. His words were not spoken with much snark or sarcasm, but brutal honesty. Kuroo stared at Akaashi for a moment.

“You got me there,” he eventually said. “Now, Bokuto, are you going to stand around, or are you going to get painting?”

“Oh, right!” Bokuto sprang into action, pulling his backpack off his shoulders and emptying out brushes and supplies. Kuroo had most of the paint by him in buckets, which Bokuto hauled over to the middle of the wall. Grabbing brushes and picking paints, Bokuto got to work spreading color on the wall.

Akaashi and Hinata watched from the sideline as the other two worked.

“I hope Kuroo’s comments didn’t bother you. He can be an ass sometimes.” Hinata nearly got whiplash spinning his head to Akaashi. He didn’t think that Akaashi was capable of swearing. Akaashi only gave him a small smile.

“Oh! Oh no, they didn’t really bother me, not really, no!” Hinata smiled brightly, clasping his hands behind his back and rocking on his heels.

“Whatever you say,” Akaashi replied. His silver voice carried a slightly playful lilt to it, just under the surface.

“Don’t worry about me!” Hinata put his hands on his hips. “I have thick skin!”

“You’re short!” Kuroo yelled. With that, Hinata wilted, Akaashi put his head in his hand, Kuroo laughed like a hyena, and Bokuto slapped Kuroo’s arm with a paintbrush.

“Ignore Kuroo, I’m the better painter away!” Bokuto boasted. “Come check this out!” Hinata went closer to the mural, able to see the changes that had been made. Shapes of cats and owls were starting to take form on the wall. Hinata recognized the colors of the first owl. It looked exactly like Bokuto’s hair.

“This one matches you!” Hinata said, pointing at it.

“Yeah! We’re basing all of them on the people in our dorms! This one is me, and this one,” Bokuto gestured to the owl next to his, “Is Akaashi! I’m adding Konoha then Komi and everyone else!”

“Same over here,” Kuroo said. The first cat was an inky black and had a weird hairstyle. It was obvious who that was. There was also a long grey cat next to a shorter light brown one, and a cat with a mohawk. Then Hinata noticed one next to the black cat. It looked like someone he knew. Someone with that same two-toned hair.

“Hey, what’s Kenma doing on this side?” Hinata pointed at the cat. Kuroo stiffened.

“Uh, he just spent so much time at Nekoma last year, and visits often enough, that he’s basically part of the dorm at this point!” Kuroo sped through the sentence sheepishly, not making eye contact.

“It’s because he loooovveees Kenma!” Bokuto cut in.

“Shut up!” Kuroo threw a paintbrush, which was easily dodged by a laughing Bokuto.

Hinata stood completely still for a moment, processing the information. Kuroo was in love with Kenma? Computer game childhood friend Kenma?

“You like Kenma?” he finally voiced. Kuroo rolled his eyes.

“Yes, yes, I like Kenma. It’s not a big deal! I love him, he probably doesn’t like me, and I’m fine living with that constant pain.”

“You got that from iCarly,” Bokuto said.

“Maybe.”

“Wait wait wait,” Hinata started. “Why don’t you just tell him?” Kuroo looked at Hinata like he was crazy.

“No way! We’re friends, I don't want to ruin that, plus we’re partners on a project.” Kuroo turned away and kept painting, like the conversation was already over.

“He wouldn’t ruin a project or a friendship over something like that!” Hinata shouted. He just couldn’t believe Kuroo thought that. Why not just tell the person you like?

“Well, would you just tell Kageyama you liked him?” Kuroo asked.

“What? I don’t like him!” Hinata replied. Why was everyone saying that? Kuroo and Bokuto blinked at him, not responding for a moment.

“Wait… you really don’t like him?” Kuroo asked. Hinata stopped at that question. Firstly, it sounded far more sincere than Kuroo usually sounded. And secondly, did he like Kageyama? He liked to play uno with him, and listen to the violin. He liked to paint when he was around, and race with him on campus, and eat pork buns with him. And sometimes when he was next to Kageyama, he felt like there was a weird whirlpool in his stomach. Only sometimes though. Yeah, that was normal. He didn’t like Kageyama, no way. He was just a friend.

Almost like he could sense Hinata’s spiral of thoughts, Kuroo quickly cut in.

“Who cares about all this love stuff anyway. You’re here to learn about painting, right? Well, we’re two amazing third year painters, so I think we could teach you a thing or two.”

Hinata was grateful for the distraction, eagerly nodding and the conversation was flipped over to that of art rather than love. However, in the back of Hinata’s mind, a small itch had appeared. And from a few feet away, Akaashi watched the three excitable artists talk rapidly, a small frown on his face.

\---------------------------------------------------- 

Eventually it got dark and Kuroo and Bokuto began complaining about being hungry. Hinata realized it was pretty late, and he should probably head back to his own dorm. He waved goodbye to the three as he began the trek back to his dorm. It was getting darker a bit earlier nowadays, but there were still plenty of students out and about all over the school. Hinata hummed a little tune as he began to skip.

However, it was not too long until his journey was cut short. In front of the studios, Hinata saw a student slip in. A student with a violin case. A student he recognized, who he hadn’t seen all day. Quicky Hinata changed his course and headed straight into the studio. He was surprised to see the figure disappear into a door on the left rather than the right. Into the art room. More specifically, into the art room Hinata had his setup in. Hinata began to walk a little faster.

Rounding the corner into the art room, Hinata saw Kageyama at his art station, looking at one of his paintings.

“Kageyama! What are you doing?!” Hinata yelled, pointing a dramatic finger. Kageyama looked up, startled. His frowning expression faltered for a moment, but he regained his composure quickly after seeing it was Hinata. His face twisted back into an angry one.

“Dumbass, stop yelling! And what are you doing here?” Kageyama fired back.

“This is my art studio?”

The two stood in silence after that remark, Kageyama sputtering a little.

“Well, I mean, why are you here? Did you follow me or something?” Kageyama’s blue voice was uncertain and a bit choppy. Looking at his face, there was a slight pink undercurrent. Hinata thought he would never see the day. Kageyama was _embarrassed._

“I did not follow you, and it doesn’t matter anyway! What are you looking at?” Hinata marched quickly over to Kageyama, turning around and looking at the painting.

It was the second one he did while with Kageyama. The rainbow forest fire. He remembered hearing the notes, fast and precise, their color swirling and mixing and igniting something in Hinata that forced him to paint. To put the colors on canvas. To show Kageyama what his music looked like.

The two stood there for a minute, looking at the painting together.

“I like this painting.” Kageyama eventually said. Hinata turned to him quickly. But Kageyama wasn’t looking at him. “I didn’t think my playing could look so… nice. Colorful.”

Kageyama’s voice held a different quality than usual. His blue voice was often the ocean in a storm, boisterous and choppy, full of angry waves and whirlpools. It was alive in that sense. But at this moment, it was not like that. It was quiet. Not calm, or serene. But quiet, still, almost a bit unsure. Hinata had heard that only twice before. Once, when he first met Kageyama. And again, when Kageyama saw the fire painting for the first time.

It was almost unnerving, to hear Kageyama unsure. His playing was never unsure. It was precise, concentrated, and confident. And his words were always definitive and commanding. However, in this art room, only one light on, crickets chirping outside, Kageyama seemed very small.

“You and Tsukishima have your performance tomorrow, right?” Hinata asked quietly. Kageyama only nodded. “You’re nervous.” It was less a question than a statement.

“No, I’m not! I don’t get nervous!” Kageyama argued, arms crossing over his chest. Hinata looked at him, noticing how he caved in slightly on himself.

“You know, it’s okay if you’re nervous.”

“I’m not!”

They started at each other for a moment, shaky blue eyes boring into set brown ones. Hinata tilted his head slightly, and Kageyama slumped.

“Ok! Fine! I’m nervous, and I hate it! I’m never nervous! All the other exams and performances I did were completely fine! I didn’t feel nervous at all! Why is this one making me freak out for no reason?” The familiar angry edge had come back to Kageyama’s voice, which was a comfort to Hinata.

“Everyone gets nervous Stupidyama, you aren’t the only one! When I had my first critique, I had to go to the bathroom like five times beforehand,” Hinata said.

“Well, this is different, I’m not an idiot like you.” Hinata chose to ignore the latter half of the statement.

“Why is this different? It’s just any other performance.”

“No it’s not! Because I have to play with someone else!” With that, Kageyama turned away completely. Hinata stood for a moment, debating what to do. He’d seem Kageyama irritated, competitive, angry, prideful, even content when he was playing or eating food. But he hadn’t seen this. He didn’t really know what to do about this. But, there’s a first time for everything.

“Why is it bad to play with someone else?” Hinata asked carefully.

“Because last time it happened, it didn’t end very well.” And there was the root. Hinata had heard the rumors. The king. Tsukishima’s taunts. But he never got the full story. Here, alone in the art room, maybe he would.

Hinata took a step towards Kageyama.

“What happened?”

“You mean you don’t know?” Kageyama asked, incredulous. Hinata shook his head. “Fine. I’ll tell you.

“It was a public performance at Kitagawa Daiichi. I was playing a piece with a trio. Kindaichi on cello, Kunimi on viola. I know I hadn’t been the… easiest to work with during rehearsals. But I was just trying to make us better! They hated it, called me the tyrant king who played like a robot and ruled like a dictator. I was happy we were finally at the performance. I could go back to playing on my own afterwards. But, during the performance, they just… stopped playing. I was standing on stage, in front of all those people, playing alone. I looked ridiculous. And there were people from colleges there. From Aoba Johsai, and Shiratorzawa. Colleges that saw me looking like an idiot on stage.

“I was so mad, I was ready to yell at them, but I also realized that they had stopped at the same time. They had planned it. And none of my classmates felt sorry for me, they all just looked at me like I deserved it. Maybe I did. So, I didn’t do anything. They didn’t say anything. I just left the theater. And that was my last performance at Kitagawa Daiichi.”

Kageyama took a moment, his eyes turned to the floor, an unreadable expression on his face.

“I hate playing with other people. I don’t want to rely on someone who could mess up so easily, or leave me in the dirt. I wish I could just play both parts instead.”

Hinata let all the words wash over him. That’s where the king nickname came from? His fellow students bullying him? And they stopped playing on stage? Wouldn’t that affect their grade too? Questions ran through his mind, but all Hinata could say was-

“Those guys are idiots! Who cares about them! And they gave you a way cool nickname, because you are a king, but in a good way! You’re amazing at music! Plus, Tsukishima may be an asshole, but he would never leave you hanging on stage. You guys have been playing way better together recently. And even if he does, I’ll beat him up for you, so stop worrying!”

Kageyama just stared at him through his speech. After a beat, he spoke.

“You think you could beat Tsukishima in a fight?”

Hinata hit him on the shoulder, nose scrunching up.

“That’s all you have to say? You jerk! I was trying to be nice!” Kageyama and Hinata play-fought for a minute, though it was mostly Hinata struggling against Kageyama holding him back. But there was a slight smirk on Kageyama’s face, so though Hinata was losing the fight he considered it a win.

Eventually they pushed away from each other, slightly breathless. Hinata immediately turned and grabbed a fresh canvas.

“Play your favorite song Kageyama! I want to paint!” Kageyama grumbled at the request, but got out his violin anyway. Hinata swiped up his paint brushes and paints, and the two fell back into a familiar rhythm.

Hinata had no idea if this was actually Kageyama’s favorite song. He hadn’t heard him play it before. That was okay though, it didn’t have to really be his favorite. As long as Kageyama was less nervous and not thinking about the past, Hinata was happy.

The song brought a lot of cooler colors in. It was soothing and relaxing, giving and taking. A push-and-pull covered in deep blues and greens with the occasional hint of silver breaking through. Hinata began to put careful strokes on the page, getting lost in the music. He almost felt like he could paint this scene with his eyes closed. Almost.

A wave softly crashed onto the canvas, delicately drifting up the sandy shore. Hinata hung a moon in the sky, it’s silver light reflecting carefully on the water below. The whole scene is bathed in blue, the sky salted with a few stars but not many. To the side, Hinata swiped his brush and created the trunk of a lazy palm tree swaying in some non-existent sea salt breeze. The leaves hung down, a rich green obscured with shadows.

Hinata put the finishing touches on the palm tree as the final note rang out. Looking at the painting, he realized it wasn’t quite done yet. Kageyama looked over his shoulder as he quickly grabbed the brown once more and swiped. A smaller trunk appeared next to the larger one, big leaves floating gracefully. After finishing the second tree, he smiled.

“What’s the other tree for? It looked fine before,” Kageyama said.

“The first tree seemed lonely. I gave him a friend.”

“Oh.” Hinata turned to Kageyama, putting his brush down.

“Was that really your favorite song? It was really nice,” Hinata said.

“Oh, well. I don’t really have a favorite. It was someone else’s favorite.” Kageyama seemed intentionally vague, and though it was obvious there was more to the story, Hinata dropped the subject.

“Cool. Well, you better pack up your violin, because I know where Suga hid the Uno cards. And also I’m getting a head start.”

With that, Hinata quickly packed up his supplies and began to run out the door, Kageyama yelling after him. Of course, as always, he waited for Kageyama. His win never really felt like it counted when he got such a big head start.

Soon, the two were racing through the quad, Kageyama pulling ahead of Hinata in the end, and both of them leaning against the dorm walls catching their breath.

“I… win… again… idiot,” Kageyama puffed out. “It’s 37… to 36… me.”

“Whatever… I’ll beat you… at cards,” Hinata replied, still out of breath. Hinata pushed himself off the wall first, grabbing Kageyama’s arm and dragging him inside. The two spent the next hour playing silent Uno. Well, as-silent-as-they-could-be Uno. 

They stopped playing a little earlier than they usually would, citing Kageyama’s performance as important and that he needed rest. They headed back to their individual dorms, but before the split, Hinata looked back.

“Hey Kageyama,” he said, almost nervously. Kageyama turned to him. “Whenever I was nervous about my art or feeling down, my mom would always say, ‘Shouyou. Remember. Take a breath. You are good.’ So tomorrow, remember that! You’re good!”

Kageyama just looked at him, and then nodded slowly. Relieved that he didn’t sound like a complete crazy person, Hinata gave him a huge grin.

“Awesome! You’re gonna be fine, so don’t freak about it Stupidyama!” Kageyama turned away, but Hinata still saw the corner of his mouth turn up in something like a smile.

“Don’t worry, I’m not gonna freak out like you, idiot.”

“Shut up!”

With that, the two went their separate ways, feeling a little lighter than before. Hinata quietly closed his door, and changed into his Pjs before hopping into bed.

Sitting under the covers, Hinata found himself to not be tired at all. He thought back through the day. About what Kageyama said. About what those assholes did. Who just stops playing in the middle of a performance? He wonders what school they got into. Probably nowhere good if they just stopped playing. He was mad at those guys. Kageyama is awesome! Sure he can be a little moody but he’s so talented! How could they not see that? He’s the best!

Hinata sighed, shaking his head. He shouldn’t worry about those guys. He’d never meet them anyway. His train of thought went even further back in the day, to meeting Bokuto and Kuroo. They showed him a lot of cool stuff about painting, and even let him help a little (as long as he didn’t tell their teacher). But before that, he remembers Kuroo saying he liked Kenma.

And then asking him if he liked Kageyama.

Did he like Kageyama? The spiral of questions and thoughts came back to him again. The butterfly feeling in his chest, the squeeze in his heart, how he maybe spent a little too long looking at Kageyama when he wore shorts, how he loved to see him smile, how he hated the way he was today. Quiet and slow and still. 

What did it mean to like someone anyway?

He liked Kageyama, yeah. Liked to hang out with him, to play cards with him, to hear him play and paint near him. He liked how Kageyama never let him win at races, and how he would compete with him. Does that mean he likes Kageyama in… a different way? He likes to hang out and text Kenma. But Kenma doesn’t give him the weird heart-and-stomach feelings. Is that what it means to like someone? Intestinal issues and heart problems?

Hinata put a pillow over his face. This was all too complicated. Liking people. He turned on his side, deciding to think about something else, to just force sleep to come. He could ask someone about it later.

But somewhere in his mind, he knew. He hadn’t had this feeling before, and though he pushed it away somewhat he also wanted to feel it all the time. He had seen the movies his mom loved so much, about the boy and the girl and the getting together. His mom always saying “you’ll find someone like that someday.” As much as he wanted to deny it, the smallest part of his voice spoke up, in the very back of his head, right as he was falling asleep.

_You like Kageyama Tobio._

It was a gut punch, a whirlwind, a long walk off a short pier.

_I like Kageyama Tobio._

_…_

_Oh no._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaa I've been so excited to post this chapter and now it's here! I hope y'all enjoyed it, I've been having a lot of fun writing! If you did like it, kudos and comments are always super appreciated!!! As always, the next update will be within the week, and come hang out on Tumblr @squydneyyy if you want to chat about anything! Thank you for reading!!!


	10. Not-Dates and Rainy Drawings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally done with the "company" project, Kageyama and Hinata get a bite to eat.

Hinata was tapping his pencil in art class all morning. At least three people had told him to stop, but he just couldn’t. His mind was on the music classrooms, on Kageyama and Tsukishima, and on the performance that would finally end their partnership, to the relief of the entire dorm.

Their class officially started in thirty minutes, but he knew they were probably getting one more practice in. Then, it was showtime. And Hinata would probably be the last to know how it went, because right after his drawing class, he had another critique in his painting class. He was dreading it.

So, the combined anxiety about Kageyama and the critique were causing him to be even more spastic than usual, which was saying something. He was just happy the drawing class wasn’t too much longer.

The teacher finally let them go, and Hinata was the first out the door, heart racing and feet moving freely underneath him as he released all his pent up energy. He made his way back to the dorm for a quick pit stop (and a bathroom break- he always needed to go before critique) before going back to the art building and heading into another classroom, painting in hand.

The critique was on a perspective assignment, one that Hinata had barely managed to finish. He had hated it. Why was it so easy for everyone else to understand how perspective worked? He just couldn’t figure it out. No matter what, it just looked wonky. It wasn’t terrible, his landscape paintings always looked good. But now that he was trying to push it, make it harder, well, it just wasn’t working.

Sighing, Hinata took a seat in class, still twiddling his pencil. He didn’t even know why he still had his pencil. Maybe just to have something to fiddle with, his nerves still getting the best of him. His mind drifted to Kageyama, hoping he was alright, but he was quickly brought back to attention as class began.

\----------------------------------------------------

Well, it went as well as Hinata expected. Which meant very badly. His teacher wasn’t happy that he hadn’t taken the advice to actually use a ruler, her harsh highlighter yellow burned behind his eyelids. It wasn’t all bad, there were some nice comments about the composition and use of color. But for the most part, it was hard to get over his terrible perspective skills. Dragging his feet, Hinata meandered out of class with a pout.

He was so caught up in his own head, he was surprised to see Kageyama sitting at the dining room table. His brain suddenly remembered that Kageyama had a performance today that Hinata had been seeing progress for the better part of two weeks. 

“KAGEYAMAAAA!” He yelled, rushing up to the table. Kageyama looked slightly startled, but Hinata didn’t care. “HOW WAS THE PERFORMANCE?”

“Quit yelling, idiot, I’m right here,” Kageyama mumbled.

“Well?” Hinata said, at a slightly more appropriate volume. He was bouncing on the balls of his feet.

“It went fine.” Despite the lackluster review, Hinata noticed a small sparkle in his eyes, and a lightness to his voice, the dark blue dancing around his eyes.

“Yes!” Hinata said, jumping up in the air. “We should celebrate!”

“We don’t need to celebrate, it wasn’t that big of a deal,” Kageyama said. But Hinata was barely listening.

“What should we do? We need a cake! Where do we even get a cake? Maybe we could go get some food instead! What restaurants are even on campus? A cafe? Not like there’s anything fancy around here… we should get balloons! Do they sell balloons anywhere? Oh! Party poppers! Those are the best!” Hinata’s ramblings continued, much to Kageyama’s annoyance. Though even he had to admit, it was a little endearing.

Eventually, Hinata had worn himself out enough talking and turned quickly to Kageyama.

“What’d you think?”

“I wasn’t listening.”

“Mean!”

“We can go get food though.” That brightened Hinata’s face significantly, and he ran around the table to drag Kageyama up, telling him about this cafe that had great pie and they could have a celebration pie, if that’s what he was into. Hinata kept talking, looking forward, and behind him, Kageyama had a slight smile on his face.

\----------------------------------------------------

Hinata and Kageyama sat at the same table Hinata was at when he was there with Kenma. Kageyama put the light jacket he was wearing over the back of his chair as Hinata was trying to stay calm, realizing that this was kind of like a _date_. With _Kageyama_. Who he recently realized he had maybe a little bit of a very large crush on.

“Kageyama, you hold the table, and I can go inside and get us food! What do you want?” Hinata asked.

“I don’t know, I’ve never been here.”

“Oh right! I can go grab you a menu from inside!” Hinata hopped up and ran inside, the nervous wishy-washy feeling stuck in his gut. Why was he nervous about Kageyama? Sure, he just figured out he liked him, but that didn’t need to change anything! Kageyama was still the temperamental, competitive, annoying, talented, passionate, interesting, good looking, okay we’re stopping now.

Hinata took a breath as he swiped two menus from the holder, bringing them back to the table. He slid one over to Kageyama and hid his face behind the other, trying to push the red out of his cheeks. Eventually, Kageyama cleared his throat.

“The custard pudding looks good.” His voice had a slightly awkward twinge to it. Hinata couldn’t blame him, he felt awkward too. And it was probably his fault. So, he tried to make up for it, putting the most normal smile possible on his face.

“Yeah! I think I’ll get the pork buns.”

“You always get pork buns. There are only two places on campus that sell them and you managed to drag me to both of them.”

“Shut up! Last time I was here I got a sandwich!”

“Sure.”

“I did!” Hinata swiped the menu from Kageyama, putting it on top of his own and getting up from the table. As he did, Kageyama pulled out his wallet, grabbing a few bills.

“Here, this should cover it,” he said, holding the money out to Hinata.

“Nope! I’m paying! This is still technically a celebration of you not failing class!”

“What? No way, just take the money!”

“Nope, sorry yama!” Hinata said in a sing-song voice, starting to walk away backwards.

“Dumbass, just take the money!” Kageyama said a little louder, getting up from his chair.

“You can’t make me!” Hinata yelled, and then quickly turned around and ran back into the cafe. Kageyama sighed and fell back into his chair.

Inside, Hinata put the menus back and hopped over to the counter, asking for the custard pudding and two meat buns. Luckily it wasn’t really crowded in the cafe at that time, so he only had to wait a few minutes before he could bring the two plates back out to the table. Kageyama was sitting there with a frown.

“Here you go, grumpy-yama!” Hinata said cheerfully, placing the pudding in front of him.

“You should have let me pay,” Kageyama grumbled. He still pulled the plate closer to him, picking up the spoon on the side.

“Nope, I paid, and now the scores are 37 all.”

“What? No way! That doesn’t count!” Kageyama argued. Hinata smiled back cheekily.

“We both wanted to pay, but I paid, so I won! Now eat your stupid pudding!” With that, Hinata took a large bite of a meat bun. Though Kageyama grumbled, he did start eating the pudding.

For a few minutes, it was silent with some chewing noises in between. But Hinata was a fast eater, and was done with two and a half meat buns rather quickly. He looked to Kageyama, who was eating a little slower than usual.

“So Kageyama, did the performance thingy go anything other than fine? Like good, great, cool, any of that?”

Kageyama swallowed his bite of food, but didn’t meet Hinata’s eyes.

“It was fine. We performed. The teacher gave us some feedback. We weren’t the worst in the class. We weren’t the best either. It was just normal, I guess.”

“Boring! Is that really it?”

“I remember you had a critique today, why don’t you talk about that?”

“Shut up!” Hinata tore off a small piece of the outside bread of the meat bun and squashed it into a ball, throwing it at Kageyama while he sniggered at Hinata’s upset face. “Well at least you didn’t suck on stage.” Kageyama’s face contorted back to a frown.

“Yeah, but we still weren’t really good either,” he mumbled.

“Well, we’re first years, and this is the first time you’ve done a music company whatever thing.”

“Accompaniment.”

“That’s basically what I said! Anyway, it doesn’t need to be perfect, you’re learning still. All my paintings can always be improved.”

“Yeah but you suck.”

“Mean! I do not! I was just saying that I’m sure you were awesome and it doesn’t need to be flawless and all that.”

“Sure.” Kageyama took another bite of pudding. Hinata narrowed his eyes. Kageyama could be stubborn when he wanted. However, now wasn’t the time to be arguing about his perfectionist problems. It was technically a celebration. So Hinata dropped the subject and picked up the last half of the meat bun. 

“It was better because of what you said though,” Kageyama added quietly.

“What?”

“What you said,” Kageyama grumbled. “The whole, take a breath, you’re good, thing. I thought about it before we performed, and… it helped a bit.”

“Really?” Hinata almost stood up out of his chair. “I knew it would! You totally have a soft side, Kageyama!”

“Shut up and eat your meat bun asshole!” Hinata did as he was told, excitedly shoving a large bite in his mouth, thinking about what he should say next. Surprisingly, it was Kageyama who spoke first again.

“Hey, a while ago, I heard you talking with Bokuto and Kuroo about how their voices looked like different colors. What does mine look like?” Hinata looked at Kageyama with wide eyes, catching the slight blush on his face and the way his fingers fiddled with the spoon he was holding.

“Have I never told you?” Kageyama shook his head. “Well, your voice is awesome! It’s this stormy and dark sort of royal blue, that moves around like the ocean. When you’re mad, it’s all crazy and choppy, but it can also be really calm sometimes? It’s really pretty when it’s like that!” The second he said it, Hinata realized what he had just said and his hand instinctively flew to his mouth. However, Kageyama didn’t seem bothered or even suspicious at all of what Hinata said. He just looked slightly curious.

“It really looks like that?” He asked. There was that tone again, the one Kageyama seemed to take on when asking about the paintings Hinata drew. Almost like he couldn’t convince himself that his playing looked like that.

“Yeah, all the time!” Hinata replied. The inkling of wonderment in Kageyama’s eyes was quickly pushed back down, his face taking on the annoyed/angry/indifferent expression it usually wore.

“Hm. Everyone has a colored voice?”

“Mhm! Suga has light blue, and it’s soft but can be icy cold in an instant, like snow! Yachi has fluffy cotton candy pink, and Tsukishima’s is grainy light yellow, like sand.”

“Is it hard to see with all the colors in the way?”

“No, I’m used to it! I’d probably walk into a lot more poles if it was really hurting my eyes.”

“You already walk into poles.”

“I said a lot _more_ poles. And that was one time!”

“Three times.”

“No way!”

The two fell into a familiar pattern of bickering, any lingering nerves or odd feelings drifting away quickly. Hinata forgot he was even nervous at all, so caught up in the petty fights and superficial insults that never actually cut deep. Time passed faster than they anticipated, and soon the campus began to feel colder as the sun dipped lower in the sky. A shiver passed over Hinata as the fall breeze picked up, overturning leaves on the ground.

“We should probably head back,” Hinata said, a slight chatter to his teeth. The two got up, returning their plates indoors. They then set out to the dorm, Hinata holding his arms close to him to conserve heat. Why hadn’t he brought a jacket? He knew it was fall, and that the afternoon-ish heat wouldn’t last.

As he lamented his life choices, he suddenly felt something very warm drape over his shoulders. He stopped in surprise, reaching up to feel a jacket that had been placed on him. Kageyama was already a few steps ahead, so Hinata quickly stuck his arms in the too-long sleeves and caught up to Kageyama.

“Thanks, Kageyama!” He said brightly.

“Whatever. I wasn’t using it.” Despite his neutral tone, Hinata saw the slight anxiousness to his voice, and smiled to himself.

\----------------------------------------------------

Back at the dorm, Kageyama went straight to his room before Hinata could give him back his jacket. However, he stopped right before closing his door.

“38-37. I’m in the lead,” he said bluntly. Then his door slammed shut, leaving Hinata in the hall wearing a huge jacket and a confused look. A sandy voice spoke up from behind him.

“Wow, sharing clothes already, how domestic.” Hinata turned to see Tsukishima in the hall, having just left his room. “When’s the wedding, I want to make sure I have something else planned that day.” Hinata felt his face getting red, but he didn’t want to give Tsukishima the satisfaction.

“He just saw I was cold and he wasn’t using it! We aren’t dating stupidshima!” Tsukishima raised his eyebrows.

“Really? You two couldn’t get more hopeless.” With a roll of his eyes, Tsukishima turned on his heel and left the building. Hinata huffed out a breath. Tsukishima was a jerk, it didn’t do well to listen to him. He turned back to his dorm, angrily shoving his hands in his pockets.

His hand hit something.

Hinata could’ve sworn he hadn’t left anything in his pockets. Then he stopped for a moment. This wasn’t his jacket. This was Kageyama’s jacket. Grabbing onto the thing in the pocket, Hinata’s hand emerged with some crumpled bills. The same ones Kageyama had tried to give him at the cafe.

_38-37. I’m in the lead_

Hinata shook his head with a fond smile. He walked into his dorm room, placing the money on his desk. He would totally find a way to get back at him. But for now, some random inspiration had just struck.

Sitting down, Hinata got out a random paper and a pen. He began to draw two figures, one shorter, one taller. The figures were cloaked in shadow, looking like silhouettes. They also looked a little wonky. Hinata was never good at drawing things like people and animals, but he got by. They looked people-like enough. The taller held an umbrella over the both of them, the shorter leaning over to him.

Then, Hinata began to scribble over the drawing in vertical strokes. With the pen, he created a torrential downpour on top of the two figures, who stood safe together under the umbrella. It was a messy image, small and not anything like what he did for all his nice art school classes. Yet, in this, like in all the paintings he did with Kageyama, he felt it strongly. It tugged on him, the emotion within it. Simple, yet full of meanings Hinata didn’t even know. He looked at the money on the desk, and pulled on the sleeves of the zip-up hoodie. Hinata wished he could draw people better, so he could draw Kageyama how he actually looks. The way he is when he’s playing, the calm feeling washed over his face, the elegant way he stands, the command he has over the room.

The door slammed open, causing Hinata to jump in his chair.

“Hey Hinata! You’re actually doing work at a desk? Never thought I’d see the day!” Hinata recognized the alarming red voice of his roommate. Nishinoya threw his music case on the bed, coming up behind Hinata. “Ooo, that’s cute! Wish I could draw like that! Asahi was just showing me a colored pencil thingy he did and it looked like a photo! You art kids are so cool!”

“Thanks!” Hinata said, looking up at Nishinoya. He gave him a wicked smile back.

“I’m always here to bring my underclassmen some encouragement!” He said proudly. “And hey, you wanna hear this song thingy I was working on?”

“Sure!” Before Hinata had even responded, Nishinoya was grabbing his case and pulling out his golden-colored trumpet.

“Now, this would also have some other people in the background, like some piano and a little bit of percussion and bass, but I have the spotlight!” With that, he put the trumpet to his lips and began to play.

It was a fun purple-gold jazzy tune with twinges of green mixed in. Hinata smiled as he watched Nishinoya play with gusto. Still, even though it was someone else playing and a different instrument, Hinata couldn’t help but think of Kageyama playing.

When Nishinoya finished, Hinata gave an excited one-man round of applause.

“That was awesome! It was like jazzy and more fast paced, it was kind of like one I heard Kageyama play one time, it was really fast and upbeat! Music is so cool!”

“Isn’t it the best?” Nishinoya said, equally as excited. “Oh, and of course you bring it back to Kageyama,” he teased.

“What do you mean?”

“Nothing, you two are just cute together!”

“WHAT?!?” Hinata yelped, standing up with a flustered face.

“What?” Noya replied, tilting his head.

“Me and- We aren’t- Kageyama isn’t- We’re not- that’s not- together? What?” He spluttered.

“Oh, you aren’t?” Nishinoya questioned. He shrugged. “Weird.” He then packed up his trumpet, getting some sort of text from Tanaka that made him rush out of the room and into the living room of the dorm, leaving Hinata still standing in front of the desk. Hinata turned to the desk again and sat down.

Was he really that obvious? Even he had just found out, but that was like, the fourth person to say something about them dating. Maybe it was a sign. No, no way. Kageyama was… Kageyama! It would probably never be like that. Hinata took the inky drawing he made and shoved it in one of the sketchbooks lying around it. He should probably just forget about it.

Pulling out a new page, he grabbed some colored pencils and began to sketch out a green field with gold and purple flowers in it, like how Nishinoya’s song sounded.

Somehow, it didn’t feel quite the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me writing this chapter: dark google show me the milk based desserts. 
> 
> Fun fact I wrote this at like 2am so sorry for it being all over the place. I really said "how many paragraph breaks can I use in less than 2,000 words?"
> 
> Another fun fact: The rain drawing was based on how Bill Watterson does Calvin and Hobbes in the rain. He just,,,,, scribbles the rain over the drawing.
> 
> Anyway, thank you for reading! I'm really pumped for the next few chapters, we really going real plot hours people. Thank you for any and all kudos and comments, and if u wanna chat, hit me up on tumblr @squydneyyy. As per usual, an update will happen within the week! Thank you once more, have a nice day!


	11. Anatomy and Song Writing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Faced with a terrifying new art assignment, Hinata decides that Kageyama owes him for the whole company project things.

Hinata was quite sure his teacher had it out for him the second he learned about the new project.

_The Anatomy Assignment._

Even the name had a dramatic sounding twist to it. Alliterative too. And highly frightening. After the class, Hinata found himself dragging his feet as he made his way back to the dorm. Suga looked at him strangely as he fell face first onto one of the couches, holding the assignment paper.

“Hey Hinata, what’s up?” He asked, slightly concerned. Hinata just groaned into the couch and held up the paper. Suga walked over and took it from him, scanning it.

“Hm… ‘anatomy assignment.’ I think I remember Daichi doing this a few years back,” Suga mused. “Why are you so down about this? Don’t you art people have tons of assignments?” Hinata sat up, falling into the couch with his face up this time.

“Perspective and color and landscape and all that are fine, they’re really short and you only need to do one or two things for them. But this one is super long! It spans over multiple classes, like painting and drawing! It’s worth a ton of points and really complicated and I swear the professor was looking at me when she was talking about it, like she made this just to make me miserable!” Hinata threw his hand over his eyes, as Suga fixed him with a deadpan look.

“Hinata, I’m sure this project wasn’t made just to spite you. That’s ridiculous. What’s so bad about it anyway?”

“It’s everything I’m bad at! You have to learn about the anatomy of an animal or person of your choosing, and do skeleton structures and muscles and it’s super hard! I suck at this stuff!”

“Isn’t that the point of the project then? To learn and get better?”

“Ugh, but I don’t need to know all that junk, my paintings are fine!” Suga shook his head, looking a little lost.

“Maybe I should get Daichi for this…” At that, Hinata quickly sat up.

“No! You don’t need to get anyone! I’m fine doing it by myself!” Hinata grabbed the dreaded assignment sheet and marched to his room. Once inside, he sat down at his desk and stared at the sheet in front of him. It stared back. A minute passed before Hinata’s forehead met the paper, as often happens with things that frustrate him.

“What am I supposed to do?” He said to no one in particular. No one answered, but Hinata still lifted his head, the paper getting stuck a bit and falling back down. He re-read the instructions.

_The anatomy project is done to get young students to understand how to draw more realistic depictions of animals and/or people around us. To do this, the students will go through a process of breaking down the shapes and structures of their subject to better understand them, culminating in a final piece. Firstly, choose a subject. This should either be an animal of your choosing or a person who has given their explicit permission and understands that this project will take time._

_Next, paint that person or animal from memory. This does not need to be anything extravagant. This is simply to use as a comparison at the end of the project._

_Once this is done, the real work begins, starting with studying photos and videos of the animal, or if possible, the animal in real life. If you are doing a person, simply go about a day with them and observe them as well. Study the textures, colors, and way of movement. Be aware of the sizes and proportions, and the unique differences every person and animal has. Study up-close details as well, such as fur, feathers, hair, eyes, etc._

That was about where Hinata decided to stop reading. There was still plenty of information, from texture studies to sketches of muscle and bone structures to close ups to sketches in motion. Different assignments were needed for different classes at different times, which was confusing to Hinata. Why can’t each class just assign one thing?

Apparently this project was a yearly thing for all first year art students. It was meant to be for any medium, and to teach about structure and realism and blah blah blah. No matter what your favorite medium is, this project would be invading it. Even so, certain classes were required anyway. So everyone would be doing the anatomy assignment for the next month.

Hinata could only think one thing: _This sucks._

After a moment, Hinata looked at the first few assignment paragraphs again. Step one was to pick some sort of animal or a person he knows. _A person would probably be easier,_ Hinata thought. _I’ve already painted some people and done figure drawing stuff. I don’t really use animals at all._

So that was decided. It would be a person. But who? Art students were probably out because they were working on the project too. Plus, he only really knew Yamaguchi well out of the art kids. An older art student? Nope, that would be awkward. Maybe a music student? Well, they were probably just as busy with their own music stuff. He could still ask Suga. No, wait, that would be interrupting him way too much. And Suga’s really nice, so he would say yes, even if he’s working on something. Who else? Nishinoya? Maybe, but he has that extra jazz band stuff that takes up time. Who else, who else…

Kageyama.

Hinata jerked upwards. Why hadn’t he thought of it before? He already hangs out with Kageyama in the studio all the time, and outside the studio too, Kageyama doesn’t have any extra stuff, they’re already friends, plus Hinata totally saved him with the recording idea, so he owes him.

And it has nothing to do with the ever-growing crush Hinata has. Nope. Nothing at all.

Filled with new inspiration, Hinata raced out of his room and down the hall, dodging Ennoshita in the hallway and barely making it past Asahi who was entering the dorm, shouting quick apologies to the two. Outside, he leaped into action, heading towards the studio building. He would knock out the from-memory painting easy, and this project would be over in no time!

\----------------------------------------------------

Hinata was painting away when Kageyama entered, unexpectedly early, wearing a scowl. He stomped over to where Hinata was working. Hinata, in the zone, barely looked up. He was used to Kageyama’s cranky attitude by now. Even if it was a little crankier today.

Kageyama sat himself down in a stool next to Hinata with a grumble, watching Hinata add more brush strokes to a canvas that vaguely resembled a person. He set his bag down loudly, but Hinata still didn’t acknowledge him.

“Who’s that supposed to be?” Kageyama asked. The voice right behind him made Hinata jump, almost dropping the paintbrush.

“Stupidyama, don’t scare me like that!” he complained, making an effort not to look at him.

“You saw me walk in dumbass.”

“I was working!”

“Sure.” Hinata kept painting, still looking away from Kageyama. “Who’s that supposed to be anyway?”

Hinata froze. He had gotten started on the project rather quickly, without really asking. He took a deep breath, still not turning to Kageyama.

“Well, actually, it’s gonna be you,” he said, happy he wasn’t looking at Kageyama so his red race wasn’t obvious.

“What?” Kageyama sounded extremely confused and slightly shocked, the sound hollow in the room with the slightest falter.

“We have this project we have to do, about anatomy, where you have to pick an animal or person and do a bunch of pieces on them like one from memory and different bone structures and muscle and all that, and I wanna do a person, and I thought that because we spend so much time together anyway it should just be you plus you owe me because of the company thing when I had the idea to record so you can’t say no and plus it’ll be fun.” Hinata barely breathed through his rapid fire monologue, still not looking at Kageyama, but desperately wanting to turn around and see his reaction. But this painting is supposed to be from memory.

Kageyama didn’t talk for a moment. Hinata kept painting, though his strokes were shakier than before. Why was he so nervous? Okay, maybe it was weird to just start painting someone without their permission. And then also making them the focus of an entire project. So maybe it was valid to be kind of nervous, yeah.

“Sure.”

What?

“What?”

“I said sure. I’ll be your subject, or whatever.” Hinata finally ripped his eyes away from the canvas, looking at Kageyama. His face looked normal, but he could see underneath his eyes the slight remnants of shock, the hue of his cheeks was off.

“Really? Even though it’s like a month-long project?” 

“I mean like you said, we’re already here a lot together anyway. Plus, then you can help me with my stupid project.” Hinata tilted his head. How could he help with a music project?

“What project?”

“It’s this dumb project that I swear my teacher assigned just to annoy me,” Kageyama grumbled. “We have to compose our own short music piece based on a person we know. And I’m not exactly great friends with most people, plus you helped with the Tsukishima issue. So you’re the best option.”

“Why is that a dumb project? It sounds super fun! No rules, no following other people’s music, you can do what you want!”

“Well maybe it sounds fun to you, but the last thing I want to do is compose.” Kageyama spit out the last word.

“Why?” Kageyama stared at him with disbelief.

“Why? Writing songs is hard, and any I’ve tried to write all sound bad! It’s way easier to just mimic someone else’s.”

“But for your own you can put your own heart into it! Even more than when you put your own twist on a song someone else wrote. You can make it perfect!” Kageyama considered Hinata’s words, still frowning.

“I guess,” he finally relented, though irritation still stuck between his words.

“Awesome! So it’s a deal, you work on your song, and I work on my painting project, and we’re each other’s… partners? Inspirations? Muses?”

“Don’t call it muses.”

“Let’s just say partners then! Now, you get writing and I’ll get painting again!” Hinata turned to the canvas once more, dipping his brush into black paint as he got ready to start on the hair. He was surprised to see Kageyama taking out his computer from his bag out of the corner of his eye, as well as a pair of headphones. Hinata turned to him.

“Um, Kageyama. That doesn’t look like violin playing.”

“Well, your painting doesn’t look like me either.”

“Rude! The first step is a painting from memory!”

“Aren’t you breaking the rules then by looking at me?” Hinata quickly turned away.

“It doesn’t matter! What matters is why you’re on the computer!”

“If you want to know that bad, our first step is to listen to a lot of different pieces and note ones that remind us of the person so we can study them.”

“Oh. Well, play them outloud! I could use some colors.”

“I never wear colors.”

“For the background, stupid! Don’t worry, I have your monochrome look down.”

Kageyama unplugged his headphones and music filled the studio. The two then engrossed themselves in their own work. Hinata continued to paint, letting the music wash over him and enjoying the colors, though he had to say the live performances from Kageyama always looked better.

Kageyama stayed on the stool, eyes closed, computer on his lap. His face was more relaxed than usual. Occasionally he would open his eyes to type a note or pick a new piece to play on the computer. Though he would never end a piece early, Hinata could tell that he liked certain ones based on how long he let it sit, and how the faster he switched songs the more he hated it. Though he couldn’t know for sure, Hinata liked to think he could tell which songs Kageyama thought represented him best. Hopefully something nice and upbeat.

People came in and out, but no one seemed to be bothered by the music, some even seeming to enjoy it as they worked on their respective pieces. Yachi came in at one point, Hinata taking a moment to talk to her. Her focus was digital art, so she was starting on her anatomy project as well. She told Hinata she hadn’t quite decided on an animal yet, but was going to look at a few and do some drawings to see what she liked best. She fell into the room’s rhythm as well, sketching away on her tablet.

Soon the sun was setting, and Hinata finally put his brush down. He looked at the painting, pouting slightly. It was… fine. Someone who knew Kageyama could tell it was him, probably. The violin case he was holding looked a little weird. But this project wasn’t about violins. He looked back at Kageyama in the center of the painting. Maybe his proportions were a little off… and his hand looked wrong… his face definitely could be better… he’s a bit stiff… why was his neck so long? Hinata sighed, turning to wash his brushes instead. It would get better. This is just the first draft, basically.

He looked at it again. _At least the background is nice_ , he thought. He didn’t want to do a full background, but he also didn’t want to make it boring. His teacher had said no backgrounds, but come on, it was barely anything. Just a splash of color, swirling around in the back, to give the piece some life. It couldn’t be all boring.

“Ready to go, Kageyama? Kenma sent me an Uno set, I’ve been hiding it from Suga, so we can play later!” Kageyama looked up from his typing on the computer, then closed it. He put it away in his bag, and the two left together.

“No race today?” Kageyama questioned.

“I don’t feeeeel like it. Doing that painting sapped all my energy,” Hinata groaned.

“Really? None of your other paintings do that.”

“Well I don’t usually have to think so hard with the other paintings! I just… paint! But now I have to make it look like a real person, with complicated proportions and junk. It’s not like landscapes have proportions or need to look fluid or whatever. I mean, I guess they kind of do, but it’s not so complicated I guess.” Hinata kicked a rock in front of him down the path.

“You need to do stuff like that eventually. You can’t just be willy-nilly all the time. You need some sort of structure. Like that perspective thing you were doing, it looked bad because you didn’t use your brain. Not like you have one though.”

“Shut up about that! The perspective thing is old news! Besides, how is this supposed to help me? I don’t usually paint people anyway.”

“What about the one on your wall, with that group of people?”

“I said I don’t _usually_ paint people.”

“Because you suck at it?”

“No! I just don’t!” Hinata felt the edge to his voice, his face stiff and his fists clenched. He had gotten himself a little too worked up, but he couldn’t help it. He didn’t like forcing himself to paint perfectly or make things look hyper realistic. He strayed away from a lot of animals and things like that, things that required movement or anatomy or resources. It was simpler that way. He was still a good painter! He didn’t need the stupid anatomy project, or perspective, or critiques.

The two walked in silence after that, Kageyama able to surprisingly pick up on Hinata’s tone. He wasn’t always terrible at human interaction. Reaching the building, they still entered in silence. Hinata headed towards the pantry, getting a granola bar.

“So, where’s this Uno set that Kenma sent you?” Kageyama asked.

“Actually, I think we should skip Uno. I’m tired, and I have a class early tomorrow. I’m just gonna sleep,” Hinata said. He didn’t turn to see Kageyama’s reaction, instead rushing back to his room. Noya wasn’t there, but Hinata barely noticed. His mind was clouded with all of the frustrations about his art. 

Was he a good artist? What did it mean to be good? To be able to draw perfectly? To be distinct and creative? To make your mark on the world? To be precise? To be experimental? It was a line of thinking Hinata usually preferred to ignore. But it seemed like this project was going to force him to think about it.

Hinata turned towards the wall on his bed. Looking up, he saw the painting he hung up at the start of the year. The sunset. His family. He took a deep breath, eating a bite of granola bar. He could do this. One stupid project wasn’t gonna stop him. Another breath. Another bite.

_You are good._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me writing this: welcome back to me screaming
> 
> Also ive painted a graduation banner so im basically an artist now,,,,, bob ross who,,,, art school what,,,,, i can paint the word congrats,,,,,
> 
> Also also really just hit me like,,, i am a high level volleyball player,,,, i know more about the sport than haikyuu does,,, i could write accurately about rotations,,, and about what playing is like,,,, and yet,,,, i choose to write about,,,, things i don't even do,,,,, why,,,, 
> 
> ALSO ALSO ALSO EXTREMELY IMPORTANT: Two amazing people have done more fanart for this fic!!
> 
> Fake-Plant did some awesome digital art you should totally check out here: https://fake-plant.tumblr.com/post/620775732773257216/overrun-by-the-colors-hinata-began-to-paint-a
> 
> And constellation_salad did some super cool art as part of her kagehina week art you can look at here: https://www.instagram.com/p/CBgU7mpJcK6/
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and kudos and comments and art! You are all amazing!! Yes you!! As always, an update will hit ya within the week! Have a great day/night!!!
> 
> EDIT: I’m a stupid and had a continuity error that I had to fix about Yachi’s project, so if you’re seeing this being edited that’s why! If not, uh ignore this I’ve never made a continuity error in my life


	12. Colored Pencils and Garden Dates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For the anatomy project, Hinata has to spend a day with Kageyama, and is a littler nervous for his pseudo-date

The next Saturday, Hinata sat in the common area, anxiously shuffling a random deck of cards. Eventually Suga took the stack of cards away from Hinata, which only resulted in the tapping of a pen. When that was taken away it became a pencil, a paintbrush, and then a large range of colored pencils that Suga could’ve sworn Asahi was looking for last week.

“Okay, what’s the problem?” Suga finally asked, putting away the 20th colored pencil. Hinata pulled another one out.

“Problem? There isn’t a problem! Why would there be a problem?” Hinata responded, probably too quickly. Suga just rolled his eyes and took the colored pencil again.

“Is this about that anatomy project thingy? Should I get Daichi?”

“No! I didn’t need Daichi and I still don’t need Daichi! I’m fine!”

“You seem nervous.”

“I’m not!” Hinata pulled out yet another colored pencil, which Suga quickly snatched away. The label read “plum.” Well, at least they were nearing the end of the rainbow.

“Your pencil tapping says otherwise,” Suga said, raising an eyebrow. Hinata looked down at the dark purple pencil he was tapping. Suga confiscated that one as well. “Russian Violet.” What did that even mean?

“Okay, so I guess I’m maybe just a tiny teeny bit nervous. You see, for that anatomy project thing I decided to do a person because I think people might be easier because I have to do figure drawing anyway and I’m around people all the time and I am a people so I know how I am so maybe I know how to draw it, but that’s not the point, the point is that to do people you have to have someone actively model for you, it’s a requirement, probably to make less people do it maybe cause it’s easier but anyway I decided that Kageyama’s gonna be my active model and the first step is observation and so while other people are going to the zoo and watching videos of animals and stuff, I have to go spend a day with Kageyama, like a whole day, and we texted and decided that day would be today, and I know I spend most days with him but maybe because it’s for a project this feels different like I feel weird in my stomach but take that with a grain of salt, in fact ignore that, I didn’t say anything, what was I saying?”

Suga stared at Hinata.

“What?” He eventually said.

“Well, for the anatomy project, I decided to do a person-”

“No, no, don’t start again. I just need to think for a second.” Suga stood looking at the ceiling, like he was replaying the conversation in his head.

“Okay, so you’re nervous because you’re hanging out for a day with Kageyama for your project, and you like him?” Suga asked.

“WHAT? Like him? Who said- I did not- what are- if you’re saying- Kageyama?” Hinata was red faced and sputtering.

“So you don’t like him?” Suga asked knowingly. Hinata deflated, looking left and right before leaning in, head down.

“Okay, fine, maybe I like him just a little, but don’t go shouting it in the middle of the dorm!” Hinata whisper-yelled.

“Shouting what?” A sandy yellow voice appeared from behind Hinata, who jumped in the air and tripped on a chair.

“NOTHING!” He yelped from the floor. Tsukishima stood over him, Yamaguchi trailing behind.

“Whatever you say, shrimpy. But remember what I said, no wedding invitations here. I have plans that day.” With that, he walked towards the kitchen area, grabbing some ingredients to make some sort of late breakfast. Hinata sat up, glaring at him from the floor.

“Sorry about Tsukki,” Yamaguchi’s pale green voice quietly interjected.

“How do you stand that guy? He's so mean!” Hinata pouted at Tsukishima’s back.

“Tsukki Isn't that bad! He’s just… irritable? Trust me, he’s actually really cool.” Yamaguchi had a faint blush under his freckles, smiling softly. Hinata chose to ignore that, hoping his friend was just going through something and would come to his senses soon enough. I mean, that guy? Really?

“Whatever. I think he’s just a jerk.”

“I’m still in the room you know. I can hear you,” Tsukishima said. He didn’t turn around, still cooking some eggs.

“Yeah! I know! I meant for you to hear! You jerk!” Hinata said, rather unconvincingly. Suga just shook his head.

“Well Hinata, I’m sure you’ll be fine. Just be… your normal self.” Suga gave him a warm smile to back it up.

“I don’t think I know how to do that.”

Tsukishima snorted and even Yamaguchi had to cover his mouth to hide a smile. Suga pursed his lips and opened his mouth before closing it and thinking for another moment. 

Before he could say anything, Kageyama’s door opened. Kageyama stood there, dressed in his casual clothes. Well, as casual as you could get with him. He had a violin case in one hand and a bored expression with downturned eyebrows. His hair looked a little neater than usual, like he had styled it slightly.

“Oi, dumbass. Let’s go.” Hinata was frozen for a moment, before scrambling to his feet, grabbing his forgotten bag off the ground, and stumbling over to Kageyama. He got an unimpressed look in return.

“Ok! Onwards!” Hinata announced to the hallway. He then made his way forward, Kageyama barely a step behind.

“Have fun on your date!” Tsukishima called after them. This was followed by a grunt of pain, likely from Suga’s infamous karate chops. Hinata chose to fight the blush in his cheeks and ignore the words, keeping his face forward. Had he looked back, he may have noticed Kageyama doing the same.

\----------------------------------------------------

“So, why are we going to some garden on campus?” Kageyama asked.

“Well, I have another assignment for drawing so I have to sketch some flowers, plus it’s super pretty! It is kind of late in the season, so it’s not as nice as usual, but there are still cool flowers that bloom in fall and winter.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be studying me and not flowers? And what do I get out of this?”

“Well, stupidyama, I’m studying you right now technically!” Hinata made a point to stop and look Kageyama up and down. Kageyama crossed his arms, turning away with a slight blush, and Hinata turned forward again. “And I can study the way you look at flowers too. I think I’m just being good at time-management. My teachers say it’s something I should work on. For you, well, maybe you can get inspiration for your music stuff there!”

“How? I’m writing about you, not random plants.”

“Well, chrysanthemums are orange sometimes, like my hair, so you can look at those!”

“Cry-then-moms?”

“Chry-san-the-mum,” Hinata pronounced slowly. “My mom was always big into gardening and flowers and stuff. She would plant new flowers and things all the time so I could practice still life painting on them. They’re probably my second favorite thing to paint after landscapes.” 

A fond smile took over Hinata’s face as he remembered his mom’s garden. It wasn’t huge, but she always put in a lot of work to make it look nice and keep it healthy. She would recruit Natsu and him against their will, and they would help her pick the plants and dig and water everything. He didn’t really know how all that garden stuff worked, but his mom liked it, and it looked so pretty. He wondered how it was looking now.

A hand suddenly grabbed the back of his hoodie, pulling him away from the lamppost he was about to walk straight into.

“I thought you said that your synthesia didn’t cause you to walk into poles,” Kageyama said with no real malice.

“That wasn’t synethesia caused!” Hinata argued.

“Oh, so it was just you being stupid?” Kageyama smirked.

“Shut up! I was thinking, something you can’t even do!”

Kageyama grabbed Hinata’s head, and Hinata complained about going bald and kicked at Kageyama’s shins. Eventually their small skirmish stopped, and Hinata turned to see that they had already arrived at the garden.

It was lovely. Fallen leaves scattered the ground, but not too many, likely having been raked up. Large bushes showed red, white, pink, orange, and burgundy flowers, the colors perfectly fitting the season. Tall yellow grasses swayed in the wind. Japanese maples sat at the start of the pathway. Despite the colder weather, the garden was still green and full of life. Hinata smiled. His mother would have loved it. He should take her if she visits.

“So, this is it?” Kageyama wandered forward, hands brushing on the dark red of the japanese maple.

“Yep! Asahi was actually the one to tell me about it! I was asking about gardens on campus for this drawing flowers thing, and he said this one existed! There’s a gardening club here that maintains it and the school apparently helps out too.” Hinata walked forward admiring all the plants around him.

“So is it just a path?”

“No, the path leads to like, some sort of central area with a few benches and stuff. It’s not a huge area, but some classes come out here sometimes so it isn’t tiny either. Let’s go!” With that, Hinata grabbed Kageyama’s free hand and dragged him down the path. The plants brushed at their ankles, Hinata taking in all the different colors. It was like seeing his synesthesia right in front of him. Maybe a little too orange though.

It was barely a walk to the small central area. A few other students were there, lingering around. A girl sat on a bench playing what sounded suspiciously like ABBA’s Dancing Queen on her flute. Another girl sat on the ground, sketching a large white flower on her ipad. A group of students were eating food and laughing, and a guy was taking close-up photos of a butterfly perched on a bush.

Hinata looked around, before eyeing some familiar looking purple flowers. He planted himself next to them on the edge of the area, and Kageyama sat down next to him, setting his violin case on the ground.

“What’s this one?” Kageyama asked.

“Aster, I think. My mom said she might try these this year, apparently they’re good for bees in the fall? I don’t know, Natsu texted me about it. These look like the picture she sent. I think I’ll draw it though, and send it to her! That’s like, three things at once!”

“Three things?”

“Yeah! Observing you, drawing flowers for class, and sending Natsu something nice!” Hinata pulled his sketchbook and a pencil out of his bag. Quickly he began sketching lines on the page, immediately engrossed with his task. Kageyama sat next to him, tapping his fingers. A few minutes passed before he finally got bored enough to take out his violin.

Hinata immediately became distracted with the pops of color in front of his eyes. He turned to see Kageyama picking at the strings on his violin, creating a simple melody.

“Woahhhh, I didn’t know you could pick at the strings!” Hinata said, eyes wide and curious.

“Well, you can. How did you not know?”

“I’ve only ever seen you play with that stick thing with the hairs!”

“A bow.”

“Yes! That!”

“Well, you can pluck the strings too. It’s not as common, obviously, but it comes up in a few pieces in orchestras.” Kageyama continued his picking, Hinata looking on. 

Hinata put down his pencil, just observing Kageyama. That was part of his assignment, right? It had nothing to do with the expression on Kageyama’s face, the one he usually had when he played. The peaceful one. The violin was tucked under his chin, Kageyama plucking at the strings with a cute sort of flourish. He still moved his other hand in a way that was too complicated for Hinata to follow. The way he was sitting was probably improper, but it didn’t matter in the moment. Hinata watched the picture in front of him, Kageyama picking at strings while sitting cross legged in the garden.

He shook himself out of his thoughts for a moment. Well, at least he had made some observations. The flourish when Kageyama plucked a string. The way his expression changed with the music. The way his left hand moved with such precision. Hinata wasn’t quite sure how to translate that to a drawing, but he could definitely take notes on it. So his grade was saved for the next day at least.

Turning back to the aster, Hinata let the music play in the background. He continued sketching the flower in front of him, but everytime he blinked, Kageyama was there. And with his eyes open, sparks of color lit up his vision as notes popped into existence from Kageyama’s violin.

After an hour, Hinata had a whole page in his sketchbook filled with flower sketches. Some were close ups of the petal, studying the delicate texture, and others were general drawings of the whole flower. Kageyama had transitioned from plucking to actual practice to listening to music and writing things down. Hinata wouldn’t admit it outloud, but he missed the music in the background. It was comfortable.

Closing his sketchbook, Hinata laid back down onto the path. The sky had a lot of clouds drifting around, but blue still peeked through the edges. He sighed. Then, he pushed himself up and faced Kageyama, who was completely tuned out from the world with his headphones in.

Hinata scooted a foot over and yanked the headphones out of Kageyama’s ears.

“Hey- dumbass what the hell was that for?” Kageyama growled, snatching the headphones back.

“I’m done with my flower drawing! So now we can head somewhere else!” Kageyama glared at Hinata, but put his things away, the two standing up and exiting the small garden area.

\----------------------------------------------------

“So, now where?” Kageyama asked. He and Hinata walked side by side on campus, with no real direction.

“I’m not sure actually. I didn’t really plan that far ahead,” Hinata admitted.

“Great.”

“Well, I have to spend the whole day with you, and observe you! Why don’t you think of something interesting and I can… observe?”

“It sounds creepy when you put it like that.”

“It’s for art!”

“Sure.”

“It is! Now do something… interesting!”

“Like what?”

Hinata stood for a moment, thinking. Though he loved seeing Kageyama play violin, he knew he couldn’t just have drawings of that. He had to make more observations to turn in an accurate list. Plus, he knew that some basic movement drawings were coming up in the future, so he should probably see Kageyama moving.

“Maybe you could dance?”

“No.”

“Well that was my only idea!” Hinata huffed. “If you’re gonna be such a party pooper, why don’t you just walk instead!”

“Ok, fine I guess,” Kageyama grumbled. He put down his things next to Hinata, who had perched on a nearby bench holding a pencil and opening his sketchbook to take notes. With a slightly red face and shaky frown, Kageyama walked from one side of Hinata’s vision to the other.

Hinata did his best to observe how Kageyama moved. He walked at a very brisk pace, no energy being wasted in dilly dallying or looking around. His movements were sharp, maybe even aggressive. Hinata had noticed this a little bit when they walked next to each other. He always had to walk faster than normal to keep up with Kageyama. He didn’t mind of course, but it was interesting to actually be thinking actively about it. About the way he swung his arms, the way he placed his foot.

“Was that good?” Kageyama asked. Hinata was snapped out of his observations by an awkward Kageyama, who was standing off to the side. Though his rod-straight posture hadn’t changed, his arms crossed inward and his fingers tapped slightly.

“Yeah that was good!” Hinata began scribbling down notes in his sketchbook. Sure, it may not be the best place to put notes, but it wasn’t like he had other paper lying around. Kageyama quickly took a seat beside him.

“I’m not doing that again,” he muttered. Hinata laughed.

“What, scared of walking?” 

“It looks weird when I’m just walking 10 feet in front of a bench,” Kageyama said, glaring at Hinata as he stifled giggles.

“Don’t worry, your walk isn’t weird! The only weird thing about it is how perfect it is.” Hinata looked back at his notes. “You waste no energy with anything, everything is exact. I guess that’s very _you_ though. It matches the way you play violin!”

“What do you mean?” Without even looking up to see his face, Hinata knew the expression Kageyama had from the look of his voice. The blue ocean was beginning to have choppier seas with a frozen edge. Hinata had no idea how his comment could be a rough spot.

“The way you play violin, it’s like, _whoosh_. Barely any mistakes, and when you do have one you never make it again the second time. You’re like a robot!”

“Don’t call me a robot.” Okay, Hinata just made it worse. Despite the low tone Kageyama held, his voice was a storm now, the ocean darkened and whipping up waves.

“Not in a bad way! Not really, I guess. I mean, it’s cool you play like that! And it means for this project you’re doing, you’ll play better than everyone else!” That Hinata could count on.

“No I won’t! You said it would be perfect before, but it won’t! This stupid project has me making up something, which means it’ll be bad because I can’t make it perfect! There will always be mistakes, and writing music is difficult! I don’t want to compose, it’s easier to just mimic someone else’s playing!” The storm was only getting larger

Hinata had heard this sentiment from Kageyama before. Maybe not as directly, but he knew Kageyama was a perfectionist. He didn’t want to create. He wanted to do it _right_. But what did that mean, in art? Was there a way that was right?

“Why does it have to be perfect?” Hinata challenged quietly. It was getting more dangerous. Usually when this subject was breached, Hinata dropped it. They continued on playing and painting. But it was clear this project wasn’t going to let that happen. Maybe it was better to talk about it now.

“It has to be the way the composer intended. The way it’s supposed to be. People who just play whatever and however they want don’t get far. The reason I can play high level pieces, the reason I have the skill to do it, is because I play them right.”

“But… is there a right way to do anything when it comes to art?”

“Of course there is! There’s rules in any art! There’s a best way to hold the violin and a correct posture and timing and a way the notes are arranged and a way it’s supposed to sound!”

“Can’t you change it though?”

“No.”

“What about for your own piece, can’t you do anything you want for that?”

Silence followed that question. Hinata wasn’t very smart, he knew that, but it didn’t take a genius to figure out Kageyama’s unspoken answer.

_He can do whatever he wants for the piece. But he doesn’t want to. It scares him._

Questions raced through Hinata’s head. The biggest one being: why did it scare him? Hinata hated following the rules, regular or art related. Art was freedom, it was expression! Some stupid music rules made by hundred year-old boring guys shouldn’t dictate what Kageyama does.

Still, Hinata didn’t ask. He wanted to say something. He wanted to yell, to tell Kageyama that he could do what he wanted, that being perfect isn't fun, that he was holding himself back. But he was pushing his luck. He wasn’t about to destroy a friendship, hopefully a relationship, by pushing on Kageyama.

Instead, Hinata closed his sketchbook and stood up.

“We should go raid the pantry back at the dorm. I heard Suga was making cookies this afternoon,” he said. Kageyama stood silently behind him, grabbing his things as well.

The two began to walk next to each other quietly. They looked anywhere but each other. Kageyama with his sharp pace, Hinata skipping along leisurely.

“It’s fun though.” Hinata whipped his head to Kageyama, who still faced forward. “Playing something difficult really well. Finally getting it right. Playing high level stuff. It’s fun.”

Hinata smiled at Kageyama, who still looked forward. The stormy ocean of blue in his voice had calmed significantly. However, it wasn’t as relaxed as it had been in the past, when it was just the two of them in the studio. Still better than nothing, though. They had gotten over this rough patch.

“I’m sure it is!” Hinata grabbed Kageyama’s hand, tugging him forward. “Now come on! I want cookies, and we still haven’t broken in that Uno set from Kenma!” Pulling Kageyama along, he felt the grip tighten. Kageyama held Hinata's hand back, lacing their fingers together.

Hinata felt his heart flutter at the contact. But the space between their palms wasn’t as warm as it had been before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me in this chapter: look I have no idea how the passage of time works but i know for sure that it’s FALL
> 
> Also ive said it twice in comments on my google doc for my beta reader and I will say it again, I vibe very hard for no reason with criss-cross Kags in the garden with his violin, fantastic mental image
> 
> Also also I did some watercolor painting and it was super fun! I painted a fox who we saw on a hike, he was stealing a piece of wood. I hope he succeeds in his construction project.
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading!!! Comments and kudos are always super mega appreciated! If you wanna chat, hit me up @squydneyyy on tumblr! As always, next chapter will be posted within the week.


	13. Constellations and the Question Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama and Hinata continue working on their own projects, but frustrations continue to grow as things don't work out as they want.

“How long do I have to stand here?”

“I’m almost done!”

Kageyama stood in the middle of the art studio, a bored expression on his face. Hinata sat across from him, hands dirty with charcoal as his head went from paper to Kageyama back to paper. His figuring drawing teacher had told him to get some extra practice because he was doing a person for his anatomy project. So, here he was.

“Why am I even doing this?”

“Why are you complaining so much? Don’t you have to stand with your arms up for like, hours, for your music stuff?”

“Yeah, but at least I’m doing something and not just looking stupid in the middle of the art room.”

“There’s no one else here!”

Of course, right as Hinata said that, Yachi walked in.

“Oh! Sorry! Are you doing something? Should I leave?” Her cotton candy voice made Hinata smile as he waved his hand.

“No, you can totally stay! Kageyama’s just being a big grump.” Though Kageyama mumbled his dissent, Hinata shushed him. Yachi nervously inched further into the room, taking a seat at her work station.

“Sorry if this is rude, but uh, what are you guys doing?” Yachi said quietly.

“Not rude at all Yachi! For the anatomy project I wanted to do a person, so Kageyama is my focus!”

“Oh! Cool!”

“Yeah! What about you, what are you doing as your focus?”

“Nothing special really,” Yachi said, rushing to grab her ipad and opening a drawing. She turned it to Kageyama and Hinata. “I decided to do a toucan! They’re really colorful and have a really big beak and I like birds a lot so I thought it would work really well.” On her ipad was a rough drawing of a very awkward toucan.

“Wow Yachi! That looks awesome!” Hinata said.

“Really? Thanks! This was just my blind attempt, it looks really wonky but I’m learning more about the anatomy and stuff, so it’s already improving!”

“Nice! Mine aren’t improving super fast, but I’m sure it’ll get there.” Hinata’s eyes drifted back to the sketch he was creating. Despite actually having Kageyama in front of him, it still wasn’t looking right. Still, he had to finish a few sketches in different poses. He sighed and put charcoal back to paper.

Yachi began to work as well, grabbing a few papers and putting up some reference photos and videos on her ipad. A comfortable silence fell over the room, broken only by the shuffling of papers or squeaking of chairs. Hinata still never got his sketch right. What was it? Sure, he didn’t pay as much attention as he should to proportion, and sometimes he would just get in a small groove where he drew without looking at Kageyama which probably wasn’t great. Even then, he thought he would improve faster.

The silence was finally broken by Yachi’s small pink clouds appearing in laughter. She quickly covered her mouth with her hand, face flushed bright red.

“Sorry! I just- this was funny- but you were concentrating! That was rude, I shouldn’t- I’m sorry!” she managed. Hinata just waved her off.

“Never mind that, tell me what’s so funny!” Yachi turned her ipad towards the two boys, revealing an image of the skeletal structure of a toucan. Hinata immediately burst out in laughter. “Why is it so small? How does that skinny neck support that huge beak? It’s head’s smaller than the beak!”

“I know!” Yachi giggled. “It looks really funny, I’m going to have a hard time drawing it!” The two stopped laughing for a moment.

Then immediately started laughing again.

Once they had calmed down, Yachi sat back in her chair.

“It isn’t even that funny! I guess I’m just tired from all the assignments about this project,” she sighed. Hinata nodded in agreement.

“Yeah, I have to do this for figuring drawing, then some texture studies for painting and some for drawing, plus those bone and muscle structure ones. And then I still have art history homework? Why do we even have to take that class?” Hinata complained. He considered hitting his face into his notebook, but he had to preserve the homework if he didn’t want to flunk his worst class.

“It’s a lot, but it is fun! I feel like I’m learning a lot, and improving,” Yachi said, looking down at the papers scattered around her.

“Same,” Hinata said. It was a bit half-hearted though.

“Shoot!” Yachi suddenly exclaimed. “I have to go, I’m meeting Kiyoko for dinner!” Yachi started shuffling things around and putting them neatly in her bag, a feat for someone in such a nervous rush. She was quickly out of her chair and towards the door.

“Have fun on your date!” Hinata yelled cheekily after her. He heard a squeak in response.

“It’s not a date!” her echoed shouts said. Hinata only laughed, hearing her footsteps disappear. He turned back to Kageyama, who had been strangely quiet while Yachi was there. Kageyama turned to him too.

“That was a really weird bird.”

\----------------------------------------------------

Hinata finally set his charcoal down after an hour more. He had had Kageyama change poses occasionally. One sitting, one standing, he refused to lay on the ground in any capacity but he was willing to put his knee up on a stool (after some arguing).

“Are you finally done?” Kageyama asked, walking over to Hinata.

“Yup! No more figure drawing homework! Just a lot of other stupid homework!” Kageyama came behind Hinata, looking over his shoulder as he so often did.

“Those look weird,” he said bluntly.

“What?! That’s not very nice Kageyama! I worked hard on these!” Hinata looked down at his page. The drawings were very basic figure drawings, more focused on shapes and lines of action rather than detail and shading. Hinata really wasn’t very good at figure drawing, so when his teacher found out he was doing a person for his anatomy project, he was assigned some extra homework.

Hinata tilted his head, examining the work further. They really weren’t… perfect. His lines didn’t flow naturally, things looking stiff or weirdly curving. His proportions were still a mess despite Kageyama being six feet away from him. 

“Still. They look weird. Your proportions are wrong, and so are all the shapes, they’re just bad. You need to have more discipline with your drawing. You can’t just do it all willy-nilly and then act like it’s good because you did it for a while”

Hinata snapped his sketchbook closed.

“You aren’t even an art student. You don’t see me commenting on your music, do you?”

“Yes you do.”

“Well, I’m usually right! I can hear it!”

“I can see this.”

“Just shut up about it,” Hinata said, ending the conversation as he returned the sketchbook to his bag. However, Kageyama wasn’t ready for it to end.

“Hinata, you do this with your other art too. I mean, your landscapes are really nice, but you never plan them out beforehand at all. Same with the paintings and drawings you’re doing of me, or even the flowers when we went to that garden. You don’t pay attention to any details, like shading or whatever. You don’t have structure.”

Hinata’s hand tightened on the canvas he was picking up.

“I don’t need that structure or these stupid studies! I got by fine on my own with no training, I got into this school with no training. Art is about expression and freedom! Not stupid rules about composition or perspective or the right amount of shading and highlight or whatever! Sure, maybe when that stuff is brought up I slack off a little or don’t pay as much attention, but it doesn’t matter! Soon this project will be over and I won’t have to do this again! Maybe you need the structure stuff more in music than in art! So don’t worry about it Kageyama, okay?” Hinata put the canvas on the easel and got out some paints, not even turning to look at Kageyama.

“Okay,” was the soft blue reply. Still, it had a slight strain to it, like there was something more to be said, something more to be argued, but he had decided against it. Hinata was fine with that. He had done the same every time Kageyama was convinced of his need to be perfect. There were just some things you didn’t have to push.

A small silence befell the two.

“Are… are you going to play?” Hinata asked shyly. He got his response in the form of the clacking noise of the violin case clasps opening. Soon, a light and somber tune was filling the space. It was slow and simple, notes taking their time. Hinata reached for some colors.

He found his canvas being filled with dark blue and gray, a snowy tundra forming. Dead trees sprang up, branches lonely and almost empty of leaves. Patches of dead grass sprung up underneath the light snow, indicating it to be one of the first of the season. Barely any colors permeated the painting, which was beginning to reflect how Hinata was feeling. His frustration at his performance, at the project, at Kageyama.

But he couldn’t really stay mad at Kageyama. Kageyama, who wasn’t good at Uno no matter how hard he tried. Kageyama, who let himself be dragged to a stupid garden for a whole day. Kageyama, who sat still to pose for Hinata even though he probably had homework too. Kageyama, who always played for Hinata when he asked. Kageyama, who always had the most beautiful look on his face when he played. Kageyama, who barely ever missed a note. Kageyama, who had the best smile, even though people barely saw it.

Kageyama, who he was in love with.

No, he couldn’t stay mad at him.

The song Kageyama was playing started to change, and Hinata closed his eyes. He saw green, light blue, purple. They drifted and flowed and shimmered across Hinata’s eyelids. They twisted and pulled and danced like waves. They were bright.

Opening his eyes, Hinata grabbed new colors. A streak of green found its way into the sky, fading upwards. Other colors touched the edges, blues and purples standing out marvelously. Stars found their way into the background too, light as they were.

A dead landscape, tortured by the cold, yet in the sky, a brilliant display of life and color, glowing on the page. It was as if you could turn off the lights and they would still shine through, weaving their way through the sky. Hinata smiled. It would be alright.

“The northern lights,” Kageyama commented. Hinata turned around on instinct at his remark, eyes shining.

“Wow Kageyama, I didn’t think you would know what those are! My mom had a cool picture of them in the house, just for decoration, but I always thought they were neat!”

“Yeah, I was at a concert my gra- I was at a concert. When I was really young. And they played a piece by Alan Lee Silva, The Northern Lights. I learned about them from there, when I looked up the song at home.” Kageyama stepped forward and his hand twitched at his side, almost as if he wanted to reach out and touch the painting.

He didn’t.

Instead, he turned away and back to his case, putting his violin away.

“It’s getting late, I’m hungry,” Kageyama said.

“Oo! I have an idea! We could get takeout and then go sit on that pretty hill on campus! I have Uno in my bag, so we could play out there!” Hinata said all of this with enthusiasm, but he was wringing his hands despite it. He basically just asked Kageyama to have a picnic with him. And it wasn’t even like, a lunch picnic. Was he being too forward? Was this a date? Wait, takeout though, that wasn’t really good for a date picnic, maybe that wouldn’t make him suspicious. It wasn’t like Hinata was _trying_ to ask him out, it maybe just sounded like that? But it was just a picnic, totally bro picnic, duh, of cou-

“Sure. We should get some stuff from that noodle place on the edge of campus,” Kageyama said, grabbing his violin case by the handle and standing up fully.

“Aw-awesome! Yeah, let me just put my paint stuff away,” Hinata stuttered, knocking over several tubes of paint as he turned far too quickly. Kageyama didn’t say anything, but Hinata could feel his smirk and frowned at nothing in retaliation.

It was probably the quickest Hinata had ever tried to put away his things, and one of the slower actual times. Why was he so nervous? He turned to see Kageyama standing and waiting for him.

Oh yeah.

Finally putting the last supply in its proper place, Hinata jumped up and practically skipped out the door, yelling at Kageyama to hurry up.

“I was waiting on you to clean up, you clumsy asshole!” Kageyama shouted back. Hinata only laughed, both hearing and seeing the smile in the dark blue waves that washed over him.

\----------------------------------------------------

Hinata spun around at the top of the hill, arms outstretched to feel the cool winter air on them. He could easily see his breath in front of him, and it probably wasn’t the best idea to be out in just a t-shirt and shorts. Still, it didn’t really matter. Kageyama was there.

“You’re gonna freeze your arms off dumbass.” Speak of the devil. Or, rather, think of him. Kageyama plopped the bag of takeout next to Hinata’s forgotten bag and sat down, violin resting gentle beside him. Hinata sat himself down too, shivering slightly.

Kageyama handed him his order and a pair of chopsticks. The steam rose nicely off the noodles, Hinata quickly digging in to try to stave off the cold creeping up his arms. Naturally, he burned his tongue. Kageyama laughed at him, Hinata pouted, and all was right with the world for a few moments.

The two ate in silence, finally realizing how hungry they actually were. It was easy to forget to eat when you were so wrapped up in your own projects. Eventually, Hinata took a break, setting his chopsticks down.

“So Kageyama, how is that song going?” he asked. Kageyama paused mid-chopstick-in-the-air and frowned.

“Fine, I guess.”

“Come onnnn, you get to see all my drawings and stuff of you, can’t you give me a little sneak peek?” Hinata pressed.

“No.” 

“Mean Kageyama!” Hinata whined. “Are you sure you don’t need anything else? Like me to pose, or to walk around, or answer any questions?” Kageyama paused at this, thinking for a second.

“I guess I could ask questions,” he said. Hinata clapped his hands.

“Awesome! Ask away!” he said. Kageyama cleared his throat awkwardly.

“Um, what’s your favorite color?”

“Wow, starting with an impossible question!” Hinata exclaimed. “I really love all colors! I could never really choose a favorite, though I really like yellows and oranges and bright stuff like that, though Yamaguchi and Suga’s voices are really nice colors too, so is Yachi’s, all pink and sweet…” Hinata trailed off as he looked at Kageyama, their eyes meeting. “Lately though, I’ve also been really liking dark blue.”

The two stared at each other for a moment. Kageyama was first to look away, slightly flushed. Hinata was thankful for the darkness so Kageyama couldn’t see how red he was in turn.

“Next question!” he said quickly, trying to move things along.

“Okay, what’s your family like?” Hinata loved this question.

“Well, I live with my mom and my sister Natsu! My mom is an awesome mom, she loves gardening and has been using the stuff she grows in her cooking and it’s super cool! She’s been teaching me how to cook more too, I’m still not very good, but I’m learning! She likes wearing bright colors and putting flowers everywhere. She has photos she finds of different places all over the world to hang up in the house, saying she’ll travel there one day. I hope she gets to go, and I hope I can go too! And then there’s Natsu, she’s my baby sister and a total pain! But, I guess I love her anyway. She’s learning the flute right now, but she also really likes playing sports and stuff. She hasn’t decided on a favorite yet though. So yeah, it’s just us. What about you?” Hinata finally took a breath at the end of his ramble, turning expectantly towards Kageyama.

“You don’t get to ask questions, I’m doing this for my project,” Kageyama said sharply.

“Oh yeah. Still, I wanna know! Tell me about your family!” Hinata leaned in towards Kageyama, who looked away with a frown.

“A mom and dad, and my sister Miwa. Though I don’t see her much, she’s a lot older than me. She’s a hairstylist now.”

“Is that it?” Hinata questioned.

“Yes. Next question,” Kageyama said, leaving no room for argument. “Why did you start painting?”

“Oh, well, hm,” Hinata thought for a moment. “Well, when I was a kid, I went to an art gallery. It was open to everyone, free of charge, and my mom thought it might be nice to show me some of the things there. And there was this one piece… I don’t remember the name of the person who did it, but it was amazing. A winged man reaching towards the sun.” Hinata reached his hand upwards, as if he was mimicking the painting. “It was like it was alive. Like the figure was reaching, desperate for something, like his wings were really flapping. He was chasing the sun.” Hinata closed his fist at the sky, grasping nothing. “When I saw that, I realized what I wanted to do. I wanted to make something like that.”

Hinata lowered his hand, his eyes meeting Kageyama’s again. This time, Kageyama was quick to look away. Still, Hinata had caught a look in his eye. One he couldn’t quite place, almost a gleam. A shock. Some sort of wonder.

“Why are you a musician?” Hinata asked after a short silence. Kageyama bristled.

“Next question.”

Hinata didn’t try to fight.

“Okay, next question.”

\----------------------------------------------------

The question game went on for a while. Talk of favorite animals (Hinata’s was a crow; Kageyama said he didn’t have one), the best places in the world, favorite foods, desserts, instruments, songs, activities, and more. Soon it felt less like it was for a project and more like a simple conversation. Kageyama loosened up throughout, far more open to answering questions and laughing more. Hinata rambled far too long for half the answers, but Kageyama didn’t mind. And Hinata didn’t mind Kageyama’s short answers either.

They soon found themselves on their backs. They had their arms outstretched, and their fingers brushed each other in the middle, just barely. Almost a dare, if one of them was to hold hands.

“I wish I knew about those constellation-thingys,” Hinata said. “I feel like it would make looking at the stars way cooler.”

“There aren’t many stars out here anyway. Too much light from all the people,” Kageyama replied.

“Look, those ones are you!” Hinata said, tracing a frowny face in the stars with his hand and laughing.”

“I can’t even see what you’re tracing, dumbass,” Kageyama said.

“Look, like this.” Hinata scooched over next to Kageyama, holding his hand about Kageyama’s eyes and tracing the stars again. “It’s a frowny face, see?” Kageyama swatted Hinata’s hand away, facing matching the stars Hinata just pointed out.

“Shut up,” Kageyama said, but there was barely any malice behind it. Hinata settled back down, much closer to Kageyama this time. Their fingertips still danced anxiously against one another. The pair didn’t say anything for a short time after that, simply existing in the grass. If Hinata strained his ears, he could hear the chatter of a close-by dorm, and if he were to sit up he could see the surrounding lights of the college, probably some other students walking around too. It was only ten in the evening.

Even so, it felt like just the two of them in their own little world.

“Hey Kageyama,” Hinata started, “I want you to know that it’s okay if you can’t tell me about your family more. Or why you like music. But if you ever want to, I’ll be here to listen.” There was a stretch of silence laid out between the two after that. Hinata held his breath, still looking up to the sky.

“My grandfather.” Hinata almost didn’t catch it, the soft voice barely carrying over the short distance. “He gave me my first violin. I still have his old bow. He got me into music.” Kageyama didn’t say anything else after that. He didn’t need to, though. Hinata let out the breath he was holding as quietly as possible. Then, he reached over slightly, and took Kageyama’s hand.

“Well, I’m glad he did,” Hinata said.

“Me too.” Kageyama’s voice was barely above a whisper, but Hinata heard it, and saw it. Gentle blue waves.

“Now, what do you think about an Uno rematch?” Hinata said, turning towards Kageyama. Kageyama turned his head towards Hinata, a wicked grin on his face.

“You’re on.”

\----------------------------------------------------

Hinata happily fell into bed that night, his hand still feeling Kageyama’s. It felt different that time. It wasn’t one dragging the other and forgetting to let go. It was deliberate. On purpose. And Kageyama hadn’t turned away, hadn’t pulled his hand back. No, he had wrapped his fingers around Hinata’s hand too.

Hinata was giddy at the thought. Did this mean Kageyama liked him back? Like, like liked him? As in dating him? Hinata had to resist the urge to dance in the dorm room. Instead, he just smiled as big as he could, trying not to squeal. Kageyama liked him!

Now what though? Hinata would probably have to actually confess his feelings. Maybe with a painting? Or he could just ask him out, that might work better. What would they do? The picnic was already maybe a date. What else was there to do on campus? Or locally? There was a movie theater, that was an option…

Hinata was so wrapped in his thoughts, he forgot everything else. His mind was thankfully away from the things Kageyama had said back in the studio, and his own doubts. Their constant squabbles that had become more frequent lately began to melt away from his memory. Finally, Hinata thought, _we can stop these stupid arguments about perfection and and detail and structure and all that. We can date! Dating Kageyama..._

His problems hopefully solved, Hinata drifted off with a smile on his face

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Catch me doing toucan research for 20 minutes to write 2 lines of this fanfic  
> Facts i learned:  
>  Toucan beaks are made from the same stuff as our fingernails  
>  Toucan beaks never stop growing  
>  Toucan skeletons are really cursed  
>  Toucans have a super long tongue  
>  On average, toucans live for about 20 years  
>  Toucan beaks have a honey-comb like structure and that combined with the material makes them very lightweight  
>  Toucans are endangered  
> This has been Toucan Facts  
> Anyway, I hope yall enjoyed this chapter, I'm very excited for the next one ;)  
> As always, next chapter will be posted within the week! Come chat with me @squydneyyy on tumblr if you feel so inclined, and comments and kudos are greatly appreciated <3


	14. Frustration and Broken Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata continues to be frustrated at his lack of progress with the anatomy project. Kageyama is no different, also starting to feel even more irritated with his song.

Hinata was going to break something. Like a canvas. Though he probably shouldn’t, the nice ones he had weren’t exactly cheap. Maybe he could just rip up some of his sketchbook paper. Yeah, that would do it.

Still, he was ready to break a paintbrush because of the stupid anatomy project. Nothing was going right. All his teachers constantly got mad at him, critiquing his work viciously, and asking to see him after class. It was even worse to see the drastic improvement his friends had made, while he was left with the same thing.

What was the point anyways? He was fine with landscapes! He had gotten better at those without stupid rules and straight lines and the right tools. Why did he need to do all these studies? Why did it have to be realistic or whatever? But more importantly: why did he suck at this project?

“Maybe you should actually work on improving and listen to your critiques instead of complaining,” Tsukishima remarked snidely when Hinata was loudly complaining to Suga and Daichi in the dorms.

“I-I totally listen to critique! I work hard!” Hinata said, but it lacked confidence and made Suga and Daichi both raise an eyebrow. “Okay, maybe I could listen more, or like, pay more attention, but it’s so boring and all their critiques are so harsh!” Hinata slumped in his chair at the dining table with a pout.

“Well, while critique can be difficult to hear sometimes, it’s to help you improve,” Daichi said evenly.

“How does ‘this sucks and is terrible and you suck at art’ helpful?” Hinata complained.

“Hinata, I doubt a teacher actually said that,” Suga replied.

“Well, it’s basically what she said!” Hinata said, throwing his hands in the air. Suga rolled his eyes, but still kept a fond smile on his face.

“Hinata, it’s important to listen to your teachers, just like Daichi said, it’ll help you improve,” Suga said.

“Yeah, yeah, I know, but they’re so mean!” Hinata whined. Suga just sighed.

“Have you never had a critique before, Hinata?” Daichi asked.

“Not until I started school here. I never had any formal art classes or anything, the only other serious artist I knew was Yamaguchi,” Hinata said.

“That explains a lot,” Tsukishima chimed in, a smirk on his face. Hinata threw a colored pencil at him.

“Where do you keep getting these?” Suga asked, picking it up off the floor.

“Doesn’t matter. I have to go anyway.” Hinata got up from his chair and headed to his dorm room.

“Hey Hinata, most of us are gonna be out tonight by the way! So don’t be worried if the dorm is empty!” Suga shouted out behind him. Hinata didn’t turn, simply giving a thumbs up as he disappeared into his room, not noticing the worried looks leveled at his back.

In his dorm room, Hinata’s eyes found the painting he had hung all those weeks ago. Near the door was a group of people overlooking a sunset. Hinata looked closer. The people weren’t very defined, looking really blobby and strange. The proportions of the landscape were a bit weird too. The distant hills didn’t look quite so distant, the colors blending and merging together. The city looked wrong too. Even the tree was strange-looking, an even worse crow sitting in it.

When had this painting become so terrible? How was this in his portfolio? How did he even get into the school with it? How did he even get into the school at all?

Hinata reached out, his finger gentle grazing the crow in the tree. He used to put one in most of his paintings, like some sort of meta signature or something. But in school, he was so caught up with everything, with all these new mediums and rules and critiques and, and, and, well. He forgot to put it in.

 _Maybe I should just take this stupid painting off the wall,_ Hinata thought. He brought his hands up to the sides of the cheap hanging canvas, ready to throw it under his bed to gather dust, but he stopped.

He thought about when he hung this on his wall, along with all his photos. His family. Hands, shaking, he dropped his arms. It was everyone important in his life. It was his final portfolio piece. He couldn’t.

Instead, Hinata turned away, and started putting supplies in his bag. He wasn’t supposed to meet Kageyama for another hour, but he couldn’t stand being in the dorms anymore. Packing his things, he slipped out of his room and down the hall.

\----------------------------------------------------

The sky was grey and wind whipped around Hinata as he wandered campus. The cold weather was keeping a lot of people inside, so not many other students were out and about. Hinata found himself walking towards where the Fukurodani and Nekoma dorms were.

Approaching the big mural, he was sad to see no one working on it. Though it was clear someone had. It seemed like the last thing that was needed was adding detail. The large blotches of color now resembled the cats and owls they were meant too, moving fluidly and with purpose. It looked amazing.

How did they do it? Why couldn’t he do that?

Hinata shook his head. That wasn’t the attitude he should be having. He shouldn’t be jealous or all depressed. Other people’s art should inspire him! Not bring him down! What was with him lately?

Well, he knew what was with him lately. The stupid anatomy project. And of course, stupid Kageyama.

The project was killing him. It was everything he hated. No freedom, no fun use of colors, it was all about accuracy, about _perfection_. Hinata was anything but perfect. His art was messy and adventurous, he made it up as he went. This project didn’t like that. This project was about bone structure and proper movement and textures. He sucked at that! Every critique it was the same problem, the same mistakes, the same highlighter yellow crossing over all of his mistakes. Yet every time, he couldn’t bring himself to change.

Then there was Kageyama. The best and worst thing he had. Hinata had friends of course, Suga and Yamaguchi and Kenma and Yachi. But Kageyama, he was… more. He worked so well with Hinata, he understood him. He brought out the best colors, the best paintings, with his amazing violin playing. Even without art or music, when they just sat together at lunch or walked to class, it was amazing.

The flip side though. Oh, the flip side.

Especially recently, Kageyama had been impossible. It was bad enough to get critiqued in class, but now Kageyama decided he would do it too? He was always bringing up how Hinata was undisciplined, sloppy, and had no technique. Sure, maybe Hinata didn’t always let Kageyama off the hook either, but their arguments were becoming more frequent and heated lately. Of course, in the end, they would always drop it, ignore it, and get back to what they were doing. Still, all the comments always lingered.

These two sides were killing Hinata. Everyday he was getting both closer and further away to Kageyama. Even when holding hands on top of the hill that night, it felt off. Like Kageyama wasn’t real. Like he was a thousand miles away. How do you hate and love someone? How can they be right next to each other, yet still have distance?

How could he make Hinata feel so light, yet so heavy?

Was this what love was? A feather and a brick, cold hands, warm faces, a million miles and a single step.

Hinata didn’t know.

The footsteps of a nearby walker brought Hinata back to the real world, back to the mural on the wall. The cats and the owls, right before they ripped each other apart.

He turned away and continued his wandering journey, shivering. He shouldn’t have stood still for so long. He rubbed his hands up and down his arms before pulling out his phone and checking the time. He still had half an hour before he was meeting Kageyama in the art studio so they could work on their projects. He knew from Yamaguchi that the music students had at least a rough draft of their songs by now. He was excited to hear Kageyama’s. It was about him, after all.

Hinata didn’t really know where else to go, so he decided to go to the gardens again. He doubted they would be too crowded due to the weather, so it might be nice. He picked up the pace a bit, glad to have a destination in mind.

\----------------------------------------------------

He was right about it not being crowded. In fact, it was empty. The bushes and trees rustled pleasantly in the winds, making a sort of music. Though it was cold and dreary, the garden still had color in it, for which Hinata was grateful. He sat himself down on one of the benches, pulling out his sketchbook. He had about twenty minutes left, might as well make the most of it.

He started out sketching aimlessly, not really caring what it was he was drawing. That is, until he was startled from his art by the loud cawing of a crow in the garden. Then he decided to draw that.

His crow wasn’t perfect by any means, but it was nice to draw it. He used to draw them all the time, they were and still are his favorite animal after all. He liked that they were smart and scrappy, and had black feathers. They were cool.

After filling a page with strangely shaped crows, Hinata hopped off the bench and packed up his things, ready to head to the studio to meet Kageyama for their late-afternoon painting/music/hangout session.

\----------------------------------------------------

This just wasn’t his day, was it?

Hinata ripped another page out of his sketchbook, throwing it aside. He really wanted to curse the gods who invented anatomy. Or like, the science that invented it. And he especially wanted to curse the creator of this anatomy project who decided that bone structure was an important thing to get right.

Hinata set his pencil down, looking over to Kageyama instead, who wasn’t having an easy time either. He was attempting to play some piece that was apparently super hard, but he kept on messing up. He could barely make it thirty seconds before the swirling colors he built up were interrupted with a very out-of-place wrong note. Hell, even without the help of his synesthesia, Hinata could hear the misstep.

“Kageyama, maybe we should take a break,” Hinata suggested tentatively. Kageyama continued like he didn’t hear him. At least, he did until he struck another mistake.

“Shit!” Kageyama shouted. He pulled the violin harshly away from his chin. He held the bow so tight it looked like it may snap.

“So vulgar Kageyama,” Hinata teased as usual, but it lacked enthusiasm. Hinata stood up, stretching his legs. “Why don’t we just go back to the dorms?”

Kageyama didn’t respond, but he nodded his assent, and the two started out the door. As they walked, Hinata felt himself hyper aware of Kageyama’s hand next to his own. How close they were. He felt like he could just reach out and-

“So how’s your art thingy going?”

Hinata snapped back to attention, looking up at Kageyama and flashing him a smile.

“Great! I mean, it’s not my favorite project I guess, and I’ve done better work, and I could work on it more, but it’s just soooo boooring, ya know?” Hinata moved his eyes away from Kageyama’s gaze, choosing to skip ahead slightly. “It’s not that I don’t wanna improve, but it’s just… I dunno, it just is!”

“Sure.”

They continued walking in silence. It wasn’t too late at night, and a lot of students were milling about. It was the weekend, he supposed. A lot of kids were out and about, eating dinner, at parties, whatever suited them. Which is why when Kageyama and Hinata got to the dorm, they found it empty.

“Suga said something earlier about no one being around,” Hinata said. Kageyama just nodded, but then Hinata stopped him, smiling up at him devilishly. “Which means no one can stop us from playing Uno as loud as we want.” With that, he grabbed Kageyama’s hand and pulled him to the main area, running around to get his secret Uno stash.

He slammed it dramatically down on the table, and started to shuffle.

“So what’s the score right now?”

“42 to 41 me,” Kageyama replied. Hinata frowned at that, dealing the cards.

“Are you sure? I definitely thought I beat you yesterday at that race to make our beds faster.”

“That was a tie, Suga said so himself!”

“No way! I totally won, Suga was just saying that so you wouldn’t get upset!”

“He was not!”

“Well, it doesn’t matter now! I’m about to even the score!”

Hinata immediately played a draw two on the first card. Kageyama narrowed his eyes, and the game began.

\----------------------------------------------------

Too many card games later, Hinata and Kageyama sat in a mess of thrown-in-the-air Uno cards.

“You don’t have to be petty just because I won!”

“You rigged the shuffle. No way you got 4 draw 4 wild cards.”

“I just got lucky!”

“We aren’t counting that one.”

“I am!”

“You’re wrong.”

Hinata flicked a card at Kageyama’s face.

“Whatever, Stupidyama.” Hinata knelt down on the floor, pushing all the cards into a pile. Kageyama reluctantly helped out too, and when all the cards were in a neat-ish pile, the two sat and looked at each other for a moment.

Kageyama was the first to look away, awkwardly fixing the deck on the table. Hinata looked on fondly, deciding to save him from… whatever it is he was doing.

“Oh! I just remembered, I have to finish one more sketch!” Hinata jumped up. “Here, come with me to my dorm room, and bring your violin! I need that in the sketch.”

“Sure, dumbass.” Kageyama got up too, reaching for the violin that he had left on another chair in the midst of their Uno catastrophe. Both of them walked into the room, Kageyama setting his violin down on one of the beds, and Hinata sitting down at his desk chair, grabbing his sketchbook from the corner of the desk.

“Hey, I have an idea! I wanna draw you playing, and what better thing to play than the song you wrote for me!” Kageyama stiffened at Hinata’s request, freezing in the middle of opening his violin case.

“It’s not finished,” he said shortly.

“Come on, pleeeaaaasssseeeee???” Kageyama flipped open the case, looking at his violin and bow, like he was really considering it for a moment. Just as quickly, however, he pulled his hands away.

“No. I’ll play something else.”

“What? Come on, you get to see all my drawings!”

“Yeah, your shitty drawings,” Kageyama mumbled. Hinata frowned.

“Sure, yeah, they aren’t the best, but if you can see my ‘shitty drawings’ then I wanna hear your shitty song!” Despite trying to keep it light, a twinge of annoyance curled its way into Hinata’s voice.

“It’s not shitty!”

“Then play it!”

“I don’t want to!”

“Why? Because it isn’t perfect like everything you have to do?”

Hinata looked down slightly. He shouldn’t have said that, but it was true.

“Maybe it isn’t perfect. But at least I strive for perfection,” Kageyama said coolly. Hinata’s lips tightened, but he chose to ignore the comment.

“I don’t care if it’s perfect. I just want to hear it.”

“No.”

“Have you even written it at all? Too scared to write a single note?” 

Kageyama’s eyes widened for a split second, but narrowed again just a quickly.

“What’s it to you? So what if I don’t write one stupid song? I’m still a good musician. This project doesn’t matter.”

“What are you afraid of? Messing up? Being embarrassed?”

“I’m not afraid! So just drop it, alright?!” Hinata stepped backwards at the outburst, contemplating what to do.

They had hit that point. The point in the fight where one of them would turn away. Where fear of compromising this unstable friendship, this tentative romance, would get in the way. Someone would drop it. Someone would say “whatever.” But this time, Hinata couldn’t stand it. How could he not make the song? How could he throw away all that skill, not try on a project that sounded so easy? Because what, he was _scared_? How could he not push himself, when he was so talented? He was better than that, he was better, he-

“You’re better than this!” Hinata shouted. He even surprised himself with his outburst, but held firm. Kageyama’s eyes narrowed dangerously, but Hinata pressed on. “Stop acting like you can’t do it, it’s too hard, when you’re good enough to write one stupid song! You just won’t, because you’re scared to not be a perfect little robot!”

Hinata was breathing hard. Kageyama’s face was unreadable.

“Good to know you think I’m ‘better than this,’” Kageyama spat, “but I hope you know I won’t say the same shit to you. Because you aren’t better than this. You’re a lazy amature who got decent at landscapes and acts like he’s a real artist now, when he doesn’t even know the basics. You’re not even trying with this project, and for what? Because it’s too hard to have technique or any actual skill? Too hard to improve? Too hard to take a single word of criticism? You’ll never make it.”

“So what if I never make it?” Hinata yelled. “That makes two of us then! There’s a hundred people who can play just as well as you, better even! Those people have some soul in their playing, they’re actually making music, while you’re stuck being a copycat who can’t do anything for himself!”

“I have more talent in my pinky finger than you do in your entire body! I’ll make it alright, I’m better than everyone here! While you’re stuck on using a ruler or making a person have normal body proportions! Third graders can do that! You just hide behind your pretty landscapes and stupid synethesia excuse instead of actually trying to improve!”

“I don’t use synesthesia as an excuse! I’m not like you and your excuses about it not being perfect! God, no wonder those other musicians left you on stage! You’re impossible!”

Kageyama’s face twisted, but he continued on.

“Well, no wonder your teachers hate you! You can’t take any criticism! You act like you’re above it all, but you’re not! Just because you’re ‘creative’ you act like you understand art better than everyone else!”

“Well I understand it better than you! At least I can be creative!”

“At least I have skill!”

“At least I have soul!”

“At least I have talent!”

“Robot!”

“Amature!”

“Asshole!”

“Coward!”

“King!”

They were right up in each other’s faces at that point, unafraid of who saw or heard. Their faces were both red and their breathing hard. At Hinata’s final word, Kageyama shoved him to the floor.

Hinata fell on his back with a dull thud, looking up at the ceiling of his dorm room.

“You’re a childish, talentless, waste of resources at this school. You never should have gotten in.” Hinata never hated the color blue so much. But instead of words, Hinata stood up and eyed the open violin case on his bed.

Later he would regret this moment so much, it would feel like his insides were bleeding and eating him alive.

But all Hinata could see was red, red, red, and he grabbed Kageyama’s violin bow and snapped it in two.

Kageyama stared as Hinata dropped the splintered pieces on the floor. Wordlessly, he reached for the first thing he could find on Hinata’s wall.

The canvas was cheap. Hinata’s mom was nice enough to get him art supplies, but they weren’t expensive ones. However, Hinata still didn’t think they were that easy to break over a knee.

At least, Kageyama made it look easy.

The sunset was broken in two. So was the happy family watching it. Earlier, Hinata had been thinking about how weird the people looked. How bad the perspective was. He almost took it off the wall. But he didn’t. Because that painting represented the happy memories he had. The love in his life. The most important people. So he left it there.

He wished he hadn’t.

Hinata looked up only when a door slammed. The violin on the bed was missing, but the broken bow and painting still sat on his floor. Kageyama was gone too.

Everything was gone.

Only then did Hinata breathe out. Bringing a hand up to a sensation at his cheek, he realized tears were running down his face. He didn’t even sob or sniffle. Tears flowed freely down and hit the floor with barely a sound.

Alone in his dorm, frozen in the middle of the room, Hinata silently cried. The sun fell behind him, encasing the room in grey. He found himself sinking down to the floor, legs tucking in, he buried his face in his knees. 

He didn’t get up for a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of yall saw this coming. To those who didn’t, uh… surprise?
> 
> Also thanks to my beta reader Bel who, when I asked if you could even break a violin bow, responded with “oh its 100% possible bows are fuckin flimsy and if ur strong enough u can break it like a baguette over ur knee”
> 
> Also Also, important announcement from me: I’m taking a short break! I know, I know, this is a really mean place to take a break at. But don’t worry! I’ll be back soon! In fact, the next few chapters are ones I’ve been waiting to write since the beginning! Which is why I want to take more time to make them better. I’ve also been moving around a lot in the past few weeks and haven’t had too much time to write, so when I’m more settled in one place, I can get going! I shouldn’t be gone too long, only a few weeks at most, and then back to our regularly scheduled programming (Trust me, I love this fic too much to put it on an actually long hiatus.) 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who comments, and if you wanna chat or check in, hit me up at any time @squydneyyy on tumblr! Thank you all for your continued reading and I’ll see you soon :)


	15. Lectures and Astronauts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata tries to deal with his fight with Kageyama and the impending doom of the anatomy project, and gets help from an unexpected source.

It was a quiet day in the dorms, a couple days after what had been dubbed by everyone as “the incident.” Most people were out and about, in class or their studios or what have you. All except one. Hinata was still in his dorm room, hyping himself up to leave and running through an overly complicated twelve step plan on what to do if he saw Kageyama.

Taking a deep breath, Hinata cautiously peaked his head out of the door, checking to see if anyone was there. He couldn't handle Suga’s mothering or Tsukishima’s snarky comments about the situation. 

“Well, look who it is.”

Hinata jumped in the air, accidentally pulling the door closed, hitting himself with it, and falling on the floor. The door creaked open, and a figure loomed over Hinata.

“Nice to see you’re still alive, kid.” Ukai, one of the dorm's two adult advisors, reached a hand down to Hinata to help him up.

“Hi Ukai! Sorry! I was just looking to see if anyone was around, they’ve all been nagging me because of this fight- not that there’s anything you need to be concerned about! It’s all under control, trust me, I could go out any time, nothing happening, don’t-”

Ukai waved his hand dismissively. “Relax, kid, I got the whole story already.”

“You- you have?” Hinata suddenly felt very pale. If the teacher knew the story, that couldn't be good. What if he was in trouble? Was Ukai just waiting for him outside his room? Was he expelled? He couldn’t be expelled!

“Christ, I can practically hear the gears in your head turning! You aren’t in trouble, don’t worry.” Hinata let out a breath and Ukai huffed a laugh at his dramatics. “Sugawara told me what happened because he thought I might be able to help. Come on, no one should be back for a few hours.” Ukai turned and walked out of the dorm room and into the common area, sitting himself down. Hinata followed, still fidgeting slightly.

“So… what’s the problem?” Ukai said, leaning back in his chair.

“Ok, well, Kageyama and I got in this fight, and he broke my painting! But I mean I broke stuff too but I guess that’s not the point, basically we fought and he’s supposed to be my person for this art project, the anatomy project, do you know that one? Wait you’re an art teacher here of course you know what that is, but anyway we had a fight.”

Ukai hummed. “I knew that much. But, what’s the problem?”

“What?” Hinata tilted his head.

“I assume the fight wasn’t for nothing, right? What caused you two to go at it?”

“Oh. Um, basically I thought Kageyama was holding back. He’s so afraid of being creative, stuck on this idea of being perfect and stuff! He never tries anything new, he acts like this robot and isn’t trying on this project! So I told him that, and he got mad, and we started yelling, and… yeah.”

“Alright. What did he say to you then?”

“To me?” Hinata gulped. “Well, he accused me of being an amateur who never tries to improve myself… he’s wrong though! I want to improve! I just don’t like this project, that’s all.”

“Why’s this project got you so upset?”

“It’s just… there’s so many rules! Everything has to look perfect and accurate and realistic, there’s no freedom at all! It’s about studies and rulers and nothing has any feeling and every critique is just everyone telling me how much I suck at realism! Why should I even bother trying?” Hinata fell back onto the couch with a huff. Ukai continued to look unperturbed, staring wistfully at the ceiling.

After a moment, he spoke. “So, what I’m hearing is that you’re purposefully not trying because you’re bad at it, and you want an excuse for your work being bad rather than trying and it still being bad?”

Hinata stopped. And replayed Ukai’s words.

Again. And again.

He had no idea what the look on his face was, but apparently it was funny enough to make Ukai laugh out loud. “So I hit the nail on the head then?” Hinata didn’t reply, and Ukai laughed some more.

“Hey kid, I get it,” Ukai said with a smile. “Same thing happened to me! I got into art school for drawing portraits. Then one time, we had to draw a tree. And I sucked at it! Who knew drawing trees was something you could be bad at? I learned eventually, but it wasn’t fun. But the girl who painted these beautiful trees with just a few brush strokes? I don’t think she could have drawn an accurate perspective piece to save her life. Everyone’s good at different things, it seems.”

Hinata didn’t respond, but he found himself calming down from Ukai’s previous earth-shattering revelation. Still, something else was nagging in his chest. Ukai seemed to notice too.

“I also know from your teachers, Suga, and what you just said, that you’ve been having trouble with critique.” Hinata averted his eyes. “It’s okay, I know the feeling. I’ve got class soon, but I have a final story for you.

“Before I went to art school for college, I never had a single formal art class.” Hinata looked up in surprise, and Ukai gave him a knowing smile. “Parents couldn’t pay for a ton of art classes all the time, they were too busy trying to save the money for me to go to college.” Ukai took a breath, looking pensive, and began to speak again.

“I remember my very first painting class well, mainly because of the teacher. For our first few pieces, he went easy on us. Critique wasn’t as critical as it could have been. Some people would even say he coddled us. And in the end, they were right. He did coddle us. That is, until a few weeks into the class. He told us that the next critique we got would be different. Because it would be the worst critique we would ever have. This guy was serious! He said he wanted us to be able to take even the most harsh critique, so when we got into higher level classes it would be okay. So he took it upon himself to give us the meanest critique possible.

“I walked in that next class not knowing what to expect. I got to know pretty soon though. ‘Cause I had to go first. Thus started the worst thirty minutes of my life. The teacher didn’t hold back on anything. He looked directly at me and told me all the terrible things about my painting. He asked condescending questions. He ripped apart my painting stroke by stroke in front of the whole class. It was the worst. After it happened, I remember ranting to anyone who would listen about how much of an asshole that teacher was, how much the critique sucked, how I hated it.

“Funny thing is, I cite that as the most important criticism I ever got in my life. That teacher didn’t let me get away with anything, and every piece after that I analyzed so much harder. That critique made me understand so much more, made me think more. I look back on that piece and laugh about how careless I was. And yeah, in the moment, it hurt a lot. Critiques still hurt. It’s hard to put your heart and soul on the paper or the canvas or the what-have-you, and have someone tell you it isn’t good enough. It sucks even more when you feel like the only kid affected by it. All the other kids got practice taking a critique in their nice art classes. It makes you want to push away the critique, the things you aren’t good at. It makes you wanna stand still.” Ukai then turned and looked right at Hinata.

“You can’t do that. You can’t stand still. You have to be bad at things, you have to try something new. Remember that a critique happens to make you better. Your teachers want you to get better. They’re here to help, even if it doesn’t sound like it sometimes. You can’t be scared of criticism. It has to be something you embrace, something you grab onto and work on. It’s not easy, no no, it’s never easy. But kid, if you wanna go far in art, if you wanna get better, if you wanna paint what _you_ want, well, you better get used to it.”

With that, Ukai stood up from his chair and pulled a pack of cigarettes from his pocket. 

“Well, I got a class to go to. I hope I helped a little bit. Though I know it takes a little more than some old guy telling you his art school stories to change your mind. My next best advice: there’s a thousand talented students at this school. Try asking them some questions.”

Sticking an unlit cigarette in his mouth, Ukai left the building, leaving a speechless Hinata behind. The door closed with a soft click, and Hinata sat for a moment, Ukai’s words swimming in his head. He was right that everything he said didn’t completely change his mind. Still, it felt like something had changed. Someone had told him exactly what he didn’t want to hear, what he had been hiding. Yet he did it with no judgement. A problem Hinata could solve, something he could get over, if he wanted.

And what he had said about critiques. That critiques being something that’s hard and something that helps are ideas that can coexist. Everything was still adjusting in Hinata’s mind. It had been since the fight with Kageyama. Since recounting it to Suga. Since putting the pieces of his painting in a box under his bed.

Hinata had an idea of himself, a way to go about life. And it was now being challenged and changed in a way that left Hinata feeling like he was going through a blender. Still, he could fix this. He could change. As much as he hated to admit it, Kageyama had been right about some things. He was a coward. But not anymore.

Time to take the final piece of advice Ukai had and go ask some questions.

\----------------------------------------------------

Well, actually, before it was time to go ask some questions, it was time to hide out in his room until Kageyama was back in his own room, just to avoid any accidental hallway confrontations. Sadly, Nishinoya wasn’t having it.

“Hinata! You’ve been holed up in this room ever since that stupid fight with Kageyama! Go outside! Have fun!” Nishinoya said, shaking Hinata’s shoulders.

“I can’t! What if I run into Kageyama? Then what? What if he like… hits me?”

“He’s not gonna hit you! Plus, I know that right now he’s in his room, so you can currently escape the dorm!”

“But what if he comes out of the room at the same time I do?” Hinata asked, wringing his fingers. Nishinoya puffed out his chest proudly.

“I’ll protect you! Now let’s go!” With that, Nishinoya shoved Hinata out the door. Hinata tripped over nothing with a yelp, barely catching himself as Nishinoya laughed behind him. 

Then there was a noise. A noise like a door clicking, and starting to open. A noise coming from across the hall. Where Kageyama’s door was.

_Oh no oh no oh no I can’t see Kageyama!_ Hinata thought. So, he did what he did best.

Panic.

Stumbling over the carpet, Hinata ran to the nearest exit, which just so happened to be down the hall. Without looking back, he pushed open the dorm’s doors and into the cold autumn air. It hit him like a rush, him taking a deep breath that felt icy in his lungs. Letting it out, he could see his breath in front of him. He forgot how fast it got cold in the fall. Halloween hadn’t even happened yet.

Shivering slightly, not dressed appropriately in the slightest, Hinata knew he had three options: one, go back into the dorm, where Kageyama was. Two, stay out in the cold. Or three, go to the art studio and hope Kageyama won’t go to the music studio that night.

Option one wasn’t an option, and Hinata didn’t even have a jacket. So with a deep breath, he started his way to the studio, trudging through the cold late-afternoon campus. The trees were losing color faster now, leaves painting the ground. Hinata quite liked it, actually. He liked all the colors swirling around, oranges and yellows and reds. It was like everyone could see what he saw on a daily basis. It reminded him of one piece Kageyama would pla-

_No. No thinking about Kageyama,_ Hinata told himself. He shook his head as he pushed open the doors to the thankfully warm art and music studios. _It’ll just make it worse._

Thankfully the studio wasn’t too full, a few students meandered in the hallway, giving him strange looks for a shorts and t-shirt ensemble he was sporting. Hinata just ignored them, making his way to the back room where he worked.

Surprisingly, it was empty save for one familiar face.

“Oh! Hi Hinata! I didn’t know you were coming in today!” Cotton candy pink brushed over Hinata’s eyes and he smiled brightly at Yachi.

“Hey Yachi! Yeah, I didn’t know either, but now that I am here, might as well do some painting!” Hinata said, a bounce in his step as he walked to his stool.

“Cool! I’m actually doing some painting stuff too…” Yachi said shyly.

“Really! What?!” Hinata changed course, racing over to Yachi’s station. On her canvas was what looked like a close-up of the chest of a toucan, brightly colored and textured.

“It’s for the anatomy thing, I’m doing feathers, and I didn’t really like how they looked on digital, and my teacher said I could try painting instead, and I’m in a painting class anyway, it’s not very good I know but I like how the feathers look a lot better.” 

Hinata nodded along at Yachi’s words. However, the only thing he could manage to mumble was, “That looks good Yachi.”

Yachi gave him a strange look as he walked back to his station. “Is something wrong with it?” she asked.

“No! No, nothing like that!” Hinata backtracked quickly. “I just… I don’t really like the anatomy project. It’s giving me a lot of trouble.”

“Oh, why?”

“I don’t know! I mean, I’m having trouble with critique, and I talked to Ukai and he said I kind of just have to get over it, but I still hate it! I don’t know if I can just suddenly get over it, but I have to for the sake of getting better! And I still can’t help but hate all these stupid rules and restrictions! This anatomy thing has so many! You have to paint this and do a study on this and it has to look right and realistic and you have to do this style and these shapes and use these tools and I just don’t get why!” Hinata sighed, slumping in his stool. “I really want to figure it out. I want to be good, to get better! My brain just doesn’t accept that I guess.”

Yachi sat in silence for a moment, processing the information, before putting her brush down, fully turning to Hinata.

“I mean, I don’t know if I can really say much about it, I’m not like a great artist or anything, but I actually like rules and guidelines. When I am just told, do anything, I get so confused! What does that mean, what should I do? But when I know what the restrictions are, it’s almost like I get more freedom if that makes sense? Like, it’s hard to paint an entire room, but when I have a little canvas square, I feel less nervous. Did that make sense? I’m sorry I don’t really know-”

“No Yachi, I kind of get it. My friend said something similar one time.”

“Oh I hope I’m not repeating stuff you’ve heard a bunch!”

“Don’t worry, he only told me once! I didn’t really pay attention, it was about coding, but he said he liked how he could be creative in guidelines or something. I still don’t really get it, but I was thinking of asking some of the upperclassmen about it too.”

“That’s a good idea! I used to think Asahi was really scary, but he actually helped me a lot with coloring when I was having trouble with it, and Daichi is really talented!”

“Well, I’ll definitely talk to them tomorrow then!”

“Oh! Good!” Yachi and Hinata smiled at each other. “And, maybe I can help with the critique thing too! I’m really bad at it. My first critique in high school was a disaster!”

“Really?” Hinata asked. Yachi seemed so sweet and professional with her ipad and her amazing drawings.

“Yeah! When I got my first critique in high school, I got such a horrible critique by one professor that I brought her some flowers to make up for it! I thought she was offended at my art or something, since she had been so harsh! She laughed at me, which was embarrassing, but told me she didn’t hate me.. She said that everyone had a lot of room for growth, and critique was there to help me grow. But she also told me it was ok to hate it. To come home and rant to everyone, even to cry! Which was weird advice, but it really did help me! I mean Ukai is right that critique is important and you can’t avoid it or ignore it! He probably knows way more than me about it. But… you can hate it too. No one says you have to like it! I know that there’s this whole stone-faced thing everyone has when they get comments, like they aren’t affected, and it’s scary! It’s like, are they really not scared? But they are too! I don’t know anyone who genuinely loves critique. I mean, it’s people telling you all the problems with your work. No one likes it, you aren’t alone. So, don’t be afraid to hate it, or be scared. You just have to be brave too.”

Hinata was thoughtful for a moment, considering both Yachi and Ukai’s advice. He did have to get over his fear to some degree, and understand the purpose of critique. But it was also nice to hear that it was hard for other people too. He didn’t have to like it. He could hate it. He just had to be brave.

“Wow Yachi, that was really good advice!” Hinata said brightly.

“It was? Oh good, I really hope I wasn’t overstepping my bounds or saying anything bad or unhelpful! And like at the end, I wasn’t trying to say you aren't brave! I was just saying that like, it’s scary?”

“Don’t worry Yachi, I understand! Thanks for your advice, about working in the rules, being brave, and talking to the upperclassmen tomorrow!”

“Oh, you’re welcome!” Yachi squeaked. Hinata gave her one last big smile before turning to his work station, looking at the canvases and brushes and wondering what to paint.

“Wait, Hinata, one more thing, I was wondering how, um, well, how you were doing with Kageyama after the fight?” Yachi asked tentatively.

Hinata felt that hole in his chest again, stealing some of his air.

“Fine.” Hinata twiddled with a brush in his hand.

“I’m sorry, I really shouldn’t have brought it up! That was stupid! I just… you seem sadder, and you’re in your room more, and you don’t paint as much, and I miss when you two would paint and make music. It was really pretty.”

“Yeah. It was. But we just had a disagreement on something important, and I did something stupid, and now I don’t really know what’s going to happen.”

“Sorry I said anything, really!” Yachi waved her hands in front of her in apology. “I think that it’s okay if you don’t really know what’s going to happen though. It’ll work out in the end!”

“I hope so.”

Yachi turned back to her painting, and Hinata looked back at his station. He didn’t know what to paint a moment ago, but now, he did. Something… very different. Sorting around, Hinata was reminded of an interesting talk in their painting class about canvases, specifically canvases that weren’t white. Their teacher had given them each a black canvas, just to experiment on if they wanted.

Well, Hinata had the perfect idea.

Pulling out the black canvas, he set it on his easel carefully and reached for a lot of white paint. Dipping his brush in, he started to create a large circle in the bottom right of the painting, his strokes obvious and bright against the background.

A planet began to form, covered in rocky patterns and textures. Around it, chains of white and grey rocks began to take shape, circling it. Hinata added in a satellite too, or at least what he thought one looked like, a strange shape with antenna and cords and panels.

He created distant galaxies and flicked paint everywhere to get stars. Finally, in the center of the canvas, he painted a small figure. The figure was a bit bulky, it was a spacesuit after all. Attached to the suit was a cord that was broken, leaving the space walker alone.

Drifting.

Taking a step back, Hinata realized how dark it had gotten outside. The usual murmurs, footsteps, and faint music from the studios were gone, as was Yachi. He hadn’t even heard her leave.

He looked back to his painting, his first and only one done completely in black and white. He picked up his brush one last time, adding a few finishing touches to the painting.

In the back of his mind, he could hear the faint echo of some sort of violin song that he had heard, once before.

He did his best to ignore it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi your favorite author’s back and here to welcome you to DIALOGUE CENTRAL
> 
> Anyway this chapter used to be trash but after some editing and my beta reader reminding me that easel is not spelled like easl, I got back in the swing of things! I am especially proud of the next few chapters, I had a ton of fun writing them and exploring different characters and their personal stories and ideas! So be excited for that!
> 
> Also, fun fact, everything Ukai said about the super mean critique he got is all true! It’s based on a real thing that happened to me, not with art, but with film! Yes my teacher told us beforehand it was gonna be really mean, yes I went first, yes he critiqued my 2 minute film for literally half an hour (not an exaggeration, it was 30 minutes) and yes I ranted to everyone I knew about how shitty it was and maybe cried a little afterwards. In the end though, that critique is the only reason I understand what the 180 degree rule is and it has helped me soooo much in understanding film, so thanks Mr.T
> 
> ALSO ALSO thank you to every single person who left a comment while I was gone, y’all really kept me motivated and are truly gods among men, I love all of you and I’m so happy to be back! <3
> 
> (sorry these notes are so long I’m just very excited!)
> 
> The next chapter will be up within the week, and if you wanna chat about anything and everything please come hit me up @squydneyyy on tumblr!! Thank you so much for sticking around! Kudos and comments are very much appreciated!


	16. Kageyama - Bloody Strings and Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama was very used to being alone.

Kageyama was very used to being alone.

Ever since his grandfather passed away, Kageyama had been alone. He sat away from his peers in lessons, he played solo pieces only, he ate lunch alone. And dinner, but no one needed to know that.

When he tried to be part of a group, it only backfired, leaving him more lost than before, with 3 others on stage yet feeling like he was the only one in the group. He was hated, resented, and isolated from everyone else. At that point, he had accepted it. He requested a single room at Miyagi. He didn’t eat with the others, talk to his classmates, or leave his room if he didn’t have to.

That was how it would always be.

Until, of course, an annoying redhead entered his life.

When he grandfather died, the music all around him had muddled. It was faint, non-existent sometimes. In middle and high school, despite knowing to follow the music like his grandfather said, there was suddenly no more music to follow.

But this overly enthusiastic carrot top made everything sound clear again. He made Kageyama feel… he didn’t even know. He liked how their hands felt together. He liked how his music looked when painted on a canvas. He liked how his voice sounded, how his eyes looked, how he’d stick out his tongue when he concentrated on something. For the first time in a while, Kageyama liked how it felt, to not be alone.

Too bad he had to be himself.

Kageyama sat on his bed in his single room, only a small lamp on in the corner, and looked at the two pieces of violin bow in his hands. It was his grandfather’s bow, one he had gifted to Kageyama. He didn’t use it much, he didn’t even know why he had it that night with Hinata.

He really wished he hadn’t.

Follow the music, follow the music. Well if this is where the music led him then Kageyama was content with plugging his ears, never hearing a single note again. He threw the pieces to the floor, turning over in his bed. Tears made their way down his face, but he didn’t make a sound. He didn’t want anyone to hear him.

It was better to be alone.

\----------------------------------------------------

Kageyama found himself falling into a familiar routine. It was the same one he had developed at the start of the year, before Hinata and his paintings and everything. It was a simple routine, one that involved leaving quietly and going straight to his room once class was over. Never speaking to anyone, never going in the common room.

And of course, avoid Hinata at all costs.

It was almost sad how easy it all was. Still, some part of him missed the feeling of voices in his ears. He had been alone so long, he didn’t even know what it felt like to have somebody. Now he was alone again. But this time, he could feel it. It ached in his bones.

Which is why he found himself at a strange crossroads one afternoon when there was a knock on his door. Kageyama stood up, but hesitated. What if it was Hinata? Or someone else? He had no way of knowing until he opened the door. Something inside him wanted to open it, though. No matter who it was.

Eventually, that need overcame him and Kageyama opened the door. He was very much not expecting Takeda.

“Hello Kageyama! I’m sorry to bother you, but I heard from our RAs that there was a bit of a… situation, and they thought I could help! May I come in?”

Kageyama, still surprised and not really wanting to get on the bad side of a teacher, moved aside and let Takeda in.

“Thank you! I hope you don’t mind me barging in on you like this.” Takeda fiddled nervously with his glasses. “Anyway, I wanted to talk to you about everything that happened, or I suppose you would talk to me. So?”

Kageyama’s eyes narrowed and he felt himself becoming himself again. “There’s nothing to talk about. I got in a fight with Hinata. That’s it.”

“Well, I was under the impression that this fight had some, well, uh, underlying issues that needed to be solved?”

“No.”

Takeda fidgeted slightly, clearing his throat. “I talked to a few of your professors, and I was told that you had been having difficulty with the composing project, is that right?”

Kageyama’s face darkened. “It’s a dumb project.”

Kageyama was expecting a rebuttal like, “no it’s not!” or “that’s not very mature” or the common, “you still have to do it.” However, he was not expecting:

“Why?” Kageyama turned more towards Takeda, who looked at him curiously.

“What?”

“Why is this project, ‘dumb,’ as you called it?”

“I guess it’s just… I don’t know, it’s just dumb! I can play any other piece perfectly well, exactly right, why do I have to write my own? I’m not a composer!”

“Kageyama, are you afraid that your piece will come out poorly?”

“I don’t know!”

“It’s okay if it’s bad-”

“It’s not!” Kageyama yelled. “I’m supposed to be good! Violin is what I’m good at! If I write an original piece, it’ll be bad, and then… then what? I won’t be good anymore…or maybe I was never even good to begin with. Just a robot, no originality, demanding, a needy king. Hinata was right.”

Kageyama slumped onto his bed, head in his hands. His breathing was shaky. _Hinata was right. Hinata was right. They were all right. Oikawa, Kunimi, Kindaichi. I’m not good. I’m not a prodigy. I’m just a fraud, some kid who can copy music but can’t play any for himself._

“When I was in music school, I was a violin player as well, and I was given an assignment very similar to this one.” Kageyama didn’t have him in it yet to look up, but Takeda continued talking. “Our professor said she wanted us to write a song about something we were passionate about. That seems like an easy enough assignment, but I couldn’t think of a single thing.” Takeda laughed a little to himself.

“I guess you could say I hadn’t quite found my passion yet, something odd for someone in a special program for music! Music was fun of course, but I thought writing about it would be cheap, and even then, I doubted a song about music would turn out very well. For me, music was about structure and rules, playing the same thing over and over again until I could get it right. Performances of other people’s work, done in a very specific way, in a very particular style. This teacher though, with this project, told us to be free. To forget all those rules, to follow our passions! I remembered being terrified in my seat, thinking, ‘I don’t have any passions, and I don’t know how to be free!’

“Still, I wrote something. I don’t even remember what it was, or what it was about. What I do remember was the day we shared our pieces with the class. It was just my luck that the professor singled me out to go first. So I stood up there, trembling, bow in hand, and shakily played my piece.” By this time, Kageyama was looking up, breathing even and watching Takeda recount the story.

“It was terrible.” Takeda turned to Kageyama, a grin on his face. “It was awful, the worst piece you’d ever heard. Everyone in the class knew it too, and I always thought they were thinking, ‘wow, I thought Takeda was good! Turns out, he’s terrible!’ I was thinking that too! Still, I played my piece and finished and the room was silent.

“Then, someone started to clap. It was the professor. I thought she was making fun of me, but it was completely sincere. She applauded me, turned to the class, and said, ‘what an excellent first attempt we’ve seen from Takeda! It takes bravery to play an original piece in front of people like that, especially the first one you’ve ever written, and one that has never been refined! Now class, let’s start with the good things we heard in this piece.’

“So that’s what we did. Everyone told me the parts they thought were strong, or had potential, or were unique. And despite not having any real passion or background behind it, my style and my personality had still embedded themselves into my music. It was amazing to hear so much positivity and good advice from something so bad!

“I guess I learned two things from that experience. One, being bad at one thing doesn’t mean you’re bad in general. All my teachers agreed I was a talented player, just not a talented composer yet. And that’s okay, everyone else in that class had songs just as bad as mine! It didn’t mean they weren’t talented, they just weren’t composers yet.

“Secondly, you can get something good from something bad. I didn’t think this project would benefit me at all. However, my playing talent only got better after the project as I started to emphasize the unique edge I brought to music, and enjoyed my own style.

“It was also a liberating experience, being terrible. Every audition and performance I had ever done was supposed to be perfect. This project didn’t need that. We just needed to express ourselves.” Kageyama met Takeda’s eyes, soaking in every word.  
“I suppose I’ve been talking a bit too long, I’m sorry!” Takeda suddenly said, a bit flustered. He straightened up and started to head towards the door, but stopped at the handle. “I hope that was at least a bit helpful Kageyama. You’re a very talented player, and even though it may feel like it, you aren’t a robot. I hope the composing project will help you see that.

“You have my permission to compose an awful piece, Kageyama. As long as you put yourself into it, that part will shine through.” With that, Takeda turned and opened the door, stepping into the hallway.

“Wait, professor Takeda!” Kageyama almost surprised himself with that outburst.

“Yes?” Takeda said, turning around.

“Did you… did you ever find your passion?” Takeda smiled.

“Yes, I did. Teaching, and helping students like you, is a passion I could write a much better piece about.”

Then Takeda was gone, closing the door softly behind him, leaving Kageyama on the bed to think.

_You have my permission to compose an awful piece,_ Takeda had said. It was almost hard to think about. He had always strived for perfection, for the best. Who would he be with something sloppy, something bad? Takeda said that good could come from it, that he could find his spirit, his unique style. But Kageyama didn’t think he had that. Other people didn’t think so either.

Laying back onto his bed, Kageyama felt his mind drifting to a memory he had long since tried to lock away.

\----------------------------------------------------

Kitagawa Daiichi High School was a private high school for only the most elite musicians. It led students straight into the highest ranked music schools, especially Aoba Johsai, one of the best in the area. Kageyama was a wide-eyed first year, taking in the school, listening to the melodies that seemed to leak from the walls.

Finally, a place for him and for others like him. His grandfather had been so excited that morning. “This is it, Tobio!” He had exclaimed while cooking breakfast. “You’re gonna knock the socks off of all those teachers!”

“You think so?” Kageyama asked nervously. His grandfather turned to him, a twinkle in his eye.

“I know so. They would be fools not to recognize your talent!” He said in a booming voice, the one that always made Kageyama laugh. “You’re gonna be great, kiddo,” he said, softer. “You know why?” Kageyama tilted his head. “It’s because of that big heart in your chest. Show them yourself, and they’ll love you.” Kageyama smiled. He could do this.

He clung on to his grandfather’s words as he navigated the halls, coming to his introductory class. He made his way inside and took a seat on the edges. He wasn’t very good with other people, so he tended to distance himself a bit. Still, he felt excitement like a steady beat in his bones.

Soon enough, other people came shuffling in and taking seats, anxiously chattering to each other about the new school year. 

The door burst open with a dramatic clang. All talking ceased as a new face blew into the room, another person behind him.

“Hello everyone!” The first person said in a sing-song. “My name is Oikawa Tooru, I’m a third-year here at Kitagawa Daiichi, and I’m just so glad I get to be a mentor this year! And this is the lovely Iwa-chan, who will also be your mentor!”

“Iwaizumi Hajime. Not Iwa-chan,” Iwaizumi said in a gruff voice, glaring at Oikawa. Oikawa seemed unaffected, simply laughing and turning back to the group.

“This is going to be a fantastic year! So, for this little intro class, we’ll start off with some basics about the school, how the schedules and classes work, which teachers to avoid-” Iwaizumi cuffed Oikawa on the back of the head. “Iwa-chan! Mean! I’m just being honest! Advice about teachers is important!”

“Stick to the script.”

“Hmph! Well, moving along, we’ll be discussing all of that and then taking questions and playing a few ice breaker games!” There were some groans at that, but Oikawa wasn’t deterred. “Now, let’s get started, shall we?”

Oikawa flicked on a projector, and Kageyama let himself get lost in the presentation, daydreaming about his new life at this school, and how great it would be.

And it was great, for a while.

Kageyama was a bit of a loner, but it wasn’t too bad. The teachers all adored him, and even moved him up to some of the higher level classes when they recognized his natural aptitude for music. Everyday after school, Kageyama would show off what he learned to his grandfather, or practice with him. And everyday, his grandfather would clap and give Kageyama the biggest smile and tell him how excited he was to see Kageyama perform. As promised, he went to all the performances Kageyama had that year, and always clapped louder than strictly necessary. Afterwards he would greet Kageyama with a smile and they would get yogurt together on the way home.

The only thing that wasn't great was Oikawa. Kageyama was in one class with him, his only third-year class. Oikawa was the most talented in that class, it was easy to see. Teachers even talked about moving him to the fourth-year classes, but they ended up not doing it.

Oikawa was especially talented with accompaniment, able to play with any pianist easily. It was something Kageyama envied, and he always stuck himself to Oikawa’s side after class to ask him questions about anything and everything music. Oikawa answered, but half the time it was a snarky non-answer, and sometimes he wouldn’t even speak to Kageyama at all. Still, watching Oikawa helped Kageyama get better.

By the end of his first year, they were talking about moving him up to multiple fourth year classes. His grandfather couldn’t have been prouder.

“You see, Tobio?” He had said at dinner one night. “You’re going to be a famous musician before I know it! I’ll come see all your shows, even the ones in the big fancy venues, even the ones out of the country with the most talented musicians in the world. You’ll be right there with them, playing your heart out.”

“You think so?” Kageyama asked eagerly.

“I know so!” His grandfather laughed. “Just keep following the music, Tobio. You’re gonna do great things.”

Kageyama’s grandfather died in the summer between Kageyama’s first and second year.

It was sudden. He had been in and out of the hospital a few years ago, but he had been declared perfectly healthy. Then, out of nowhere, he was back in a hospital bed.

And he never got home.

The funeral is silent. Despite being a musician, there was no music played at his grandfather’s funeral. It was a quiet, black-and-white affair. Stuffy due to the summer.

Kageyama didn’t cry until a few days after, while trying to play a piece his grandfather had written. He couldn’t seem to get it right, fingers fumbling and the music sounded garbled. With that, he broke down completely, because he _just couldn't hear it anymore._ There was no more music swirling around him. It was silent. It was dead. It was an unbearable and aggressive quiet that ate away at his ears and stole his breath. He couldn’t stand it, he couldn’t stand it, _he could not stand it._

He practiced until his fingers bled. He played every song he had memorized and heard. He played until it was faultless, then played it again. He stayed up late into the nice plucking at bloodied strings.

He never tried to play his grandfather’s music again.

Some may say that a bit of good came from Kageyama’s relentless practicing. At school the next year, he blew away many teachers, and his classes became a combination of high level fourth-year classes and the lower level second-year classes. He was in a class with Oikawa again, much to Oikawa’s annoyance. But Kageyama didn’t cling onto him anymore. Didn’t ask questions, didn’t bother. No, Kageyama barely spoke at all. He just played pitch perfect songs and ate lunch alone and stayed after school to practice in empty music rooms.

Oikawa only took issue with Kageyama that year when they were auditioning for the winter performance. Kageyama got to play with the fourth-year orchestra, and then do a smaller piece himself as a second-year. The issue came when the sections and chairs were announced..

Oikawa Tooru, first chair in the second violin section.

Kageyama Tobio, second chair in the first violin section

“But he’s a second year! Why should he be above me? I played better than he did!” Oikawa complained.

“Oikawa, Kageyama is not above you! First chair in the second section is a fantastic position!” His teacher told him.

“I should be in the first section! I should be the first section leader!”

“Oikawa, the auditions happened and the placements are final. First chair in the second section is nothing to snooze at, and it’s where we thought you would best fit. Kageyama is extremely talented and played the piece exactly how the composer intended. It would do you good to remember that this performance is not about you. So deal with your placement!”

Rumors were quick to spread that Oikawa had broken a chair and his violin bow, and almost broke his violin before someone stopped him. Of course, those were just rumors.

Kageyama didn’t care. He wasn’t concerned about Oikawa’s temper tantrum, or how he hated him, or anything. He was passing through school like a ghost, feeling emotions bubbling just under the surface but never arising. The night of the concert, he played just as he always had. The applause was white noise. He used to strain his ears to listen to the out-of-beat claps he once heard, the ones that made him smile.

He didn’t do that anymore.

After the concert, Kageyama found himself in a practice room again. He barely registered what he was playing, simply trying to evade the silence he was plagued with. He didn’t hear the door open, didn’t hear the footsteps come up to him.

“Tobio-chan.” Kageyama startled, lowering his violin.

“Oikawa,” he said quietly.

“Why do you have to be so obnoxious?” Oikawa asked suddenly.

“Wh-what?”

“You heard me. Why did you have to come to the fourth year class? You aren’t even that good. You’re just good at copying things.”

“I don’t-”

“No, no you don’t! You don’t consider anyone else, you’re just selfish, Tobio! Selfish and hollow and unimportant!”

“Oikawa, I-”

“I should’ve had your spot! I should have been in the first section! I have soul! I have passion, and heart, and creativity and style! And you don’t! You have nothing, less than nothing! You’re just a machine!”

“I-”

“There’s nothing in you, Tobio! You’re a cold, emotionless, empty robot! Your perfect playing is a dime a dozen in the real world! You may have beaten me now, but when it comes down to it, you’ll always be second place. You have no heart, no soul, no nothing. And soon, everyone else will see it too.” Oikawa’s eyes were sharp and cruel, digging deep into Kageyama’s head. “You may be able to copy a song and play a few notes, but you will never be a real musician. Just an arrogant wind-up toy.”

There were angry footsteps, a door slam, and then nothing at all.

Kageyama stood in a big, empty room.

_You’re gonna be great, kiddo._

He sank to the ground.

_You know why?_

He felt the cold floor underneath his calloused fingertips.

_It’s because of that big heart in your chest._

He felt the dusty air in his lungs.

_Show them yourself,_

It was dark.

_and they’ll love you._

He was alone.

\----------------------------------------------------

Kageyama’s eyes snapped open. The dorm was dark, the sun having set hours ago. The world was quiet, the only noise coming from the rustling of leaves as a cool autumn breeze swept through the campus. Reaching to his cheek, Kageyama found it damp. He quickly wiped it down.

He vaguely remembered what happened after that. He asked to be moved out of the fourth year classes. He got more irritable. He snapped easier. He yelled more. He felt stuck, trapped in his own emotions. The emotions pushed down in his ghost of a second year were boiling to the surface again.

Then, in his fourth year, well… 

He didn’t have to remember that.

Kageyama slipped out of bed, feet softly hitting the floor. He grabbed his violin case and a spare bow and left the room. He felt like a ghost again. He was always flicking between the two, a ghost and a demon, a mute and a king. He barely knew who he was supposed to be. How was he supposed to put himself into his music? How was he supposed to be himself?

What if this was it?

What if this was himself, all cold and broken and mean and sharp and, and, and…

Kageyama walked out of the dorm. The campus was empty as he made his way across it, drifting into the practice studio. The last door on the left.

The art studio was dark, but Kageyama was still able to see the painting Hinata had left out to dry. A lonely astronaut.

Behind those were others, the forest fire, the lonely mountain, the butterfly. Kageyama wanted to touch them, feel them, see them. They held _him_ within them, dripping with his carelessness, his freedom, his creativity. Kageyama wished he could be more like him.

Kageyama set down his case, opening it and pulling out his violin and a random bow. Carefully, he began to play. He didn’t even know what he was playing, and he didn’t care. His fingers dug into the strings almost painfully, but it didn’t matter. He just played.

Alone, in the dark, in a big, empty room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We love a tragic backstory in this house ;)
> 
> I have been very excited to post this chapter, it was really fun to write and I hope you all enjoyed this slight change of pace as we see the world through kageyama's eyes
> 
> For anyone wondering, I am basing high school and college on American 4-year high school and college so that’s why there’s a fourth year in Kageyama’s backstory
> 
> Also if anyone has seen Ladybird, that was a bit of an influence in Kageyama’s backstory, specifically the part “What if this is the best version of myself?” Gets me every time :’)
> 
> Also also very very sorry to my Oikawa fans that I made him a bit… awful mean and terrible in this chapter. This is just Kageyama’s side of the story, I don’t hate Oikawa. However i do have a lot of opinions on how he treated Kageyama in middle school and why it was BS contact me @squydneyyy on tumblr for the rant
> 
> ANYWAY next chapter will be up next week, comments and kudos are very much appreciated, and if you want to chat then I'm @squydneyyy on tumblr! Thank you so much for reading!!


	17. Owl Murals and Art Advice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata is on a mission to get some advice to maybe help him finish his project on time.

Hinata was on a mission.

Sneaking around the dorm hallway corner, he quietly mumbled the mission impossible theme under his breath. His eyes scanned the room, looking for his target. It was pretty quiet in the common room that day, most people out and about in classes or doing work in the studios. However, there was one person who was in the room, surrounded by colored pencils and sticking his tongue out in concentration.

“ASAHI!” Hinata yelled.

“Eep!” Was all Asahi responded with, startling so hard Hinata thought his chair was going to tip over. A colored pencil flew out of his hand and onto the floor. Hinata ran over to it and handed it back to Asahi with a smile.

“Hi Asahi, I was wondering if you could help me out with some art stuff!” Hinata bounced eagerly on his toes as Asahi pulled himself together.

“Hi Hinata, um I guess I could try to help you out?” Asahi’s voice was a nice maroon, textured and soft like a sweater. Hinata smiled upon seeing it.

“Great!” Hinata pulled a chair out and sat himself down next to Asahi. “Ok so I’ve been having a lot of trouble with this stupid anatomy stuff and this stupid critique stuff! I’ve been getting some advice, like I got some from Ukai and Yachi and it was really good advice too, but I was also told that I should ask some of my upperclassmen what they think about everything! I mean basically I was told that I just have to get used to critique and it would help me get better so I just had to get over it, and then Yachi said that all the rules and restrictions and rulers for the anatomy project actually helped you be more creative? Which I kind of get ‘cause Kenma said something similar when he was coding for his video game and stuff but I dunno I still don’t really get it? Anyway, what do you think?”

Asahi stared at Hinata with wide eyes, trying to take all the information in.

“Um, well… I uh…” He started. “I don’t really know how much help I can be with all of that.”

“Really? Yachi said you helped her out, I’m sure you can help me too!”

“I can try I guess?” Asahi turned fully towards Hinata. “So, you were having trouble with anatomy and critique?”

“Exactly!”

“Okay… I guess you just need to maybe, like, push yourself forward? Wait no that sounds bad. You need to just, like, explore your options? No no that doesn’t make sense either, I don’t know what I’m trying to say! I’m really bad at this, I had the exact same problems you did and I barely got over them. I shouldn’t be the one giving advice.” Asahi turned away from Hinata, hiding himself.

“You had the same problems?” Hinata asked, a little quieter this time. He leaned forward, almost trying to coax the words from Asahi.

“Um, kind of. I mean, I guess everyone has problems in their first year in school. I actually wasn’t too bad with anatomy, I like how meticulous it is, and you don’t have to branch out that much. Not that it doesn’t require creativity! It’s just more real to life! Honestly I had the most trouble with all the weird abstract painting stuff.”

Asahi turned back to Hinata, finding him completely engaging in what Asahi was saying. His attention almost startled Asahi for a second time. Hinata smiled at him though, encouraging him to continue. Asahi took a deep breath.

“Yeah, so the abstract stuff. I guess you could say that I wasn’t really a very creative student? Which I guess is weird for art school, but I mean I wasn’t creative in the sense of being like… inventive? I was pretty good at still life and portraits with colored pencils but I didn’t do anything interesting ever. I didn’t use any interesting colors or shapes or techniques or anything. The anatomy project was easier for me because of that. But abstract was super difficult.

“I remember our teacher saying we had to put our emotions on the page, or like, a message? And I had no idea how to do that. I didn’t have anything to say? I was just drawing what I saw, I liked doing that. Now I had to create things that didn’t even exist? Make emotions on the canvas? It was really confusing and my teacher got mad at me a lot for always drawing real things and never being ‘inventive’ or things like that. I even considered quitting art school all together.

“Then my teacher called me in for a one-on-one conference thing. I was so scared! I thought I was gonna be expelled! When I got there though, he just wanted to try to work on a piece with me. It was slow going, because I constantly thought everything I was doing was wrong. I had no idea what direction I was going. There wasn’t anything in front of me to draw, nothing to follow along to. I told the teacher I couldn’t do it. I just didn’t have the skill. He didn’t let me quit, though.”

Asahi’s face then morphed into a small smile. He looked fond as he continued.

“I remember, we went through so many pages of ideas. The floor was practically covered in thrown away papers. Every time I thought I was close, he told me to try again, to think even more abstractly, to be crazier with the colors, to get a new angle. It sucked, but as we kept going it was also kind of… fun? I stopped thinking so much about how it was supposed to look, and it being right.”

“But I have the opposite problem!” Hinata suddenly interjected, his patience gone. “I want to be able to go crazy and not plan and all that! But I have to be perfect and rule-following and like you, and I can’t do that!” Hinata fell back, frustrated. He wished he had Asahi’s problems.

“Sorry, sorry, I didn’t mean- I wasn’t- that’s not- sorry!” Asahi stuttered. “I guess I should get to the point faster, I think that will help you more!”

“The point?” Hinata asked.

“Yeah, I think it applies to everything! No matter what you’re having problems with! Um, basically what my teacher said at the end of the whole one-on-one thing, he said ‘You can’t limit yourself. You have to push beyond the boundaries you set yourself, or better yet, stop setting boundaries all together. Never think you can’t do something just because you haven’t before.’

“Hinata, I think you can absolutely do this anatomy project! It may take a floor full of failed attempts, but you can get there, if you don't limit yourself.”

Hinata looked at Asahi with wide eyes, thinking to himself. Had he been limiting his abilities? Well, he knew he had. Like Ukai had called him out on. He was purposefully not putting everything into it because he didn’t want it to be bad. Because he thought he could never be good. Because he refused to move outside his little box.

Hinata always saw himself as brave, attacking the canvas without a single sketch, using bold colors and ideas. But now, he saw the truth.

He was a coward.

The chair fell backwards as Hinata suddenly stood up, startling Asahi for a third time.

“Thanks Asahi!” He shouted.

“Ah, you’re welcome? I hope that helped.”

“I think it did! But there’s still some stuff I’m confused about with this whole anatomy project.”

“I don’t know how much help I could be.”

“Is there anyone else you think could be helpful?” Asahi thought for a moment.

“Oh, um, Daichi would probably love to help. He’s an RA, that’s like, his job. I’m sure he could fill in some gaps.”

“Daichi! Yachi said the same thing! Any idea where he is?”

“He said something about being in the sculpting studio this afternoon? He’s working on a-” Before Asahi could finish, Hinata was already gone, racing out the door to find Daichi. Ukai, Yachi, and Asahi had given him great pieces of advice, but nothing had truly clicked yet, and he still had questions to be answered.

\----------------------------------------------------

Hinata knew where the sculpting studio was. It was a really specific studio, unlike the others on campus. The kiln was in a room next to it, and there was a large outdoor space for larger sculptures. Inside, it had pottery wheels and plenty of materials and tools to work with. Not many first years went in there, unless they were specializing in sculpting and pottery right off the bat. Still, it was on the tour.

The studio had a distinct earthy smell to it, and a small speaker in the corner was playing music that left Hinata’s vision covered in muted greens and full browns. The studio wasn’t very full, a few students working on their own projects. With a quick look around, Hinata spotted Daichi working in a more secluded corner.

“DAICHI!” Hinata yelled upon seeing him. A few students looked up in confusion at the outburst, but Hinata ignored them. Instead he raced across the room, stopping himself with his hands on Daichi’s workstation, leaning forward.

“Ah, Hinata. Please keep your voice down, others are working.” Daichi’s warm brown voice enveloped Hinata, deep and rich. 

“Sorry Daichi! I just need your help!” Hinata said, quieter this time.

“Sure Hinata, pull up a chair,” Daichi said, gesturing to an empty seat. Hinata quickly grabbed it and dragged it over to the table, settling himself into it and staring at Daichi.

“Okay, so basically I need help because, as you probably know, I’ve been having a ton of trouble with the anatomy project stuff! I mean I talked to Ukai and Yachi and Asahi and they all gave me really good advice but I guess I’m just still struggling because nothing looks like how I want it, everything always looks terrible and that could be because I’m not trying but it’s still really discouraging when things look bad, and I also just don’t see the point of the project at all! Like, I get that we should branch out and try new things like Asahi said, but still! I don’t see the point!”

Daichi thought for a moment, easily taking in everything Hinata had said. He had been in charge of Nishinoya and Tanaka before, so the long and energetic rants weren’t new. Lighting up with an idea, Daichi turned and grabbed two chunks of clay, placing one in front of a confused Hinata.

“Alright, let’s try something. Five minutes, we each have to sculpt something. Hinata, pick the animal we should try.” 

“Ummm…” Hinata thought for a moment, before smiling. “Let’s do a crow!”

“Ah, our dorm’s mascot. Nice choice.” Each of them grabbed their block of clay. “Ready, set, go!”

Both artists set off quickly molding their clay. Hinata pulled pieces off, rolling and shaping them into rough ideas of a head, beak, and body. He hadn’t worked with clay, so he knew whatever he made wasn’t going to be perfect. Still, Daichi had some point to this whole thing.

As the minutes passed, Hinata struggled slightly. He was much better in 2D than 3D. It was fun though. The clay felt good and solid in his hands, and he liked the texture of it. He carefully stuck a sloppily made beak onto a misshapen head.

“Time!” Daichi called out.

“What? Already?” Hinata said. “But I barely got anything done!”

“Don’t worry too much Hinata, it was only five minutes,” Daichi said. But Hinata was barely paying attention, his eyes focused on Daichi’s much better bird. If this was a contest, and Hinata wasn’t sure if it wasn’t, then Daichi had clearly won. Anyone could tell!

“How is yours so good?” Hinata whined.

“Well, why don’t you tell me?”

“Um, probably because you sculpt and work in clay a lot. This contest was rigged from the start, of course yours will be better! You’ve been doing this for three years, I’ve never touched clay!” Hinata crossed his arms with a pout as Daichi let out a small chuckle.

“Yes, that’s probably why mine is a bit more… shapely than yours. But this wasn’t a contest. It was more like… a demonstration. See, you’re exactly right. I’ve been working with clay since before I got here. I know how to shape things, add texture, use the right proportions, all of that. But I also don’t usually sculpt birds. Still, I was able to make this bird,” Daichi held up his small statue, “look completely fine. I bet the same thing would happen if we had a painting contest and were tasked to paint a landscape you had never done before. You would beat me completely.

“Now why is that? Why am I able to sculpt a bird despite having not done it in a very long time, and you would be able to paint a landscape you had never tried before?”

“I don’t know! We just can?” Hinata’s brow furrowed, trying to find the words. He could feel an explanation, but he didn’t quite know how to word it. Luckily, Daichi cut in.

“It’s because we’ve practiced. You’ve painted a hundred landscapes. I’ve sculpted a hundred animals. So even when faced with something new, we have skills and lessons to fall back on. Of course, if all I sculpted was birds, I would be even better. But I’m still able to make a pretty good crow right here!” Daichi then leaned forward slightly, meeting Hinata’s eyes.

“And that’s the point of the anatomy project,” he said. “It isn’t so you’re a perfect artist. It isn’t so you can draw only one animal or person perfectly. It’s to give you the skills and the experience to fall back on later. It’s to help you break things down into shapes, use multiple references, understand what you’re drawing. The point is to help you be able to draw or paint or sculpt even better in the future.”

“Oh.” That was all Hinata could say as he processed the information. He always saw the anatomy project as some kind of chore, for him to get better at doing one thing he would never use in the future. But the way Daichi put it, it made a bit more sense. He was learning how to learn, in a way. Giving his artist’s toolbox a new tool.

“Do you understand it a bit better now?” Daichi asked.

“I- I think so? Yeah, it makes more sense when I think about it!” Hinata said. “Thanks Daichi, this was really helpful!”

“No problem, Hinata,” Daichi replied. “Oh, and one more thing?”

“Yeah?”

“Everyone starts badly.” Hinata tilted his head.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, I have made sculptures that look exactly like that bird you made, and they took me hours. No one starts out with amazing skill. Everyone has to work for it. I’m sure you didn’t start off making amazing landscapes like you can now. Sometimes, it can be really hard to remember where you started, and how terrible you were. But just remember, it’s okay to be terrible when learning something new. Being terrible is the first step to being good. Don’t be afraid of it. You can only get better.”

“Thanks, Daichi,” Hinata said softly, a smaller smile than usual on his lips. Daichi gave him a smile back, and Hinata turned, leaving the classroom a little quieter than when he came in.

\----------------------------------------------------

After talking with Daichi, Hinata found himself wandering about aimlessly around campus that afternoon. His head was swimming with all the advice he had gotten over the past few days. How to be okay with critique and how important it is, to remember to branch out and push yourself, to be okay with not being great at first. To actually try.

Hinata hated the rules of the anatomy project. He hated how realistic it had to be, he hated how he felt like he couldn’t be creative. And while those were true, he realized he had been hiding behind them rather than face what he was truly scared of.

He was scared of being bad.

It’s not like Hinata was some amazing artist to begin with. He knew all his pieces had problems, from wonky perspective to terrible proportions and lighting. But his pieces were still able to stand with the other art students. The ones with the fancy training and real art classes.

So when he suddenly couldn’t make anything right out of this anatomy project… he wasn’t able to stand with the others anymore. He didn’t like to think about it, but sometimes he would wonder if he was even supposed to be at the school at all. If he should have made it in, with all his crazy colors and lack of planning. The anatomy project just seemed to cement that idea.

But Hinata also thought about all the advice he had gotten. He thought about Ukai’s words, about not being scared and standing still. He thought about Yachi telling him to be brave, and her mirroring Kenma’s advice of working within the rules. Of Asahi letting him know he had to push himself and not set boundaries for himself. Daichi told him that he was gaining new skills, and to not be discouraged by being bad.

He remembered what his mom said. What kept him going. The words he had given Kageyama too, the ones that helped him

_You are good._

He didn’t have to be perfect. But he had earned his spot. He was good. He was talented. He was strong. He could do this.

Could he?

Hinata had all the puzzle pieces. He desperately wanted to put them all together, for something to click. He knew how, he knew why, but something still wasn’t right. He knew there was still something he needed to get. That spark, that click, that hit of motivation that would push him to finish the project.

Apparently the universe was thinking he needed that as well, because Hinata found his thinking cut off by-

“Hey hey hey! Hinata! My favorite student! Come back to learn more awesome techniques from the coolest artist on campus?” Bokuto’s explosive gold voice was unmistakable, and Hinata smiled as he saw where he was. On his wander, he had ended up at the large mural of cats and owls, one that looked basically finished.

“Hi Bokuto!” Hinata said excitedly. “And now that you mention it, I do need your help.”

“Well I could never say no to my number one disciple! Come, have a seat while I take a break from the best mural on campus!” Bokuto plopped down right in front of the mural, motioning for Hinata to take a seat next to him. Hinata looked at the mural as he walked forward. The colorful shapes had been given more detail, and were amazing. Each owl had intense eyes and textured feathers, and the cats were given the same treatment. There were only a few hairs out of place that Bokuto was working on.

“It looks like the mural is almost done!” Hinata said as he sat down.

“I know! Just a bit more cleanup today and another cleanup with my best bro Kuroo tomorrow, and it should be complete!” Bokuto smiled proudly at the painting behind him.

“That’s so cool!”

“Isn’t it? Now, enough about my awesome skills! What is it that you needed help with?” Hinata took a deep breath, ready to launch into the explanation for the third time that day.

“Okay, so basically I’ve been having a ton of trouble with critique and the anatomy project, but don’t worry about the whole critique thing because I figured all that out with Ukai and Yachi and all that and then I also got really good advice from Yachi and Daichi and Asahi and even Kenma but that was like a while ago but I got good advice from all of them about the anatomy project, and I feel so much better about! I know why and how and I feel a lot more confident in my skills! But even with all that, something still doesn’t feel quite right! It’s like missing a puzzle piece or some information or anything that will make it all click! I’m still fighting with Kageyama, all my paintings and sketches and all that for the project are still terrible, and I don’t know what I’m doing!”

Bokuto stared at him with wide eyes. “Wow, that’s a lot of stuff!”

“I know!”

“Well, I think I have just the solution! It’s like, right now, you understand why you were assigned the anatomy project, but you don’t really know why _you’re_ doing the anatomy project, right? Like, ok, I can draw a bird or a tiger or a person or whatever and in the future I can draw another animal, but why?”

“Yeah, exactly!”

“I know exactly how you feel! I felt the same way during my anatomy project! Nothing really clicked for me, at least not during the process. I just felt like I sucked! Like I forgot how to draw or something! Like I was re-learning everything, and it was the worst! But the important thing was I never gave up! Even when I got depressed in critique, even when I didn’t want to try, I tried as hard as I could to make it perfect! Still, I felt really terrible until the very end of the project.

“Sometimes it can be hard to see progress when you don’t look backwards, you know? But I remember painting my last piece of the project and thinking ‘Hey! This doesn’t look too bad!’ And then I looked at the piece I had made at the beginning. Wow! The change was huge! That was when I realized that Bokuto from the start of the project really wanted to paint what I was holding in my hands! The future painting from future Bokuto! Yeah, the project sucked, and I wanted to give up a lot, and I definitely did a few times, but in the end, I was finally able to paint something that looked _right!_ ”

Bokuto turned and gestured to the wall behind him, full of beautiful owls in a stormy sky.

“I wouldn’t have been able to make something like this if I hadn’t done that project with everything I had. And that’s the point! It’s not just that I became really good at drawing owls, or that I could draw animals more realistically now, or that I was better at using references! The point was that I could draw what I wanted now, and it looked like what I wanted! In my eyes, the point of the project, the point of this whole school, is not just giving you tools or experience or whatever. It’s making sure that whatever you see in your head is something you can put on the paper. Or the wall!”

Hinata looked up at Bokuto with shining eyes. “Wow Bokuto! That was really good!”

“Really?! Hey hey hey! I could be a teacher yet! I’m the best mentor ever!” Bokuto hooted loudly, throwing his fist in the air with excitement. Next to him, Hinata was practically vibrating.

“I think I get it now! Like, I understood the point but I didn’t really get the _point!_ It’s not about forcing me to paint something, it’s about helping me paint something! Like Daichi said with the tools! Like Kenma and Yachi said about the rules! Like Asahi said about pushing yourself! It’s still about me, and about my art! How could I forget that? It isn’t just rules and perfection, it’s about creativity still, it’s about my visions! What I want to make! I have to do it myself!”

Hinata leapt to his feet. He felt lighter, lighter than he ever had. Every piece of advice, every mistake and success, led him here. There were plenty of people behind him, who wanted to help. However, when it came down to it, he had to get there himself. Strangely, despite that being a realization that may make someone feel heavier, Hinata felt like he had wings.

Like that painting he saw, like the boy with wings reaching towards the air.

Hinata knew what he had to do. Starting with convincing a professor to give him a chance on something a bit crazy.

Like changing the entire focus of his anatomy project right before it was due.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me writing this chapter: Kageyama?? Who is he?? What’s a violin??
> 
> Fun fact in my breakdown the notes for this chapter were “Maybe we find some solutions” I based over 4,000 words on that sentence
> 
> Also this chapter was really fun to write because my characters discovered the answers along with me! I knew Hinata had all the pieces of advice he needed, yet it still wasn’t the push he needed. That is, until I went back to an older thing I wrote for Bokuto and reworked it into the chapter. Suddenly, I remembered that Hinata still needed to make it about himself, his vision, and his own art. That’s his whole thing! I love when that happens!
> 
> Anywayyyy thank you so much for reading, for the kudos, and for any and all comments!! They give me life! If you wanna chat, hit me up @squydneyyy on tumblr, and as always the next chapter will be up next week!!


	18. Kageyama - Upperclassmen and Empty Theaters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama goes on his own journey of questions as he gets advice about life and music from some familiar faces.

Kageyama felt his hands shake slightly as he approached the unfamiliar studio. He knew he was welcome, but that didn’t stop him from feeling butterflies in his chest as he peeked into the room.

He sighed in relief at seeing only one person there. A man playing a piece of music Kageyama wasn’t familiar with. He seemed lost in it, and Kageyama could feel it too, the notes washing over the both of them. It was like time had frozen, for just a moment.

Kageyama was pushed back into reality as the man put his bow down at his side, gently. The song was over, which meant Kageyama was up. He squared his shoulders and cleared his throat.

“Um… Akaashi?”

The man turned around, revealing Akaashi’s neutral expression, which softened at seeing Kageyama.

“Ah, Kageyama. It’s very nice to see you again.”

“You as well. Um, remember when you said that if I needed any help, I could come to you?” Akaashi must have heard the slight shake in his voice and seen his wringing hands, because he set down his instrument and fully faced Kageyama.

“Of course. What do you need?”

“I just… something happened. With… that’s not important. What’s important is that I have no idea what I’m doing with the composition project. Nothing sounds right, nothing I do fixes it, I just don’t know what to do.”

Akaashi thought for a moment, then went to the side of the room and pulled two chairs over. “Sit down, Kageyama. Let’s talk.”

Kageyama walked over to the chairs and sat down, immediately falling in on himself. Even with Takeda’s advice, he still felt stuck and frustrated. The words Hinata had said echoed in his mind. _Robot, king._ And he was right. Kageyama may have called Hinata a coward, but the real coward was himself. Now, he had to fix it. With no idea how to do that.

“You know, Kageyama, I see much of myself in you.” Kageyama looked up, taken from his thoughts by Akaashi’s sudden interjection. “Though I was not a prodigy or a genius, I started violin very early,” Akaashi continued. “My mother thought I should be well rounded. I suspect she also wanted to entertain her party guests and brag about her son, but that’s a story for another day. Anyhow, from a young age to play music in a very particular way. I was to listen, and never to stray. To play every note perfectly. To be precise and exact. That’s just the way it was for me.

“When I was older, despite the other subjects I could have tried, I found myself enjoying the violin enough to pursue it at a high level. Eventually, that led to music school, and to being in many ways an ideal student. I never talked back, I sat perfectly in my chair, and I played each piece exactly as it should be played. Of course, as you may now know, in a school like this that is not enough.

“I first found struggle in the accompaniment project, similar to yourself. It was...frustrating to line up with someone else’s more erratic playing. I found it strange how different a piece could sound depending on the player. I always thought there was one right way to hit the notes, but I was obviously mistaken. I was able to make it through by the skin of my teeth, in the end. Not so much for the next project.”

Akaashi took a pause, letting out a small sigh and looking away. He seemed to be thinking of the next right thing to say. It was already obvious that both Akaashi and Kageyama had been in the same place. Had struggled with the same projects. Kageyama wondered how he did it. How he was able to persevere. Suddenly, Akaashi turned back to Kageyama, leaning forward slightly as he spoke again.

“You’ve probably heard the advice that it’s okay to be bad, right? That it’s okay to fail, to not be perfect. And I’m not saying that advice is bad. A lovely teacher of mine gave me that advice when I was in my first year. She told me about how much she struggled to be good enough for so long. Her story truly did help me, in some ways. But there is still something missing. Not to sound pretentious, but for people like _us_ , it is not so simple.

“As a child, I was constantly afraid to get the notes wrong. To embarrass my mother. To be bad. My mother always comforted me if I did something wrong, telling me it’s okay and that I’m talented. Still, I could never convince myself of those things. I was convinced I had to be perfect. I was already ahead of my peers, and I could not let myself stop.”

Akaashi looked at Kageyama with knowing eyes. “I suspect you were the same way?”

“I-” Kageyama broke eye contact for a moment. He didn’t know why he suddenly felt ashamed. “I guess so. I was in the fourth year classes as a second year. I was called a ‘genius’ student. I hated to mess up. I just didn’t want anyone to doubt me. To see me as weak, or not good enough.”

Akaashi smiled. “I understand. Which is why I struggled hearing the advice that failure was okay. My entire life, this was not true. Why would it suddenly be true now? Plus, I had never failed. I had never done anything wrong. There was this… expectation. This pressure to be perfect.”

“Exactly,” Kageyama said, a smile starting to form as someone finally recognized his struggle, someone finally had been through the same thing, the same pressure-

“This is a lie.” Akaashi looked Kageyama right in the eyes as he said that, and Kageyama felt his smile falter as his thoughts came to a halt. A lie? But he… he thought Akaashi understood.

“It’s… what?” He found himself choking out.

“It’s a lie. The pressure you feel is pressure you have given yourself. It is not real. You can remove it at any time. The teachers have no expectations for you for this project, and as for peers, the ones who expect something are the ones who have no understanding of the project, nor who you are. Kageyama, no one who really matters has any expectations for the piece you will compose. They simply want you to be yourself.” Kageyama felt something boiling in him at Akaashi’s words. 

“But I can’t just let go of the pressure!” He said, almost shouting. “I have to push myself, how am I supposed to do that with no goal? With no force? It’s not like it’s easy to suddenly change!”

“I never said it was easy,” Akaashi placated. “Just like accepting failure isn’t easy either. However understanding this problem is vital for people like us to improve ourselves beyond precise playing. It’s not that pressure isn’t bad. But it weighs you down. Sure, it helps you perfect that complicated piece you’ve been working on all night so you can get it just right for the concert. But that weight also can keep you from looking up and seeing the possibilities. You are tying yourself to the ground, when there is so much to find by flying into the sky.”

It was quiet for a moment as Kageyama mulled over Akaashi’s words. He had always put this pressure on himself to be the best. He had been from a young age, he couldn’t let himself falter. He had to be perfect, no matter what the task. And though Takeda told him it was okay to fail, to be terrible, he still couldn’t find it within himself to make it happen. To, as Akaashi put it, fly. Because, what if he…

“But what if I fall?” Kaegayama said in a small voice.

“Then we will catch you,” Akaashi replied evenly. “As many times as it takes.” He smiled softly as he said that last part, his eyes looking past Kageyama as if remembering something.

“Did someone tell you that?” Kageyama asked.

“Yes, someone did. Someone very stubborn and loud who refused to take no for an answer, who pushed me into the studio to work when I was afraid, and who listened to every single composition I ever wrote. He still does.” Akaashi looked back at Kageyama. “I don’t think I can be that for you. The least I can do, though, is share my story and my advice. And if you can, find that person who will push you.”

Kageyama looked away, his breath hitching. “I think I already screwed up with him. I pushed him away, and he pushed back. And… yeah.”

“Well, if he pushed you here, then I think, despite it all, he’s doing a pretty good job helping you along.” Akaashi smiled at Kageyama, who gave him the smallest of smiles back.

“I guess so. I- Thanks. Akaashi.” Kageyama stood up.

“If you still need help, there are plenty of people all around who have been through this. You just need to ask.” Kageyama thought about the other musicians in his dorm. Particularly the ones who were older, like Suga and Kiyoko.

“That’s a good idea. Thank you again, Akaashi.”

“Anytime, Kageyama. I’m happy to help.”

As Kageyama left, he heard Akaashi’s violin start up again, playing a soft song that echoed in the hall. Kageyama pushed forward, needing more answers. Next stop was Karasuno dorms. He just prayed that a certain redhead would stay away.

\----------------------------------------------------

Kageyama was nervous as he approached the door to Kiyoko and Yachi’s dorm. He knew Kiyoko was in there, delicate notes from a harp floating into the hallway. Still, he wasn’t really friends with Kiyoko or Yachi. He had barely talked to them.

Taking a deep breath, he knocked on the door.

“Hello- oh! hi Kageyama!” Yachi was the one to answer the door, looking cheerfully nervous. “What’s up? Do you need anything?”

“Hi Yachi, I was hoping to talk to Kiyoko actually.”

“Oh! Oh my goodness of course I’ll just go work in the kitchen area!” Yachi turned around and grabbed her tablet and drawing pencil, rushing out past Kageyama with a wave. Then she was gone down the hall, leaving Kageyama alone with Kiyoko. He gulped and stepped through the doorway.

“Hello Kageyama, what did you want to talk to me about?” Kiyoko sat on her bed with perfect posture, a smaller harp resting in front of her. It was different from the massive harp that he’d seen in the larger orchestra classes.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to bother you,” Kageyama immediately said.

“No, no, it’s no bother at all! Honestly, I should be practicing on the pedal harp instead of this one. You aren’t interrupting anything important. Here, sit down.” Kiyoko gestured to one of the desk chairs, which Kageyama tentatively sat on.

“I, well, I’m here to ask you for some help, or advice I guess?” Kageyama looked up as he spoke, twiddling his fingers. Though Kiyoko’s stance and beauty could often be seen as intimidating, her eyes were kind and her smile encouraged him to keep going. “See, there’s this composition project, I’m sure you did it when you were a first-year here, but I just can’t seem to get it right! I don’t know what to do my piece on and every time I try anything I fail and I just don’t know what to do.

“I know that it’s okay if I fail, that this is a no pressure project and I have people to help me, but I still just don’t get the project! I haven’t been able to write anything worthwhile and I stopped trying a while ago, I only play in classes now, I just feel like I’ve… lost something? I dunno.” Kageyama sagged in the chair. It felt like a hole in his chest was eating away at him.

“I’m sorry, that sounds very difficult,” Kiyoko said. The soft lilt in her voice made it feel genuine. “I don’t know how much I can help, but why don’t we step away from the project for a moment?” She suggested. “Rather than focus on that, let’s focus more on you. Kageyama, why do you play music? What led you here, to this school, to this profession?”

“My um… my grandfather, he got me into it when I was a kid. I really loved it, and I guess I just never stopped.” Kageyama twiddled his thumbs, eyes looking down at his lap.

“That makes sense. Started young, runs in the family. I have a very different story, but somehow I think we’ve ended up with a similar issue. A sort of… roadblock, if you will. But I digress. Let me start from the beginning.

“I was never a gifted child. I didn’t have any special talents in any sports or arts or school subject. I simply went through life, getting good grades and sitting quietly. Music wasn’t something I was expecting to be a part of my life, much less my entire life. I sort of fell into it, by accident. I know, it seems difficult to suddenly be a harp player, but it just… happened. 

“At the beginning of high school, my friend was very interested in folk music. She was a guitar player, and I suppose she just liked that style and wanted to try it for herself. She and a few other girls had started up a small band, and she invited me to join. I wasn’t doing any other activity, so I agreed to try it out. She decided I should play harp. Honestly, it wasn’t too bad a choice. It’s one of the easier instruments to learn. Even so, I fumbled a lot at first and wasn’t very good.” Kiyoko gave a fond smile, as if she could picture her fingers stumbling over the strings. “I don’t even know why I kept up with it. I thought about quitting a lot. But I never did.

“At first, it was my obligation. I told them I would be there, that I would learn. However, the more time I spent there, the more I enjoyed it. All around me were talented and passionate artists. They lit a flame in me to push myself as well. To contribute as best I could. I began taking real lessons, working harder, and I loved it. I loved being with others, I loved making music. It was… fun.

“However, one day, rehearsal was going poorly. Things just weren’t clicking between my brain and my hands. My timing was off, everything sounding jolted. I desperately wanted to play properly, but nothing sounded right or felt right and I was eaten up by frustration. I knew my hands could play it, but all my ears could hear were my mistakes. I was hit with the thoughts of, ‘why am I here? Am I good enough? Am I talented enough?’ I was full of self doubt.

“That day my friend who invited me came up to me during a break we had. I remember she said, ‘I never said this, but thank you for being here! You picked up the harp so quickly and could’ve quit, but you never did! We all really appreciate it, and personally I’m really glad you’ve been sticking with it, because you’re really talented!’ Then she trotted back to her guitar, leaving me with wide eyes.

“It was simple, but that moment helped remind me why I was there. I was there to help my friend, who had asked me to join, who I had committed myself to. So I took a breath, and I played again, no matter how horrible I sounded. I had to get over it.

“And I did.” Kiyoko smiled at Kageyama. “I pushed forward through the hardship, and I found that passion again, hiding within me. Brought out by my friend and all the people in the tiny band who came in every day and played to the best of their abilities. 

“This project is a roadblock. It’s stopping you. You feel frustrated, like nothing is coming together or sounding right. It isn’t easy to continue. You find yourself asking why you tried. Why you’re even here at all. But you mustn’t fall into that way of thinking. In the difficult moments, you must remember the joy. Remember your passion. Remember that you are here for a reason, that in the past you had a fire in you and even if it’s flickered to a candle, it is still burning.

“This feeling of frustration is temporary. Even if it’s just a deadline that motivates you in this moment, keep moving. Find that passion again, in an old song, in a new project, in the people around you. I apologize that I cannot help you with this specific project, give you any advice or ideas in that regard, but I can tell you that this will pass. You will find that spark again.”

A flash of red hair flooded Kageyama’s vision. “And what if I… I don’t? What if I messed up, and it’s gone?”

“Then you can find it somewhere new, or even somewhere old. Passion isn’t fueled by one thing, or one person. If you’re here, at this school, asking me and other people how to solve this problem with the project, you’re clearly still passionate. No one can snuff out that flame.”

_Find it somewhere new, or even somewhere old._ Hinata had become his motivator, his reason for playing. He loved to see the colorful streaks of paint creating something original and beautiful out of Kageyama’s robotic performances. He didn’t know his music could ever be so lovely. Hinata had given him a new reason to play.

But Akaashi had said he would be there to catch him if he fell, and Takeda had given him permission to be horrible with a bright smile, and Suga always asked him to play the compositions he wrote, and he loved the feeling of finishing a piece in front of a crowd, the sweat on his brow, the applause from the audience, the moments before where he can feel the air in the room settle and it’s his to command, his grandfather’s uneven claps in echoing in the hall.

He couldn’t give up. He wouldn’t give up. He had shed the fear, the pressure, the expectation, and now he had to shed his frustrations and excuses and push through it. For himself.

“I have to push through. I can do it. I can come out the other side better than before,” Kageyama murmured under his breath.

“Exactly,” Kiyoko said softly. “Growth is not always linear. When I started learning the pedal harp, I thought I had lost all my skill. But eventually, I got there again, and only continued to improve. Like learning the pedal harp, or my bad day at rehearsal, this is a small setback. I know you’ll evolve explosively from here.”

“You think so?” Kageyama asked.

“I know it. And while I am not much of a composer myself, I also know that Sugawara would be happy to help you further get over this block. He is much better at explaining the… purposes of music than I am.”

“I- yeah. I was thinking of talking to him next. Thank you, Kiyoko.”

“Of course. My door is always open. I hope we can continue to get to know each other better.” Kiyoko picked the harp back up, giving Kageyama a gentle smile. He nodded to her and walked towards the door, hearing the harp start up once again behind him.

\----------------------------------------------------

Kageyama didn’t get a chance to talk to Suga until later, the afternoon creeping into the evening. After talking with Kiyoko, he’d avoided the dorms all day, hoping he wouldn’t run into Hinata. Sadly, he eventually had to face the dorms to talk to Suga.

He pushed open the doors to the dorm, making a point not to look anywhere but straight ahead. Luckily, he didn’t happen upon Hinata. He made his way to the common area, where he found Suga in his usual spot on one of the couches, typing something on his computer. Daichi sat next to him, sketching something in a notebook. A few other people were scattered around the room as well. _So much for privacy,_ Kageyama thought. Nevertheless, Kageyama was on a mission. He steeled his nerves and approached Suga.

“Hey Suga, I was wondering if I could talk to you?” Both Suga and Daichi looked up at him.

“Sure Kageyama, what’s up?” Suga replied.

“Um… could we talk somewhere more private?” Kageyama asked. Suga closed his computer and stood up, stretching his arms above his head.

“No problem! Come with me. I have the perfect place to talk.” Suga gave Kageyama a mysterious smirk and waltzed out of the room. Kageyama blinked for a moment before following him.

Out in the cold, the two walked across campus to a building Kageyama had only been in once. “Are we going in there?” He asked, confused. Suga only smiled.

“Maybe,” he answered with a flourish. 

“But how- how did you- are we- what?”

“Come on, this way,” Suga said, dragging Kageyama around the side of the massive building.

“Are we breaking in?”

“Shhhh.” Suga put his finger to his lips before pulling out a ring of keys from his pocket and jingling them. “I’m really not supposed to do this but… not like anyone’s in there to care!” Suga walked up to a plain door on the side of the building and stuck a key in, jiggling it in the lock until it opened.

He pushed the heavy door aside, leading Kageyama into a dark hallway full of chairs, music stands, and other equipment. Suga turned on the flashlight on his phone, the door shutting behind the two. If not for the flashlight, it would have been pitch black.

“Are there any lights?” Kageyama asked quietly. Even if no one was there, it still felt like he had to whisper.

“Yes,” Suga whispered back, “but it’s much more fun in the dark, don’t you think?”

Kageyama didn’t answer, content to just follow Suga through the maze of hallways, eyeing the items hidden in the back. There were big boxes of metal poles, stacks of platforms, and at one point, a large worn couch. But Suga didn’t stop them there, instead bringing him to another set of doors.

“Okay, go on in through here!” Suga said, turning off his flashlight. “I’m gonna lead you.” Kageyama followed his instructions and let himself be placed somewhere in the dark room they had just entered. It felt big. “Now just stay there, I’ll be right back!” Suga’s hand left Kageyama’s arm, and then he was alone.

He heard Suga’s footsteps walk away from him, thumping along the ground before stopping somewhere. He heard him mutter and then a few clicks and-

“Wow.” Kageyama blinked, adjusting to the lights. He looked forward to the rows and rows of red seats, and the large chandelier hanging from the ceiling over them. Around him were raised curtains, the wings of the stage far above him. He looked up to see a mess of bars and ropes hanging in the air. 

Kageyama was center stage in the largest theater on campus.

“It’s amazing, isn’t it? You don’t get to perform here until the end of first semester, so consider this a sneak peek.” Suga walked back to center stage, looking around. “I love it here. I’ve seen it a million times and never get tired of it.”

“Yeah, it’s… cool.”

“Cool? That’s your word of choice!” Though it was teasing, Kageyama saw the sparkle in Suga’s eye. “I mean, I guess it is cool. Just not what I would’ve picked.”

“How did you get those keys? Are we even allowed in here?”

“Ah, well, I’m friends with the theater manager. Bit of an eccentric, he is, but fun to talk to. He’s not supposed to give people keys, especially not students, so I guess technically we’re not allowed in here, but no one’s gonna know. As long as we keep our hands to ourselves, don’t mess anything up, turn off the lights, and lock the doors, it’ll be all good!”

“Alright,” Kageyama said, though he was still a bit worried. He didn’t want to get in trouble with the school. But Suga seemed calm enough, so he took a breath. Suga began to walk downstage towards the audience, and Kageyama followed close behind.

“My favorite time to come here is the middle of the night,” Suga mused, reaching the edge of the stage. “When no one’s awake. It’s all silent. I’ll come in, and I’ll sneak up to the lighting booth and mess around a bit until I get the lights just right. They’ll hit center stage, bright and beautiful.

“Then I’ll run back down to the stage and grab my violin and pretend a huge audience is out there, all of them here just to see me. I’ll bow.” Suga demonstrated with a sweeping bow to the empty seats. “And then I’ll grab my bow with a dramatic flourish.” Suga mimed a bow in his hand. “And then I’ll play to all the rich and fancy people, I’ll blow them all away with my splendid playing, I’ll play an original piece that becomes an instant classic! They’re enthralled, at the edge of their seats as the notes float and hang in the air like crystals on a chandelier. In the end, I’ll finish with a sweep of my bow!” Suga thrust his hand in the air, eyes closed. A smile graced his face, like he could hear it. Like he was there.

“The audience will barely know what to do with themselves, after that. You’ll be able to hear a pin drop before the applause begins, thunderous and loud. If this wasn’t such a fancy event, they’d be on their feet! They can barely contain their excitement! A rose will land at my feet, like it does in all the cartoons and movies, and I’ll pick it up and smell it.” Suga brought the invisible rose to his nose, taking a deep breath. He sighed, like the delicate floral scent was real.

“As I leave with my violin and my single rose, they’ll be tempted to call for an encore. But they won’t, because next up is a famous pianist and this audience is far too polite. However, I still feel every eye on me as I waltz off the stage, the collective breath of the audience as they comprehend what they heard. What they felt. A moment frozen in time.”

Suga opened his eyes, gazing upon the empty seats. Kageyama stood with bated breath, watching. Waiting. Suga sighed, and he seemed to droop slightly. Another smile graced his lips, but this one was far more in touch with reality. 

“But eventually, every moment is unfrozen, and time moves on forward. The pianist comes on stage. I go to the wings. The seats are empty. It’s midnight. And it’s just me, alone in a great big theater.” Suga carefully lowered himself down to the floor of the stage, throwing his legs over the edge. His heels lightly kicked the front of it. The first seats were only a few feet away, empty and cold and clean.

“Well, I’m here with you,” Kageyama ventured, seating himself next to Suga.

“Yes, I suppose you are!” Suga said with a laugh. “And I don’t have my violin, and it’s six thirty in the evening, and we’re here to talk about you.” Suga turned to Kageyama, a more real smile on his face. “So, the composition project, bane of every first year? What’s up?”

“I guess… I just hate this project. I can’t do it, I can’t do anything right, and I’m so frustrated because I want to! I’ve talked with Takeda and Akaashi and Kiyoko, and their advice helped! I know it doesn’t have to be perfect, I know there’s no pressure, that this is just a minor setback, that I have to push through it, but no one is telling me how! I just… I don’t get it!” Kageyama felt like he had given this speech a thousand times. No matter who gave him advice, something just wouldn’t click.

“Ah, the composition project! I remember that. Now from what I’m hearing, all the advice you’ve been given is helpful, but also pretty general. It’s okay to fail, push through it, don’t pressure yourself, that could apply anywhere. Not that it doesn’t apply here, of course, or that they weren’t more specific! You should absolutely listen to your elders, me especially. But I think what you need is to hear about music. So let’s start with the big issue: why are you doing this project?”

Kageyama blinked. “Uh… I guess to learn about composing? An introduction to it?”

“Yes yes, that’s true,” Suga said, waving his hand dismissively, “I guess I should phrase differently. Why do we compose music? Why do we create music?”

“To… I think… it’s… it’s like to say something.

Suga brightened “Exactly! The purpose of this project isn’t to make a perfect composition, like you said. It’s an introduction to composition, sure, to show you how to apply that theory knowledge, to understand the basics. But it goes beyond that. This project Is truly about that essential question: how do I convey emotions through music? How can I tell a story through music? How can I say something, something anyone who can hear it can understand?”

Suga looked out to the huge hall of empty seats. “Do you remember those times when you heard a song or a piece, and it just filled you up inside? It lifted your whole body into the air one moment, somehow it threw underground the next? Music moves us, pushes us, makes us laugh and cry and yell and dance and breathe. It’s… it’s _music._

“Yes, it takes practice and skill and repetition. Honestly Kageyama, you have all that. You’re good enough to play in any orchestra you want. You have everything you need.” Suga then turned to Kageyama. There was… something in his eyes. Something soft, yet piercing. A desire for reality, or truth. A bit of desperation. He was pulling Kageyama in with it.

“Kageyama, you have everything you need,” Suga said, barely a whisper. “But do you have what you want?”

The question was lightning. It hit him dead on, shocking straight through his heart. He had said he wanted answers. He wanted to do the project. But that wasn’t really it. Sure, in the short run, those things were important. They helped his grade, his credibility at school. Suga didn’t ask him about the project though. He spoke of orchestras and skills and the future. It was a question not of wanting to finish a project, but of what he wanted out of music itself.

What did he want?

“I want to play music.” Kageyama didn’t even register that he was speaking until he heard his own voice. “I want to play music that’s important and impactful and I want it to mean something. I want to show people myself.”

“Then do that!” Suga said emphatically.

“But I don’t know how!” Kageyama could feel something bubbling, bursting inside of him. Suga must’ve felt something too, because he leapt to his feet.

“Music is freedom!” He shouted to the empty hall. “It’s expressive, enticing, intricate, and intimate. It isn’t all memorization and perfection! You need to let yourself go, express how you feel. Who cares how?”

“I’m not very good at expressing how I feel!” Kageyama shouted back. He loved how his voice echoed, calling back to him, his frustrations reverberating back to him. Suga laughed.

Well, that’s what the music is for! It says what words can’t!” Suga looked down at him, bringing his voice down. “It comes from your heart.”

Kageyama laid his back against the stage, looking up to the ceiling. The curtains rose above him, high and daunting.

“My grandfather used to say I had a big heart.”

“Your grandfather?”

“He passed away. When I was in high school.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. I’m sorry, I don’t know why I said that.”

“No no, it’s fine. Your grandfather was right though. You do have a big heart.” Suga sat back down, laying next to Kageyama.

“Did you want to talk about-”

“No. No, it’s fine. Let’s just talk about the project again.”

The two sat in silence for a moment.

“When I was doing this project, I didn’t know what to do at first either. An important person, event, or something you’re passionate about? Something you have strong emotions attached to? There were so many options! I played volleyball when I was young and loved that, I love my parents and friends, I loved baking. All my options were things that were positive and easy and that I understood. Yet I just couldn’t choose them. Something else was pressing in my mind, wanting to be heard.

“Right before I went to school, my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer.” Kageyama felt his breathing hitch for a moment. Suga was just talking about the project, he wasn’t expecting… that.

“I’m sorry, that must’ve been difficult.”

“That’s just the thing. People would say that to me, but I never really got it. Maybe it hadn’t hit me yet? When it happened, I hugged my mom but it wasn’t that I felt sad, really. They caught it early enough that she would almost certainly live, though she would have to go through surgeries and lose her hair and it would be a while until she was okay again. My parents had already known for a little bit, too. At the time, it was hard to describe my feelings about it. I know you would expect me to be sad, or concerned, and I guess I was, but mostly I felt detached. Like my brain wasn’t quite sure which emotion was the right one.

“Now, why would I choose that for the project? I barely knew what I was feeling, why would that event be good for my first ever composition? I don’t even know, honestly! I guess it was just a big-ish event, it felt like I should.

“I am forever grateful I made that choice, through every single frustrating day I had trying to write that piece, because it forced me to confront how I actually felt. I lost myself in the emotions of the music, where detachment and a slight sadness and concern turned into guilt. I realized I felt guilty for not being sad enough, for being happy at the gifts all those people delivered to our family, for going to college, for being scared to check up on her. I felt guilty for not feeling the correct way. But what is the correct way to feel? In the end, I realized there isn’t one. All you can do is just… let it happen.

“The composition itself wasn’t great. It was really messy and I honestly don’t know how well it conveyed my feelings. But playing it, discovering it, putting myself out on the page and into the air, it felt good. I don’t think I’ve ever played anything that felt so good. Because it was me.

“That was when I fell in love with composing. My mother is completely fine, by the way. All her surgeries went perfectly, and she’s rocking her short haired look. But even with it all wrapped up in a nice little bow now, I still play that composition sometimes. It’s the most important thing I’ve ever written.”

Kageyama’s eyes had blurred over as he stared at the ceiling. He could feel his heartbeat, slow and steady. His breathing. The feeling of the stage on his back through his shirt. His legs dangling off the edge.

_What do you want?_

“I don’t think I want to write about Hinata anymore.” Kageyama could feel Suga fix his gaze on him, but he didn’t move his head. “I don’t… He’s too… I need him to… It’s too... it’s complicated.”

“That’s okay. You two need more time, I think. Something different. I remember I started trying to write about my friend before I changed it a week into the story that was poking at my brain. So, what do you want to write about?”

“I don’t know.” He did.

“Before I told you about my mom, you mentioned your grandfather? He sounded really important to you. What about him?”

“That’s... that’s complicated too, I guess.”

“Is it complicated? Or is it scary?”

Kageyama didn’t answer. They both knew the truth.

“Kageyama, there isn’t one right way to feel about it. But maybe exploring it through music can help you.”

“I barely know where I would begin,” Kageyama whispered.

“That’s okay. Artists of all kinds will tell you that sometimes you come into a project knowing exactly what you’re doing. But other times, the piece is hidden. Hidden behind a camera lens, a blank page, an empty canvas. It almost creates itself. It’s a journey. You may not know the end, but the music can help you get there. It can help you understand. It can help you heal.”

Kageyama knew that his grandfather’s death was like an open wound. It hurt him, held him back, tracked behind him. Yet he ignored it, refusing to look in the mirror and accept that it _hurts, it hurts so bad._

He remembered how his grandfather used to play him little pieces he wrote. He made one called Tobio, and one called Miwa. He made one about family, one that Tobio loved. They weren’t award winning compositions, but he loved how his grandfather wrote things that were new, that were personal. He loved the face his grandfather made when he played pieces that he called memories.

Kageyama hadn’t touched one of his grandfather’s compositions in years. He was completely sure he could play them by heart. He never had.

Maybe it was time.

Kageyama sat up, looking back out to the empty theater.

“I think that I’d like to try.”

Suga sat up too, the both of them looking forward. If they squinted, the seats didn’t look so empty.

“I’m glad. And I’ll be here to help, every step of the way.”

They sat together for one more moment before Suga stood up. Kageyama followed him, a little shaky on his legs. Suga led him to the first wing, where he pressed a few buttons to turn off the lights. The pitch black of the theater returned, but it didn’t feel so daunting.

As the two left, Kageyama felt something new in his stride. He was terrified of his new idea, something so raw. He had always been terrified of mistakes, of embarrassment, of showing his soul to the world. But now, despite the fear, he held his head high.

He was going to make his grandfather proud.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Advice chapter PART 2: Electric Boogaloo (that was the working title)
> 
> And I am very sorry if this is a bit late! Truly this chapter REFUSED to be written, it took forever but I hope in the end it was good! And so long wtf so many words
> 
> Also my harp research made harp look like it wasn’t a word anymore and I still got some harp stuff wrong I’m sure, so sorry to my super cool harpists out there y’all are amazing
> 
> Also Also, Suga’s Dramatic Backstory™ was based on my own life! My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer a WHILE back (she’s completely fine and healthy dw) and it was difficult to know how to feel, or if there was a right way to feel. I was in emotional limbo a lot. I thought it was a good thing to explore through art, having those complex feelings and actually putting them somewhere, whether it be painting, writing or music. So the Suga backstory was born!
> 
> ANYWAY I hope that this chapter and the one before it gave some genuine advice! If my dumbass fanfic rambles are helpful for you, then that’s awesome!
> 
> As always, new chapter up within the week, comments and kudos are so so so much appreciated they make me cry tears of joy, and if you wanna chat message me @squydneyyy on tumblr!!


	19. Crow Paintings and Missing Pieces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata has been working his butt off on his new project, but something still doesn't feel quite right.

Hinata was _busy._

Sure, he had been busy before. Art school wasn’t exactly easy. But that was nothing compared to the week he was having. He felt like he was holding his breath for days on end. His hand was cramped and his shoulder was sore. He was either in class or in the studio, and his hands were stained with paints, charcoal, and graphite. He was working long nights and early mornings, just trying to meet the deadline.

That’s what he gets for changing his entire project, he supposed.

It was surprisingly not too difficult for Hinata to convince his painting teacher to let him change his project. It was almost like she was waiting for something to happen. She even pulled a few of the requirements for him so he could get it done, gave him a few extra days, and let him skip a critique to work instead. 

It was strange how much Hinata wished he could’ve been at that critique. Maybe it was because he finally had work he wanted to improve upon.

Everyone at the dorm had noticed his flurry of work. Nishinoya commented on how late he got back to their dorm room. Suga constantly checked up on him to make sure he was eating and getting enough sleep. Daichi would come in to give him advice, Yamaguchi would walk with him to the studio and work with him for a few hours, and Yachi would help him organize all the different work he was doing. It was nice, having that community to help him.

There was still one person missing though. But Hinata couldn’t afford to get distracted. Not when he was so close to the end of his project. He had to keep working.

Three days before the project was due, Suga walked into the studio with some food saved for Hinata. He had been doing that for the past few days, trying to help his underclassman in any way he could. However, Hinata didn’t even look up from his sketchbook, frantically scribbling and flipping pages around, looking up at reference pictures clipped to his work space.

“Hinata?” Suga asked gently. “I brought you dinner.” Hinata didn’t respond, engrossed in his work. Suga tried again, nudging his shoulder.

“Whatwhowhen?” Hinata blurted out, startling away from his paper. He then froze, his face scrunching up. “Owwwwwwwwwwww,” he groaned, “my back huuuuuurts.”

“That’s what you get for leaning over your sketchbook like that for so long,” Suga chided.

“Suga!” Hinata finally turned to Suga, noticing him for the first time. “Oo! Did you bring me food? Thank you thank you I was getting really hungry!” Hinata grabbed the from Suga, quickly pulling out the sandwich, scarfing it down, and promptly choking on it. Suga just rolled his eyes.

“Take a minute to eat your food _slowly_ Hinata. You know, by chewing it?”

“I schoory, I jous hongy,” Hinata said through his sandwich.

“I know, you’ve been working nonstop and I didn’t see you come in for lunch. Yachi told me you’ve been doing thumbnails all day and sketching like crazy. And then I came in here and you barely noticed me! What’s up?”

Hinata swallowed his badly chewed sandwich. “Nothing’s up! I’ve just gotten a little stuck, that’s all, but I’m sure I’ll figure it out eventually!”

“What are you stuck on?” Suga said curiously, pulling up a chair from an abandoned work station.

“Oh, well, I’ve finally finished all the other stuff! The first piece, the sketches, the studies, all of it! And now I have to make my final piece, the best one! The one that proves all my hard work! And I just can’t figure out what to do! I’ve been sketching ideas all day, but none are quite right. I used to paint purely on emotions, but now I can’t figure out what emotion to paint.” Hinata’s nose wrinkled as he looked down at the pages of half done sketches in his lap. He swiped another bite of sandwich and chewed harshly.

“Hm, I’m not really an artsy person, but maybe I can try to help? I think with things like this, so close to the end, it can be helpful to go back to the beginning, you know?”

“Like the first piece I did for this project?”

“Not quite. More like…” Suga looked over all the pieces in Hinata’s area. His eyes swept over the dark feathers, the dangerous eyes, the elegant flights. “Why crows?”

Hinata took a moment, looking over his artwork just the same. After his talks with all the other artists, he finally knew that rather than do a study on a person, the piece he should’ve been doing was a crow. Crows, for Karasuno dorms. Crows like the wings of the man in _Fly._ The crow he had forgotten, sitting in the corner of a lonely broken canvas.

“I guess it was obvious. When I first started painting, I would add a little crow to a lot of my pieces. It was like my way of signing a piece without actually signing it, you know? I don’t even know why! I think I was painting a crow I saw outside and thought they were cool.

“Then here, at school, everything was just so big and overwhelming and new, I, well, I forgot? Which sounds kinda dumb but it’s true! I just stopped including the crow in my paintings. Choosing the crow for this project was like remembering it again!”

Suga hummed. “Well, it’s good that you’re back on the right track with this project. Does what you told me help you at all for what emotion you want?”

“Maybe? I don’t know.”

“How about you think about it,” Suga said, standing up and placing the chair he was sitting on back in its proper station. “Put down the pencil, put down the sketchbook, and come back with me to the dorm. We can play a card game, or you can just go to sleep at a normal time, and I’m sure by tomorrow you’ll have an amazing idea!”

“But Sugaaaaa,” Hinata whined, “I don’t have that much time left! I only have three… well now like two days left!”

“Then don’t waste it sitting here thinking so hard I can smell the smoke! You clearly aren’t getting much done, so I think a break would do you good. Kageyama isn’t even there, he’s talking to a professor then going to work in his studio. He won’t be back until a lot later, so you have no excuses.”

Hinata could tell by Suga’s tone that there was no getting out of this break, so he relented, shoving the rest of the sandwich into his mouth and letting Suga drag him to the dorms, his baby blue voice lighting up the cold and dark autumn campus.

\----------------------------------------------------

Back at the dorm, Hinata declined whatever game the upperclassmen were playing in favor of falling into his bed. His back hurt, his hand ached, and he was _exhausted._ Being an artist was a lot of work. He was ready to sleep for more than five hours.

Sadly, rather than falling into blissful dreams, Hinata found himself staring at the ceiling of his dorm. His mind didn’t want to sleep. His mind was full of black feathers and intelligent eyes and that violin music in the back of his head that refused to go away, no matter how hard he tried.

Eventually, Hinata sat up. If he couldn’t sleep, he may as well try to get some work done, right? Try to figure out his final piece? Sliding down from his bed, Hinata grabbed a sketchbook and pencil that sat on his desk and plopped down to work.

The main issue was that Hinata had no idea what emotion he wanted to convey. Should it be happiness? The crow flying into the sunset? That didn’t feel right. Memory? Was that even an emotion? Comfort? Sadness? There were too many options yet none were the _one._

Hinata thought back to his favorite pieces, the ones that had the most emotions. The lonely mountain, the peaceful lake, the energetic forest fire. What did those have? Why did they come so easily, the paintings being revealed like they were meant for the canvas all along? 

_Well, it could have to do with the fact that Kageyama’s music inspired all of them._

Hinata gripped his pencil tighter. _Not helpful, brain!_ He thought in frustration. He’d done other pieces that didn’t need Kageyama’s music! Like the one of his family on a picnic!

The one that Kageyama broke.

_Okay, ignore that. Don’t think about the fight. What inspired the piece in the first place?_ Hinata thought back to that day, frantically trying to get one more piece done for his portfolio. Natsu’s small hands slowly pushing on the flute, making it sing. The fresh green sound. Picnics on summer days. His little sister trying to help him. Feelings of love. Memories.

Maybe it was like Suga had said. Maybe he needed to think about the start. What was he feeling when he finally knew he should do a crow instead? Excited? Complete? Hinata began to messily sketch down words and tiny ideas of paintings, but still none of them looked right. It was like there was a feeling on the edge of his mind, a word on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn’t quite get there yet.

What was it? Why was it so difficult? He finally made it, finally got the advice he needed, finally did the project correctly. It was paying off too! All of his crows looked amazing, their wings beautiful and textured, their eyes careful and intelligent. Yet he couldn’t figure out the most important part, the final piece! Why was it that every time he thought he had made it over the worst part, something else came to stop him!? What was he missing!?

_Snap._

Hinata looked down to see the tip of his pencil had broken off, the graphite rolling slightly on the paper. Sighing, Hinata opened his desk drawer to get a new pencil.

He froze.

Sitting on top of his pencils and other supplies was a hastily done pen drawing on a random piece of scrap paper. Two figures stood, both in silhouette, one taller and one shorter. The taller held an umbrella and the shorter leaned in towards the taller. A downpour of ink surrounded them, scribbled over the page, but the two were safe together.

It was a very small drawing. The figures looked completely wrong. Nothing about it was polished, professional, or colorful, and yet… 

Hinata’s fingers brushed over the scrap of paper. He was hit with a sudden longing for something he couldn’t quite place. A pit in his chest, a loneliness. He had so many people around him, supporting him, yet there was still a piece missing. He was still facing the rainstorm on his own. No one to inspire him. To push him. To challenge him. To make him smile, to make his heart jump, to give him that gut-punch, whirlwind, slow and fast, changing and stagnant, feeling.

Whether he liked it or not, Kageyama was the reason he switched to a better project. The reason he seeked out so much advice, and pushed himself. The reason this project became the jumping off point for his art to improve explosively. It was all Kageyama.

Hinata was fine on his own. He could paint crows and astronauts and get through harsh critiques. He could paint something for his final that would make his teacher happy. It might even make him happy.

But it would never be as beautiful as it could’ve been.

Hinata grabbed the piece of paper, a pen, and a random jacket that had been lying on the ground, practically tripping over himself to get out of the dorm. He almost ran over Nishinoya in his haste to get out, both of them opening the door to their room at the same time.

“Whoa, Shouyou, where you headed?” Nishinoya said as Hinata brushed by him.

“To finish my project!” Hinata called back, running down the hall.

“Oh! Good luck!” Nishinoya yelled, but Hinata barely heard it, Nishinoya’s bright red voice fading out of his vision. As he ran out of the building, Hinata clicked the cheap ink pen and began to write on the back of the drawing in shaky scrawl, praying that Kageyama would be in the studio. And that he wouldn’t kick Hinata out the moment he saw him.

\----------------------------------------------------

Hinata slowed his run as he approached the doors to the art and music studio. He had been there just an hour ago, and there were many other students, but it seemed like a lot of them had gone to their rooms for the day if the darkness peering under the doors was anything to go by.

Hinata entered, stuffing the small pen drawing into a pocket on the jacket. He walked slowly down the hall, calming his breathing and trying to calm his heart. He knew what he had to do, but it was still scary. Kageyama could reject him. Yell at him again. Hinata wouldn’t blame Kageyama for hating him. He said some pretty terrible things, and broke that nice violin bow he had.

Still, he had to try. If he had any hope of finishing his project and of healing the rift in their tentative relationship, he had to do it. 

Hinata was suddenly distracted from his thoughts by the slow crowing of a violin. Looking up, he realized he was close to the end of the hall, right where Kageyama’s practice space was. The melody continued, soft and… and sad.

Colors materialized in front of Hinata’s eyes, flowing like a river and falling like a drizzle of rain. There was black, grey, and the smallest hint of lavender and gold. But the most prominent color was blue.

Dark blue, deep and steady like the ocean, the night sky right at sunset. Blue like a familiar voice, his eyes, his soul. The color swept around and over Hinata, pulling him forward and into the studio, painting his vision and leaving him almost overwhelming with feeling. The song wasn’t perfect. It scratched and sounded odd in some places, flashes of red or green or yellow where they shouldn’t have been. Still, despite its imperfections, it’s shakiness, the blue never wavered. It reached deep into Hinata, filling his lungs until it was like he couldn’t breathe anymore.

Then, it stopped. The song wasn’t finished, that much was clear. It just… ended. And Hinata’s vision cleared of the blues and blacks and grey and there he was.

Kageyama stood, face slack with shock, violin dangling from one hand and bow dangling from the other, staring at Hinata.

“Hinata?” He breathed. It was like he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Like Hinata would fade away into the air if he spoke too loudly. He gently placed his violin on the chair next to him. Hinata just stared at him. His eyes blurred slightly, tears threatening to overtake his vision like the music had once before.

“Hey, Kageyama,” Hinata managed to choke out. The two simply looked at each other. Hinata took in Kageyama’s calloused fingers, the slight bit of graphite on them. His eyes moved to see the lined papers covered in hand drawn music notes scattered on the chair. He assumed Kageyama was taking in his hands, splattered with the black of crow feathers and pen ink and charcoal that he never bothered to wash.

“You… You’re wearing my jacket.” Hinata blinked. Their first time seeing each other in weeks after a huge fight, and that’s all Kageyama can say! That he’s…

Hinata looked down. _Oh yeah, this is his jacket._

Hastily Hinata shrugged it off, practically throwing it at Kageyama.

“I’M SORRY!” He shouted, taking in Kageyama’s startled expression as he caught the jacket. “I shouldn't have said all those things about you! I overstepped my bounds and shouldn’t have yelled and called you those names! It wasn’t fair of me to say that! And… and I miss you a lot!” Both Hinata and Kageyama’s eyes widened at Hinata’s last statement.

Another moment of silence overtook the two. 

“It’s okay,” Kageyama eventually said, voice raspy. “I’m sorry too. I shouldn't have… I said things to you too, that were out of line. I wasn’t being fair either. I’m sorry. And… I guess I miss you too. Dumbass.”

There was no word that could have brought a greater smile to Hinata’s face than that one. Before he knew it, his legs were moving and he was surging forward, tackling Kageyama to the ground in a hug. Surprisingly, Kageyama even hugged back. Though it was a bit stiff and awkward, Hinata wouldn’t have had it any other way.

After a moment Hinata jumped off of Kageyama and sat back on the floor, eyes eager. “Kageyama, even though we had a big fight and it was the wooorst, it actually helped! I got way better at the anatomy thing by talking to Daichi and Asahi and Ukai and Bokuto and Yachi and I’ve been working on a new project! I finally figured it all out, and you were kinda right that I was scared, that I wasn’t trying to improve myself. And you’ll never hear me say that ever again!” Hinata added as he saw Kageyama’s smug grin. “But I started a whole new project!”

“You did?”

“Yeah! Sorry you aren’t the main focus of it anymore, but I promise if you really want I can do a painting of you,” Hinata said, as if the margins of his notebooks weren’t filled with bad doodles of Kageyama’s face. He blushed at the thought. Luckily Kageyama didn’t seem to notice.

“I changed my project too. And…” Kageyama’s face twisted. “I guess you helped me out too. You were right that I didn’t put any ‘soul’ or whatever into my music. I said you were scared of messing up or being embarrassed but I was too. But don’t you get a smug grin either! Suga, Akaashi, Takeda, and Kiyoko were twice as helpful as you dumbass!” Hinata held up his hands, but a smile still played at his lips.

“Was that your new project you were playing just now? I hope so because at first I thought it was and then I was like ‘wait I’m the focus of the project why is it so sad? Does he hate me that much? Or like me so he’s sad I’m gone?’ and I’m no violin person but it just sounded not like me! And now you’ve said you changed it! So it makes sense! Was it? What did you change it to? Why is it so sad? It sounds really good! Is someone helping you?” Hinata was bouncing around, questions bubbling out of him. He didn’t realize how much he missed talking to Kageyama until Kageyama was right in front of him.

“Shut up! That’s too many questions! I can’t answer them all!” Kageyama shouted, but his shining eyes and laugh in his voice betrayed his happiness. “Yeah, that was my new song. Suga and Akaashi have been helping me the most since I started with it.”

“So what’s it about?” At this, Kageyama’s face fell slightly, prompting Hinata to settle slightly as well. “Kageyama?”

“It’s for my grandfather,” Kageyama said quietly, almost whispering.

“Oh.”

“Yeah. Suga said that I should pick someone important to me. Who I had strong feelings about. Maybe feelings that I wanted to work out, or express. So I… I picked him.”

“I think that’s a good choice,” Hinata said. 

“Thanks.” Kageyama rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “I’ve even been trying to have some of his original pieces mixed in, just a little bit of each piece. The ones I remember, at least.”

“That sounds amazing! Can I hear it?”

Kageyama immediately stiffened, pulling his arms towards him as if to shield himself. He also seemed to recognize his actions, and tried to relax slightly.

“Um… it’s not finished yet. I don’t… it’s… it just doesn’t really… yeah.”

Before, when Kageyama had refused to share his song with Hinata, it was different. He was more stubborn and proud. Now, he had a… softness to him. The ocean storm his voice was before was now a quiet evening on the sea, waves barely hitting the sand before retreating. Hinata knew the feeling well, it was a fear that he had faced many times. It’s scary, to put your deepest emotions and whole self into the world. He decided he wouldn’t push it.

“I’m not finished either, don’t worry! I’ve been sketching ideas and shapes and half finished drawings all day and I can’t figure out what to do for my final piece!” Hinata dramatically fell back onto the ground.

“I could try to help,” Kageyama said. His dark blue voice had the slightest edge of worry. As if Hinata would say no.

“Of course you can help! Come on, my stuff is just across the hall!” Hinata leapt off the floor, rushing to the art studio and flicking on the light. Kageyama followed behind, watching Hinata scurry to his station and pull out all sorts of pieces on everything from loose paper to large canvases.

“Wow,” Kageyama whispered under his breath. All around him were the crows Hinata had been creating, each better than the last, with more precision, focus, and accuracy.

“Here they are! Isn’t it amazing how much you can do in such a short time? You should see all the reference photos I had to print out though, it was a nightmare! Yachi’s lucky they let her do it all digital for the final piece. I guess that’s what I get for being in painting as my focus! Still, these are the best things I’ve ever done! Not that the stuff I did of you was bad! You look good! I mean in real life! Like you… uh…” Hinata backtracked and rambled, trying to stop the blush that was reaching his cheeks as he thought about Kageyama’s face, and his body, and his hair, and those eyes, and the way his hand felt when Hinata grabbed it, and how his lips-

_OKAY stopping that train of thought right now! He only forgave you like five minutes ago!_ Hinata shook his head, turning on his heel to Kageyama.

“I’ve been trying to come up with what I want to do for the final project. I want something specific, but I can’t figure out what!”

Kageyama walked toward all the pieces, fingertips lightly grazing them. “I don’t really know how I could help. I don't have a good piece to play if you want something specific. I usually just play a random song.”

“Hmm… I have an idea!” Hinata grabbed Kageyama’s shoulders and sat him down on the stool at his station. “Tell me about writing your song!”

“What? Why?” Kageyama said, almost falling off the stool.

“It’s like Suga told me earlier, maybe I have to go back to the beginning, and you’re the beginning! You were my first best friend here and my partner in art! My p-ART-ner! I made the best pieces when you played! And you’re the reason I’m here now! The reason I pushed myself, the reason I changed my project, the reason I’m better, it’s you! I was looking for what was missing, and it’s you, you’re my missing piece!”

Hinata’s excitement about figuring it out blinded him from what he had said, and how it affected Kageyama, who looked like a stuttering tomato.

“O-okay… I guess I can tell you about my song,” Kageyama managed, his mind still reeling with _you’re my missing piece._

“Really?” Hinata said, eyes shining as he looked at Kageyama. And Kageyama couldn’t say no.

“Yeah.” Taking a steadying breath, Kageyama thought about how he felt writing the song. “It was like… once I got the idea from Suga, it was exciting but also really scary. I had to think about a time where I was alone and sad and angry. And then I had to express it in music, and I barely knew how to do that with a song that was already composed. 

“But the more I did it, the more I felt… it was like, I dunno, it was like breathing really deep again after you’ve been running. I couldn’t keep it in myself anymore, I was just chasing the song, the idea, the feelings. It was really freeing? I guess? I wasn’t worrying so much about getting every note right or sounding perfect or anything. It was just about feelings. It’s like Akaashi said… I was trapped on the ground and when I took the chance and let myself go and just feel the emotions… it was like flying in the sky.”

Hinata couldn’t find a pencil and a piece of paper fast enough. His mind was racing, his hand going even faster as he sketched. Kageyama looked at him, concerned, and hopped off the stool to look over Hinata’s shoulder.

“Kageyama you’re a genius! You got it! That’s it!” Hinata shouted as he frantically wrote and drew. “It’s a bird, it’s flying, it’s reaching like the boy with the wings, but not really reaching, it’s more like it’s seeing, it’s chasing! Like you said, it’s chasing, it's flying, it’s…” Hinata took a breath, looking at the messy and barely understandable sketch on the paper. It didn’t matter if no one else got it, because Hinata did. He knew exactly what to do.

“It’s free.”

Hinata turned to Kageyama and buried him in the second hug of the day. Kageyama was able to stop them from toppling over this time, but just barely. However, Kageyama was stiff in the hug, not even hugging back.

“Kageyama?” Hinata asked, pulling out of the hug slightly. Kageyama wasn’t even looking at him, instead out to nothing with an unreadable expression on his face. Then he suddenly looked down at Hinata and swept him off his feet into a hug Hinata didn’t think Kageyama was capable of.

“It’s you!” He shouted.

“What’s me?” Hinata shouted back, extremely confused but not unhappy to be in Kageyama’s arms. Kageyama set him down, pushing Hinata away but keeping him held by the shoulders.

“It’s you, the song, I know how to finish the song, just like you said, you’re the missing piece in my song too!” The last time Hinata had seen Kageyama so excited was when Suga had gotten him an extra milk drink from the vending machine, and that was still nowhere near this Kageyama.

“Why would your grandfather’s song have me?” Hinata asked.

“Because it’s you! Because he was my person, he was there for me when my parents weren’t there and my sister was never around and I got moved through classes and older kids hated me, he was always there. He was there until he… and then I was alone. I was alone, but he told me, he told me to follow the music and I did and it took me to school here and to this dorm and to this studio and… and he brought me to you.”

Hinata and Kageyama looked at each other. It was like they were starstruck. Hinata felt it hit him, the squeeze in his heart, the swirl in his stomach. It looked like Kageyama may have been feeling it too.

The spell was broken when Kageyama blinked and seemed to remember what was happening.

“I have to write it down!” Kageyama was suddenly out of the room, leaving Hinata with a blank canvas and work to do. His overwhelmingly huge crush on Kageyama could wait. He had a sketch to finish.

So Hinata began to draw the outline of a bird on the canvas, smiling as the idea finally came to life. He knew he had been holding himself back with this final piece, but now he finally knew why. Yes, he could’ve made something good without Kageyama. He already had, with all his studies and other work he had been doing the past week. He could’ve ignored Kageyama for the rest of the year and still succeeded, still been a good artist.

Hinata’s smile only grew as he heard Kageyama playing, sound drifting through the door. Though the notes started a dark blue and black, they were beginning to form into something more… orange. Hinata closed his eyes for just a moment, letting the color wash over him.

Yes, he could do it all without Kageyama. But in the end, why would he ever want to?

\----------------------------------------------------

It was an hour later when Hinata was finally happy with the sketch and Kageyama finally emerged with pages of music notes. As usual, they both packed up and left the studio together, Kageyama shrugging on the jacket Hinata brought him to fight the autumn chill. Hinata seemed to be content keeping himself warm on pure energy, babbling about his project.

“It’s an angle that’s kinda hard but I can do it! The bird is coming from the right side of the canvas, pushing off of its nest and flying towards the sun in the top left! The bird is really big though, it takes up most of the canvas. I guess it’s a little more middle of the left? Like the middle bottom left, there’s still some stuff in the actual bottom left, but yeah! It’s gonna be awesome!”

“You sure you can handle that?” Kageyama asked blandly.

“Of course I can handle it! You sound like stupidshima when you say stuff like that.”

“Don’t tell me I sound like that asshole!” Kageyama yelled. Hinata stuck his tongue out at him, before his eyes widened.

“Oh, and one more thing! Check the jacket pocket, I have a surprise for you!” He said, bouncing a little.

Kageyama put his hand in the pocket, fingers touching a piece of paper. He pulled it out, eyes settling on the messy ink drawing of the two of them standing in the rain.

“Turn it over,” Hinata suggested. Kageyama flipped the paper, and saw a note on the back, written in messy scrawl.

_Guess who apologized first? 50-49, I’m winning :D_

“Dumbass! That isn’t fair! Apologizing first does not count!” Kageyama almost crumpled the paper in his hand before he remembered the doodle on the back and chose to stick in his pocket again.

“Yes it does! I’m winning, first to fifty points! Wooo!” Hinata practically skipped around the walkway, his breath able to be seen in the cool night air.

“Well, I’m going to get to fifty points right now!” Hinata turned at Kageyama’s declaration, walking up to him.

“Oh yeah! And how are you gonna do that? Race to the dorm? Uno contest? What if we see who can put the most marshmallows in their mouth!”

Kageyama stopped Hinata’s rambles by grabbing his shoulders, before steadying himself, leaning in, and kissing Hinata

Hinata froze in surprise. _Kageyama is kissing me. On the mouth. Like actually kissing me. I have dreamed of this day. Oh my god. He’s kissing me._

… 

_Maybe I should do something._

Hinata closed his eyes and leaned into the kiss. It was a bit messy and Hinata was on his tiptoes to press against Kageyama, but overall Hinata thought it was perfect. Slowly, Kageyama pulled away, Hinata following him, trying to savor the last few moments of the kiss. Their faces remained next to each other, warm breath hitting each other’s lips.

“I kissed you first. So I think we’re tied,” Kageyama said softly, still inches away from Hinata’s face, lips barely brushing together. Rather than responding, Hinata pushed forward again. He kissed Kageyama, gentle and slow, and pulled away after a moment.

“And now we’re even,” Hinata whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right back at ya w/ dem gay rights not gay fights
> 
> And they finally kissed! Yeah I tagged slow burn but I also tagged Kagehina and we are living up to both babey
> 
> Also sorry this chapter is so much shorter than the one before it, honestly that chapter was a crazy fluke of writing and now we’re back in the 3000-5000 range lmao
> 
> Also Also, if you recognized that pen drawing, good for you! It happened all the way back in chapter 10, believe it or not. Same with the ordeal with the jacket
> 
> Also Also Also, and this is some sad news, the next chapter will be the last one, wrapping up all the loose ends I can remember and bringing the story to a close. It’s been a wild ride!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and commenting!!! It gives me life to read everyone's kind words <3 The next and last chapter should be out within the week, and if you wanna chat about anything and everything, hit me up @squydneyyy on tumblr!


	20. Orchestra Performances and Art Exhibitions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the end of the semester, and time for the final art and music shows for Miyagi University of the Arts.

Love tends to be a difficult thing for many people. It’s a sudden gut-punch, a whirlwind, a slow ascension, a long walk off a short pier, a scrapbook, a pile of forgotten things in the corner of the attic. Everything and nothing all at the same time. Something that can change in an instant, yet something that can also be never-changing. Stone beaten by the sea for years on end, yet it refuses to erode.

Yes, love was difficult. A squeeze of the heart, a swirl of the stomach. But it was also a light in your eyes and colors in your head and music in the halls that you felt down to the tips of your toes. Love was difficult, Hinata Shouyou would tell you that, but he would also tell you that love was so, so easy.

It was even easier when you weren’t late to your boyfriend’s ( _boyfriend!_ ) final concert of the semester. Hinata was practically ripping the room apart looking for his gloves while Yamaguchi anxiously waited in the doorway, checking the time on his phone every five seconds as if that would slow it down.

“Hinata, you don’t need your gloves! We have to go!” Yamaguchi said, his light green voice tinting Hinata’s vision.

“But I do need them! I lost my last pair and Suga gave me these new ones as a gift and we’ll see him and all the other music people after the concert so we can go to the art show and he’ll ask about the gloves and he’ll be so upset if I tell him I can’t find them! And not like Kageyama upset or Daichi upset or Tsukki upset where they get all mad and get that face, but he’ll have that sad look and I can’t handle that sad look! It’s like disappointing your mom, I can’t disappoint my mom!”

“I… Don’t really know what to say to that?”

Hinata ignored Yamaguchi, continuing to dig through drawers. He knew the gloves were there somewhere, they had to be! He could already picture the Suga’s face when he showed up gloveless…

“Yamaguchi! Is Hinata in there?” Cotton candy pink appeared and Hinata looked to the door, where Yamaguchi was moving aside. Yachi walked in, smiling brightly. “Hinata! You left these in my room!” In her hands were a pair of bright orange gloves.

“YACHI YOU’RE A LIFESAVER!” Hinata yelled, jumping up and grabbing the gloves out of Yachi’s hands. They fit him snuggly. Gloves on, Hinata pushed through Yamaguchi and Yachi, practically skipping down the hallway. “Now let’s go! We’re gonna be late!”

“That’s what I’ve been saying!” Yamaguchi complained, but he followed Hinata, Yachi by his side. Together, the trio burst out into the cold afternoon. The grass was covered with a thick layer of frost, making it twinkle. All around them, the bare trees stood tall, ice on their empty branches. People were walking all around them, heading to exhibition halls or the large theater that was about to start the orchestra performances.

Hinata stopped for just a moment to breath in the cool air before moving again, dragging his friends to the concert hall. He didn’t want to be late for his boyfriend ( _boyfriend!_ ) and all the other Karasuno people. Worse than Suga’s disappointment at the lost gloves would be Daichi’s annoyance if they were late.

Luckily, as the three came up on the concert hall, there were still plenty of people waiting to get in. The three stepped into line, excitement palpable on their faces. Hinata’s flushed face was fixed with a wide smile. He couldn’t wait for the concert, not just to see his boyfriend ( _boyfriend!_ ) and friends perform, but also to see what it would look like. He was used to a single instrument with Kageyama, only hearing two when the whole “accompaniment debacle” went down. He wondered what a whole orchestra would look like. He hoped he could paint it some day.

“Hinata, come on!” Yachi said, tugging him along. Hinata shook away his thoughts to realize they were now at the front of the line and heading into the theater. They passed the threshold, greeted with thankfully warm air. Even better, they saw a familiar face taking tickets.

“Ah! Hello Hinata, Yachi, Yamaguchi! I’m glad you could make it!” Though Hinata never got a chance to talk to Takeda much, he still loved the forest green of his voice. It was deep and strong, rooting itself in his vision.

“Hi Takeda!” The trio said. They showed him their tickets, him happily ripping the side off of them and giving them back.

“I hope you all enjoy the show! All of the music students have been working extraordinary hard to bring you this performance. I’m sure you’ll all love it! Make sure to say hello to them for me!”

“Will do!” Hinata said. He then waved to Takeda and followed his friends inside the auditorium.

The doors opened into a sea of red chairs and a mix of colors in Hinata’s eyes. The room was full of people. Family, friends, students, teachers. Hinata recognized a few faces from art classes here and there. But he was mostly enraptured by the theater itself, high ceilings and a chandelier, thick velvet curtains, and an air of wonder. He was lucky Yachi and Yamaguchi were there to keep him from tripping on the way to their seats.

“There you guys are! We were wondering when you’d show up!” Daichi’s warm brown voice fell over Hinata as he sat down in his chair.

“Sorry it took so long! I was looking for my gloves!” Hinata held up his hands to show them off.

“Well it’s good timing, the performances should start in a few minutes.”

Hinata gave him a nod, and greeted the other art students from Karasuno dorms. Though not all students on campus attended the concerts, many of them did to show support for their friends. There was an evening concert as well, which more families and outside of school friends went to, meaning the afternoon one was often full of students.

Asahi was just about to ask Hinata about how his final turned out when they were interrupted with familiar golden fireworks.

“HEY HEY HEY! It’s Karasuno!” Bokuto yelled boisterously, his voice rising above even the noisy chatter of the theater.

“Bokuto!” Hinata shouted back, almost leaping out of his seat.

“My favorite disciple! Hinata Shouyou! Future Fukurodani resident!”

“Bokuto, for the last time, you are not stealing Hinata,” Daichi cut in.

“Yeah Bokuto, if anything he would join us at Nekoma,” a sly black voice replied. Kuroo sauntered up to the group, followed by Kenma and a tall silver-haired man.

“Nope, not happening,” Daichi said, not even bothering to say hi to Kuroo.

“Such a stick in the mud, Daichi!”

“Hey Shouyou,” Kenma said quietly. It was hard to hear, but Hinata could pick out the subtle goldenrod.

“Kenma! You're here! It’s so awesome you could make it, you’re gonna love the show and I can’t wait to show you my art stuff afterwards! It’s gonna be so cool!”

“Sure, that sounds fun.”

“Hey Shrimpy, stop trying to steal my man,” Kuroo accused.

“I like Shouyou more than you,” Kenma deadpanned.

“Kitten, I’m wounded! Just appalled!” Kuroo dramatically put a hand to his chest. “My heart is broken. I’ll never recover.”

Kenma didn’t even look at Kuroo, instead waving to Hinata. “Bye Shouyou. We should get to our seats, but I’ll see you after the show.”

“Oh yeah, Yaku’s gonna be so mad at us for almost being late. He’ll probably kick Lev again.”

“It’s not even my fault!” The other man next to Kuroo, who Hinata assumed was Lev, had a silvery green voice, moving over his eyes like a snake.

“Everything is your fault. We couldn’t leave because you spilled paint all over your jacket and had to find a new one.”

“You were the one who spilled the paint!”

“I resent that statement.”

Kenma nudged Kuroo, who looked up from his argument with Lev to see that most everyone was sitting down by now, the show starting any second.

“You’re right Kenma, we should sit down. See you after the show Karasuno!” He said with a wink. “Oh, and before I go…” Kuroo turned to Bokuto, who had been following the conversation and bouncing on the balls of his feet. “BRO!”

“BRO!” Bokuto dramatically brought Kuroo in for a hug. “Now I can finally sit down! See you after the show, bro!”

“Right back at ya bro!”

With one more dramatic wave from Bokuto, he left, bounding off to his seat. Kenma, Kuroo, and Lev left as well. Just in time, the house lights dimmed, prompting the last few stragglers to sit down and the crowd to quiet.

A professor came out and gave a few words, but Hinata could barely pay attention. He was practically bouncing in his seat, eyes on the curtain.

Finally, it separated, revealing the orchestra behind it. The first year orchestra was performing first. Hinata scanned the seats of violinists, looking for Kageyama. As the conductor raised her bow, Hinata’s eyes reached Kageyama. He was sitting close to the stage, dressed as sharply as usual. Even from so far away, Hinata could see the excitement in the slight shake of his hands and the glint in his eyes.

Then the conductor brought her hands down. And Hinata gasped.

It was a flurry of color, a wave, a sea, a hurricane, all right in front of Hinata’s eyes. The colors swam and drifted and pushed and pulled, dancing around him. He had never seen anything like it. It was like a personal light show or firework display. Hinata was enraptured. It was _beautiful._

Hinata closed his eyes, simply letting the color wash over him. As he listened, his mind began to drift into memories. Into what led him to that moment.

After he and Kageyama made up ( _and made out!_ ), they both worked hard to finish their respective projects. Hinata finished his crow flying into the sun, calling it _The Clipped Crow Flies Again_. Kageyama thought the title was too wordy, but Hinata had never been much of a namer. It wasn’t a perfect project, of course. Hinata knew he still had a long way to go. Still, it was the best thing he’d ever made. His teacher agreed, giving him his first A in a while.

Similarly, Kageyama finished his piece as a tribute to his grandfather. It was choppy and simplistic at times, but the raw emotions could be felt. Their closeness in the beginning, the sharp loss and loneliness, the anger, the depression. All of it rang deep in the chests of those who heard it. The end of the song was finally complete as well, softening the harsh emotions as something akin to hope shined through. Kageyama said he had only felt as nervous as he did performing the song when he decided to kiss Hinata. Luckily, his professor had seen the journey Kageyama had gone on, and was proud of his final product, even if it was messy and imperfect. He was rewarded with his own A, though he liked to say the song itself was worth it.

Suga had been so ecstatic about the news of his two favorite underclassmen (though he’d never admit it out loud) that he treated them to lunch.

When the news broke that Kageyama and Hinata were dating, there was a large exchange of money. Both Hinata and Kageyama thought people would be more surprised, but apparently everyone in the dorm and even some people outside of it had been in on a large betting ring about when the two would finally get their act together.

Suga won, of course. ("It's called dramatic tension, Daichi, I called that it would be after a fight! Read the room!") How else would he have gotten the money to treat the two to lunch?

Hinata snickered slightly at the memory. With all the colors around him, he latched on to the hint of light blue in the sea. Suga was a great friend and mentor. He couldn’t wait to see him in his own performance.

Suga on his mind, Hinata also thought about all his other mentors. Daichi had an awesome sculpture lined up for the art show, and Asahi’s hyper-realistic pieces were show-stopping. Ukai had helped Hinata pick out the right pieces to present at the exhibition, and would be there later. And of course Hinata had been at the official unveiling of Kuroo and Bokuto’s mural. Despite having seen it before, it still blew him away. He knew he’d be asking to steal a wall at Karasuno as soon as he could. Crows were his specialty now, after all.

Suddenly, Hinata was shocked back to reality upon hearing and seeing something very familiar. Something very… orange. Opening his eyes, they latched onto Kageyama. For a split second, Kageyama looked up too. Their eyes met.

It was a small moment, barely a second frozen in time, but it was all the confirmation that Hinata needed. That small snippet of music was from a piece Kageyama created shortly after their make up and make out.

After the first composition project, Kageyama unexpectedly fell in love with it. Hinata would often find him writing his own pieces and playing them, trying to make them sound right. Suga loved composing as well, and was happy to help Kageyama clean up his pieces and compose more difficult parts. Hinata loved to hear everything he came up with. He loved to paint all the different pieces, from the short ones to the way-too-long ones, rough and smooth, colorful and monotone.

His favorite piece was one Kageyama shyly admitted that he’d written for him. It was an uplifting piece, full of energy and joy and soft edges. Like all of Kageyama’s pieces, it wasn’t perfect. Especially not on the first try. But Hinata loved it anyway. Loved it so much that it had inspired a very special painting that was sitting in a presentation hall right now, glowing with an orange sunset.

The orchestra quickly moved on from the small section of Hinata’s song into something that Hinata didn’t recognize. Hinata was confused as to how his song got into a huge orchestra. Not that he was complaining, it looked and sounded a lot more polished and hearing from an entire orchestra was amazing. Still, he was curious. It seemed he would have to wait until after the show.

\----------------------------------------------------

Hinata didn’t have to wait too long for the concert to be over. At least, it didn’t feel like that long. Time flies when you’re having fun. Or in Hinata’s case, watching a symphony of colors dance in front of your eyes.

The applause was a bit rowdier than it may have been at a show with less students. All the orchestras got whoops and hollers, and Daichi even rose to his feet to cheer on Suga as they all bowed. Even though it was four orchestras, they all sounded unique and amazing. Hinata hoped they would be as impressed with the art as everyone in the theater was with the music.

Outside the theater, the Karasuno dorm all waited together for the music students. Of course, they were once again approached by Nekoma and Fukurodani, much to Daichi’s annoyance.

“Hey Karasuno! Enjoy the show?” Kuroo asked. Even when asking something completely innocent, Kuroo always managed to make it sound sinister in some way.

“Of course they did! Especially the second years, because Akaashi was performing with them!” Bokuto said proudly.

“We get it, you’re in love with Akaashi. The whole school knows that,” Kuroo blandly retorted.

“Of course I am! Because he’s the best music person ever! And I’m the best art person ever! We’re meant to be!”

“Oh! Bokuto! Do you have stuff in the art show too?” Hinata asked, jumping forward.

“Well of course I do! I have the best stuff in the show! My owl art defeats all the other boring art there!”

“Somehow I don’t believe that.” Hinata turned to the sandy voice to see the musicians walking up, Tsukishima’s bored expression fixed on Bokuto.

“Tsukki! I’m hurt!”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Hey guys! Awesome show!” Daichi said to everyone. 

“Yeah! Awesome! Oh, and Takeda says hi!” Hinata cut in.

“He does? We’ll be sure to talk to him later then,” Suga said. He then walked up to Daichi, slinging an arm around his shoulder.

“What did you think?” He asked, a teasing smile on his face.

“Absolutely beautiful,” Daichi replied, looking back lovingly

“Thanks Dai! Though I absolutely messed up in the second half.”

“Didn’t even notice. It sounded perfect, as always.”

“Aww, thanks.”

“I’m getting a cavity watching this,” Kuroo complained.

“You’re one to talk,” Tsukishima snarked, gesturing to Kuroo, who had an arm slung around Kenma.

“We’re not that bad!”

“Yes you are,” Kenma said. Kuroo frowned, the two starting their usual back and forth. Everyone else rolled their eyes and continued greeting each other. 

It was a very familiar scene, Hinata thought as he looked around. Ennoshita hitting Tanaka on the back of the head for annoying Kiyoko, Narita and Kinoshita laughing in the background. Noya was bouncing around Asahi, asking him about the show and what he thought, while Asahi responded with a stutter. Yachi was nervously complimenting Kiyoko on her work, and Tsukishima and Yamaguchi were a step outside the group in their own little world. Kuroo antagonizing Bokuto, Lev being kicked by a short guy Hinata assumed was Yaku, Kenma ignoring all of them and playing some game on his phone. It was nice.

Except for the two people missing. Hinata furrowed his brow, wondering where Kageyama was. As if sensing something was wrong, Suga turned to him.

“Hinata! I hope you enjoyed the show! Nice gloves by the way,” he said with a wink

“Oh, thanks! And yeah, it was awesome!”

“That’s good! But I can see on your face that you’re worried, so if you’re wondering about Kageyama, I’m sure he’ll be here soon. I saw him talking to-”

“AKAAAAASHI!” Bokuto sprinted over to the approaching Akaashi, lifting him up in his arms. Akaashi’s face only held a light blush, his expression still neutral.

“Hello Bokuto. Sorry it took so long. I was speaking with Kageyama.”

At those words, Hinata leaned and saw Kageyama a half-step behind Akaashi, looking slightly concerned at the Bokuto situation. And while Hinata didn’t yell his name, he still sprinted at full speed and practically knocked over Kageyama in his excitement.

“Kageyama you were amazing! It was so cool to see the whole orchestra, all the colors were like _wham_ and _zoom_ and _wow_ and it was like fireworks or something! And I saw you, you looked so cool dressed up and playing all professional! I was like whoaaa, that’s my boyfriend up there! It was awesome! You were the coolest! And I heard the part with the piece you wrote, how did that get in the show? It was crazy I was like ‘I know this one!’ It was all orange and red and yellow and _bam_! Right in my face! You really are the best!”

Kageyama looked petrified under Hinata’s shining gaze, face red. “Sh-shut up, dumbass,” he managed. Hinata only laughed.

“And now we get to see the art show! I’m so excited, come on, we gotta go!” Hinata grabbed Kageyama’s hand, pulling him along.

“Hinata! Wait up!” Suga called with a laugh. The rest of the group followed the two, chatting amongst themselves about the art show. Hinata slowed down slightly, but he and Kageyama still remained in front of the group.

“So Kageyama, how did the song get into the show?” Hinata asked. This caused Kageyama to blush even more.

“Our teacher wrote what we played. She said she wanted a piece of us in the show, so she took a few of the original compositions we wrote to see if some would fit in. I was just one of the few she chose. Her version sounds better than mine. It’s a lot more cohesive.”

Hinata hummed, tilting his head. “It sounded good, but I think your version of it is the best one!”

Kageyama didn’t respond, but Hinata felt a small squeeze on their joined hands. He smiled, swinging their arms between them.

“Well, I can’t wait for you to see the art show! I have an awesome surprise for you, you’re gonna love it! Plus there’s a lot of other cool stuff too, Daichi made an awesome statue and Asahi’s drawings are amazing! I heard Kuroo was doing something with negative space, which sounds awesome! I can’t wait to see!”

Hinata jumped in the air with excitement, Kageyama watching him with a fond smile. The rest of the group behind them, they made their way to the art exhibition.

\----------------------------------------------------

The art halls were full of people. That was to be expected, but it still shocked Hinata sometimes, how many people would come to see the student’s art. Friends and family came from all around to see the end of semester stuff. For a moment Hinata thought of his mom and Natsu, who weren’t able to make it. He didn’t mind too much. He sent his mom tons of photos, and she promised they would be able to come to the spring show. Instead of dwelling on who couldn’t be there, Hinata turned his attention back to the exhibition and those who were there.

Daichi decided they should start in the hall for the third years, herding everyone over. Asahi was nervous to show off his portraits, but Nishinoya chided him for being so scared and Suga karate chopped him, so Hinata thought he’d be all right.

Daichi also showed off his piece, a beautiful sculpture of two eagles fighting in the air. He stood proudly in front of it, arms crossed and head up high. “It took many long nights and failed attempts, but here it is!”

“Wow Daichi! That’s so cool! Amazing!” Hinata hopped around the statue looking at it from all angles.

“Better than anything you could make, dumbass,” Kageyama remarked. Hinata faked a dramatic gasp.

“Kageyama! So rude! Anyway, I’m a painter not a sculptor!”

“Can you two not fight for five minutes?” Daichi said. Hinata and Kageyama looked up from where they were grabbing at each other’s hands and pushing the other around.

“No.”

Daichi sighed, but with a fond edge. He turned back to Suga, who was admiring his work.

“This is amazing, Dai! I hadn’t seen it painted, I didn’t think you were gonna do that.”

“He wasn’t but I managed to convince him.” Even Hinata and Kageyama stopped fighting to look up at Ukai, who had strolled over to the group.

“Ukai! What are you doing here?” Hinata asked.

“Considering I’m an art teacher, I kinda have to be here, shorty. I’m watching over the third year show, thought I might come say hi to some of my students. Though before the exhibition started, I got a look at all the other works, and I have to say, Hinata, yours came out rather well.”

“Really?!” Hinata asked, stars in his eyes. “Thank you!”

“Yeah yeah,” Ukai said with a smile. “I gotta keep walking, but nice to see all of you. Try not to break anything.” With that, Ukai walked off to greet other students and parents, the last of his swirling grey voice fading away like smoke.

“Alright, I think we should go see some of the other halls,” Daichi said, rounding up the rest of the Karasuno group. They looked at a few more pieces before heading into the second year hall. Ennoshita proudly showed off a collection of movie poster designs, talking about photography and photoshop and graphic design elements. Kinoshita showed his collection of charcoal pieces, focusing on close ups. Hinata was amazed at the hyper-realistic hands and eyes, begging a started Kinoshita to give him some advice.

Soon enough though, the group was moving to the first year’s hall. Hinata was buzzing with excitement, barely able to wait for the rest of the group. He knew where his pieces were displayed, near the back. He also knew he wanted to show Kageyama first. So, as the rest of the group headed to see Yamaguchi’s watercolor paintings, Hinata grabbed Kageyama and led him away from the group.

“Hinata! What are you doing!” Kageyama protested.

“I want you to see my artwork before anyone else! It’s a surprise for you!” Hinata dodged and weaved his way through the crowd, narrowly avoiding knocking quite a few people over. Eventually, he made it to the first of his two pieces.

“Here it is,” Hinata said, slightly breathless. Kageyama regained his balance, miffed after being dragged through a crowded art hall. But looking at the first painting, his annoyance faded away.

He recognized it. It looked the same as the one he had seen on Hinata’s wall. The one he had broken. But somehow it was also… different. It still had Hinata’s colorful and messy style, that hadn’t changed. But everything had more purpose and logic in this painting. The shadows and highlights made more sense, the shapes were more pleasing to the eye. The people sitting on the grass looked more like people.

Looking closer, Kageyama realized the other big difference in the painting. The first one had a few people. He knew Suga was there, and so was Hinata’s mom and sister and other friends. This one, however, had a much larger cast of characters.

Sitting and watching the sunset was Karasuno dorm and more. There was Nishinoya pointing excitedly at something, and Kiyoko watching peacefully. Bokuto being wrangled by Akaashi, Kenma on his phone. And right in the middle were two figures that Kageyama knew all too well.

Hinata’s head lay against Kageyama’s shoulder, both of them bathed in golden light. It reminded him of that night they had, looking up at the stars. Playing their little question game. He almost reached out to brush his hand over the two of them, but he refrained.

“Sooooo, what do you think?” Hinata finally said. He had been watching Kageyama look at his painting in silence, nervously awaiting a verdict. “Wait, before you say anything, I have another cool thing about this painting! You know the song you wrote, the one for me?” Kageyama nodded. “This painting is that song!”

Hinata looked back at the painting with a smile. That song made him feel _warm,_ and looked like a gorgeous sunset whenever it was played. The first time he heard the piece played by Kageyama’s slightly shaky hands, he knew exactly what to do.

Kageyama gulped. “It’s… it’s really good.”

“Really? You think so?”

“Yeah. Yeah, it’s… wow.”

“You know, in a way, it was almost a good thing that you broke my painting! I like this one a lot better.” Hinata remembered when he looked at the old painting and saw nothing but mistakes. Frustration. The sense of family and love had left the painting. Now, though, it gained new strength. It was the new family Hinata had found. The new love he had discovered. However, while it captured the warmth and happiness he felt, there was still something it didn’t capture. Something he knew he couldn’t put into words. Instead, he put it into his second piece.

“Kageyama, I have one more I wanna show you. Come here.” Hinata dragged Kageyama over to his second piece. This one wasn’t a re-make, and it was a lot harder to get right. The people in the other one were so much smaller, he had already done the scenery once before. This second piece, however, had taken forever.

_But it was all worth it,_ Hinata thought, staring up at the large canvas in front of him.

The picture depicted two men reaching for one another, one from the top right reaching down, and the other from the bottom left reaching up. It was painted in such a way that you could flip it upside down and the image would still make sense.

The man in the bottom right was leaping into the air, pages of music fluttering out behind him along with seas of color. He was straining towards the sky, towards the hand reaching out to him, almost touching in the center of the painting.

The man in the top right was flying downwards. And it truly was _flying_ , for out of his back stuck two beautiful black wings. He almost seemed trying to pull the other man into the sky. But another look made it seem he was trying to reach the other man so he could be pulled down. Black feathers floated around him in the air.

To anyone who knew them, it was obvious who the painting depicted. The winged man had bright orange hair. The leaping man had dark blue eyes.

There they were, Hinata and Kageyama, reaching for one another. Striving for one another. Pushing, pulling, changing one another. Loving one another.

Kageyama was usually a man of few words, but this time Hinata could tell he was speechless for another reason. Slowly, Hinata reached out and took his hand, squeezing it gently.

“Hinata,” Kageyama said softly. Even in the crowded hall, Hinata could hear it. It felt like it was just the two of them. “Thank you. I’ve been… since high school it’s been… I’ve been so alone. But you, you came in my life and you pushed me and helped me and made me better than I could have ever been. So… thank you.”

Hinata felt his eyes water slightly, but no tears fell. Instead, he leaned into Kageyama. “I love you too,” he whispered.

“WHOA! Hinata, is this yours?! This is amazing!” Tanaka’s in-your-face traffic cone orange voice startled Hinata and Kageyama apart, though their hands remained linked.

“Wow Hinata, you really improved!” Daichi said, looking at the pieces.

“Well, even if I didn’t complete the Kageyama project thing, I didn’t spend all that time drawing him for nothing!” Hinata said sheepishly. Daichi clapped a proud hand on his shoulder.

“Is this us? It’s so lovely!” Suga leaned close to the sunset painting, pointing out details to Kiyoko who stood next to him. The rest of the team came up to him too, pointing at and talking about the paintings they saw.

Hinata felt overwhelmed, everyone surrounding him, his paintings there for all to see. But it wasn’t anxiety that overwhelmed him, no fear or nerves. Kageyama’s hand held firm in his own. He could feel Daichi’s proud hand on his shoulder, Suga’s gaze on his hair. Nishinoya was yelling about how awesome it was, Ennoshita was both smacking Nishinoya on the head and complimenting Hinata. All around him, in his very bones, he felt it. It was love. He felt overwhelmed with love.

In the back of his mind, a familiar saying whispered in his ear. He felt fresh air in his lungs as he took the advice.

_Remember. Take a deep breath. You are good._

And he was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 206 google doc pages and 80,000 words later, we’ve reached the end! Holy cow! This is the longest thing I've ever written, and I can't believe it's over!!!
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has kept up with reading my fic, or is just reading it now for the first time, or is reading it 10 years down the road! Every single one of you means so much to me <3
> 
> Very special thank you to Bel aka @constellationsalad on Instagram for being an awesome beta reader! As both an artist and classically trained musician, she was the perfect person for this job. She does tons of awesome art, especially haikyuu art, so please go follow her! It’s what she deserves!
> 
> Another thank you to @fake-plant, who did some splendid paintings for me, all of which are gorgeous. Go check her out on tumblr!
> 
> Finally, thank you for all the comments and kudos! No matter if you’re commenting 5 minutes after I post this or 5 years, I read all the comments and love them with my very heart and soul.
> 
> To all my artists out there, I hope this fanfic spoke to you in one way or another. There’s a difficult balance between skill and creativity, emotion and perfection, imagination and realism, flying in the sky and having your feet planted firmly on the ground. I hope no matter what art you pursue, you find your balance and your passion. You give so much life to this world. Thank you.
> 
> WELL that’s enough thank yous, this fanfic definitely doesn’t deserve to have an acknowledgments page lmao. But I hope you enjoyed it, and I hope that I see you again soon! If you ever wanna talk haikyuu, fanfic, writing, art, gay stuff, anything at all, message me @squydneyyy on tumblr <3

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I'll be updating within the week for every update, so the earliest is tomorrow and the latest is a week from now! Kudos and comments are much appreciated! If you wanna chat, message me @squydneyyy on tumblr!


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